This morning something scary happened. I think I mentioned before this vibrating sensation I constantly feel. Sometimes it’s very minor but today was the worst.
I woke up feeling like the blood in my body was like a dam opened up and the water was roaring strong and fast causing everything to vibrate. I lay in bed for a long while vibrating and twitching. I got up and went to the washroom. The vibrating became visibly noticeable. I called to my husband 4 times. He didn’t hear me so he didn’t come. I heard him get up and I called one more time. By this time I’m crying. I asked him to come in and just hold my shoulders. I was hoping I’d feel some calm. He did rub my back but his mind was more on getting ready to sign in for work.
So like another whoosh and roar I felt so many things at once. The main theme was that I do not ever want anyone to tell me I need to talk about what’s bothering me and that it’s okay to ask for help. When I do I feel like my thoughts, feelings, knowledge, etc is dismissed. I am dismissed. I have to argue my points every day like I’m in some debate club.
I didn’t call the doctor. He’s only in Monday’s and Thursday’s. I didn’t go to emerg because over 8 hours waiting to be told it’s nothing is not okay.
I went to work. Vibrations and all. Mail was hard because of the dizziness.