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Entitled

I am entitled to feel what I feel.

The brushing of elbows.
The lingering touch of legs,
thighs, feet.
Hands wandering—not always with intent,
just searching for shared connection,
for touch,
platonic or romantic or something unnamed.

It’s funny—
being grown-ass adults
and feeling like we’re back in middle school.
No canoodling.
No blankets shared.
No relationships to be explored.

Rules hovering where curiosity lives.

Is it okay to be a cliché
when clichés exist for a reason?

Is it okay to blur the line
between friend and lover
when you love your friends this much—
quirks, warts, histories, and all?

We lean into each other
emotionally and physically,
the weight of the world
stacked on our shoulders,
our minds,
our hearts.

We can’t—
and won’t—
carry it alone anymore.

But maybe,
maybe we could carry it together.

Sharing the load.
As friends.
Or something more.

It’s funny—
the wondering,
the wishing,
the wanting,
the yearning.

Sharing pieces of yourself
knowing you may never see each other again,
at least not soon.
Distance stretching like a quiet ache.

And still—
making plans.
Dreams.
Wishes.
Plans, and more plans.

Clinging to the feeling
of being loved
without shame or judgment,
even as you offer up
the most shame-soaked pieces of yourself.

To be authentic
is to love
and to be loved.

And I love my friends.

Sometimes very hard.
Sometimes too hard.

But that’s okay.

#MentalHealth #ADHD #MightyPoets #MightyTogether #IfYouFeelHopeless #Trauma
#PTSD #Anxiety #Addiction

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Where attention goes, life follows.

Suffering often continues because the mind keeps returning to the pain itself instead of what can be learned from it. This does not mean minimizing what hurt or pretending it did not matter. It means choosing to extract meaning instead of staying stuck in replay. When you focus on the lesson, you reclaim some power and give your experience a direction instead of letting it define you. Growth does not erase pain, but it prevents pain from being the end of the story. What lesson do you feel ready to take from something that hurt you?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how to deal with painful thoughts. So if you or anyone you know is struggling and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions you want me to answer

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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Mental Health and Stigma: When Survival Is Misunderstood—and Healing Is Judged By BigmommaJ

Mental health struggles do not exist in isolation. They are shaped by experiences, environments, systems, and relationships—many of which were never safe to begin with.

Yet stigma continues to frame mental illness as a personal failure rather than a human response to adversity.

Research consistently shows that stigma is one of the greatest barriers to seeking mental health support, often leading to delayed treatment, increased distress, and poorer outcomes (Mental Health Commission of Canada [MHCC], 2022). Stigma is not just uncomfortable—it is harmful.

For individuals impacted by trauma, child welfare involvement, addiction, and recovery, stigma often becomes an additional wound layered onto an already heavy history.

Where Stigma Begins

Mental health stigma thrives where understanding ends.

It shows up when behaviors are judged without context, when trauma responses are labeled as defiance or manipulation, and when people are reduced to diagnoses instead of seen as whole human beings shaped by what they have lived through. Language and labeling play a critical role in reinforcing stigma, particularly within systems meant to provide care (Herman, 2015).

Stigma asks, “What’s wrong with you?”

Trauma-informed care asks, “What happened to you?”

This shift in perspective is foundational to trauma-informed practice and is supported by evidence demonstrating improved engagement and outcomes when individuals feel understood rather than blamed (SAMHSA, 2014).

Child Welfare, Trauma, and the Mental Health Continuum

Children involved in child welfare systems are disproportionately exposed to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), including abuse, neglect, domestic violence, parental substance use, and chronic instability (Public Health Agency of Canada [PHAC], 2023).

These experiences do not disappear with time—they embed themselves in the nervous system, shaping attachment patterns, emotional regulation, and coping strategies across the lifespan.

The landmark ACEs study established a strong, graded relationship between childhood adversity and later mental health challenges, substance use disorders, and chronic physical illness (Felitti et al., 1998).

Despite this evidence, individuals with child welfare histories are often stigmatized for the very adaptations that helped them survive early adversity.

What we label as “problem behavior” is frequently a trauma response.

What we punish is often pain.

Addiction: A Stigmatized Trauma Response

Addiction remains one of the most stigmatized mental health conditions, particularly when it intersects with trauma histories.

Research shows that a significant proportion of individuals with substance use disorders have experienced childhood trauma, neglect, or violence (SAMHSA, 2014).

Substance use is often an attempt to regulate overwhelming emotions, numb intrusive memories, or create a sense of control when safety was never guaranteed.

Neurobiological research supports that trauma alters stress and reward pathways in the brain, increasing vulnerability to substance use as a coping mechanism (Herman, 2015).

Yet stigma continues to frame addiction as moral failure rather than a health condition, leading to:

*Delayed help-seeking

*Increased shame and secrecy

*Higher relapse rates

*Reduced access to compassionate care

Addiction is not a lack of willpower. It is a nervous system searching for relief.

Personal Reflection: What I’ve Seen—and Lived

Working within child welfare, alongside my own healing and recovery journey, has taught me that people are rarely broken—they are burdened.

I have seen children labeled “difficult” when they were terrified.

Parents judged as “unmotivated” when they were navigating unresolved trauma.

Individuals dismissed as “addicts” instead of recognized as survivors.

I have also lived the impact of stigma—the way it follows you into systems, appointments, and even your own internal dialogue.

Research confirms that internalized stigma significantly worsens mental health outcomes and reduces self-efficacy in recovery (MHCC, 2022).

Recovery, for me, was not just about changing behaviors. It was about unlearning shame. About recognizing that survival does not require justification. And about understanding that healing is not linear—a reality well documented in trauma and recovery literature (Herman, 2015).

Recovery Is Not an Endpoint—It Is a Practice

Recovery is often portrayed as a finish line. In reality, it is an ongoing process of self-regulation, self-awareness, and reconnection.

Evidence-based models of recovery emphasize that healing occurs over time and requires safety, trust, and empowerment (SAMHSA, 2014).

Recovery can mean:

*Learning safer coping strategies

*Rebuilding trust with self and others

*Naming trauma without being defined by it

*Choosing growth even when it’s uncomfortable

Stigma tells people they should be “over it by now.”
Recovery science tells us otherwise.

From Awareness to Action

Public awareness of mental health has increased, yet stigma continues to shape who is believed, who receives care, and who is left behind.

The Mental Health Commission of Canada (2022) emphasizes that meaningful change requires systemic, trauma-informed approaches rather than crisis-driven or punitive responses.

Action looks like:

*Trauma-informed child welfare and mental health systems

*Integrated treatment for mental health and addiction

*Language that reduces shame and increases engagement

*Early intervention rather than crisis-only care

Mental health care must do more than manage symptoms—it must restore dignity.

The Vision: Rise Above Your Norm

Rise Above Your Norm is not just a blog—it is the foundation of a future private practice rooted in lived experience, clinical understanding, and evidence-based, trauma-informed care.

This practice is being built to serve individuals who have been historically misunderstood or marginalized within systems:

*Those with complex trauma histories

*Individuals impacted by child welfare involvement

*People navigating addiction and recovery

*Families working to break generational cycles

*Thos affected by sexual abuse, exploitation and domestic violence

Research consistently shows that trauma-informed, person-centered care improves engagement, outcomes, and long-term recovery (SAMHSA, 2014; MHCC, 2022).

What This Practice Will Stand For

This space will be:

*Trauma-informed, grounded in ACEs and neurobiology research

*Non-judgmental, rejecting shame-based models

*Integrated, addressing mental health and addiction together

*Grounded in dignity, recognizing lived experience as expertise.

Healing should not require proving your pain. It should meet you where you are.

A Call to the Community

*If you are a professional: examine your language and assumptions.

*If you are a policymaker: invest in prevention, not punishment.

*If you are a loved one: replace judgment with curiosity.

*If you are struggling: your healing is valid—even when it is nonlinear.

Reducing stigma is a shared responsibility—and one that directly impacts lives (MHCC, 2022).

A Final Word

Mental health struggles are not evidence of weakness. They are evidence of endurance.

The work ahead is not easy—but it is necessary.

This is how we rise:

*By choosing understanding over stigma.

*By building systems that reflect real lives.

*By believing people are worthy of care long before they reach rock bottom.

This is the work of Rise Above Your Norm.
And this is only the beginning

BigmommaJ
#Stigma #MentalHealth #Addiction #change

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If your mind feels cluttered or noisy, this is one of the fastest ways to clear it.

Many people feel mentally overwhelmed because their thoughts never get processed, they just keep looping. Journaling works because it does the same thing talking to a trusted person does. It helps you externalize your thoughts so you can understand them instead of being buried by them. Simple practices like a five minute brain dump, a short gratitude list, or writing to your future self can reduce mental clutter and increase clarity over time. You do not need to be consistent or good at writing for this to help. You just need to start. Which of these journaling practices feels like the easiest place for you to begin?

If you want to learn more about this, check out my video by clicking on one of the links below.

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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Ice storm coming#Disability #Addiction #Ataxia

Here I am in east Texas, as a winter storm comes closer. People here are shopping like it's Armageddon . At HEB, lots of empty shelves.
My life partner Guy and I aren't too excited. We've got enough food, heat so we'll keep moving on! I'm a winter baby! I was raised in snow, and did all winter sports!
Right now Guy is on Warcraft, I'm needlepointing and my little dog Russell is Iike 'bring it on'!
My son in law asked me to trace Texas (18x18) and follow it in with decorative stitches in his colors. See the pic.
So far, so good!
Happy Friday!
Happy Weekend!🌞

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IN MY MIND

Tell me honestly: did reading this make you feel more free or more trapped? Because your answer may be more important than the entire philosophy.

It sounds like a cage—a thought trapped in a skull, a world reduced to electrical impulses. But perhaps it's not a prison, but a strange paradox: there's no "inside" without an "outside," no observer without the observed.

Freedom isn't about breaking free from your mind, because where else could you escape? It's about recognizing that the boundary between you and the world has never been as sharp as you thought. You are simultaneously prisoner and guard, observer and observed—a universe unto itself, peering at itself from a million points at once. #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #Addiction #MentalHealth

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You don’t have to control your thoughts.

Most people think mental strength comes from controlling their thoughts, but real progress happens when you stop treating every thought as urgent or true. By pausing, labeling thoughts as mental events, and redirecting attention back to the body or the present moment, you interrupt the automatic cycle that fuels anxiety and emotional spirals. This is a skill that gets easier with repetition, not perfection. Even a few moments of not following a thought can give your nervous system relief. Which thought do you notice pulling you in the most lately?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how to deal with painful thoughts. So if you or anyone you know is struggling and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions you want me to answer

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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