Autoimmune Thrombocytopenic Purpura

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Two depressed parents

I really don’t know what to do.
Because of an infidelity from my father that happened 3 years ago my family just collapsed. My mom is very emotional and that broke her, but she is a christian woman so she doesn’t want divorce and always prayed for God to change my dad, etc. My father has been changing in a bad way since like 7 or 8 years ago. He became very volatile and with a lot of anger issues, and he is very, very immature. Since the infidelity, the family has been walking in a thin rope, but then he was texting another woman 4 months after even tho he was “sorry” for the last time. He always plays the victim and my mom is too forgiving. But my mom changed and is the strongest woman I know. Since then my dad has done a lot of stupid things, he doesn’t change, and 3 months ago, he said a lot of hurtful things to my mom and she told me just 2 days ago that he choked her. I couldn’t process that. I was full of anger. That day 3 months ago she was very sick from her gallbladder (she haves gallbladder stones) because of the stress that caused her and she almost died. I will never forget that day. Yesterday my dad snaped in front of his own family and his mom’s birthday because of a misunderstanding with his brothers and my mom had to calm him.

We thought that he would change from that, but no, yesterday and today has been just him playing victim and “poor me”. I had come to the conclusion that he haves narcissistic personality disorder.
But yesterday he admited that he just wanted to jump infront of a car and die. My mom has been battling depression for 3 years too.

I really really don’t know what to do. I too have so many mental issues but I need to keep this family stable.
I have been begging my mom for her to divorce my dad, but as I said, she is Christian so she doesn’t what to do it and because “it would be so shameful”

It feels like my heart doest belong to me and that it’s beating for 3 people. Like if I crumble everything will end.
I can’t breathe, I don’t know what is peace atp anymore.
I wish I had brothers or sisters so I wouldn’t have to live this alone, but at the end of the day it’s jusm me here, trapped and scared that when I wake up one lf my parents wont be there anymore.
#Depression #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder
#BipolarDisorder

(edited)
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Question about Fibromyalgia diagnosis by Naturopathic Doctor

After trying for 3 years with Western doctors, I’ve been going to a Naturopathic doctor who diagnosed me with heavy metal toxicity (Lead & Mercury), Fibromyalgia, and Mold. Glutathione numbers were also lower recently. I also have chronic rash in body folds. I have had chronic lower back pain since a fall in a roller skating push in my early 20’s. I had a hysterectomy & cateract surgery on both eyes before I suddenly lost strength in my limbs within 2 days of each other. By 3 years was bedridden for 6-8 hours with vibrating tingling like having head opened up and dandruff shampoo pour in going all through my body. Overwhelming chronic fatigue. Odd pain issues but not all the time. Fatigue the most pronounced not pain. ATP Fuel, Glutathione and Clay detox with other things help. It’s been 7 1/2 years now and Now able to have Physical Therapy. I’ve seen a symptom wheel and have had most of them some before 7 1/2 years ago. Don’t know if those would count.?

?Has anybody else been diagnosed Fibromyalgia and not had daily all over pain? Where you had earlier pain like my lower back kind of issue?

? Does the other symptoms seem to accompany - like heavy metal & mold common? All of it just feels so crazy. Really trying to get to having more of a life. Really struggle to go sugar free even for two weeks to try getting rid of the rash.

I’d appreciate your experience here. Thanks for the only place I found others who understand. #Fibromyalgia #heavy metals toxicity #mold #BackPain #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue

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tw: sa, ed, drug abuse, depression,

sorry if it’s long and all over the place i just wanna know if anyone feels how i do. i was sexually assaulted by my mother and her bf from 2-4. it caused severe depression very early on in my life and went untreated due to a conservative father.(he’s a diagnosed narcissist) i lived with my dad until i was 14 then moved in with my grandparents bc he was always with his gf and her family. i was always left to fend for myself food, getting to school, setting up doctors appointments basically everything except financially. i wanted him to pay attention so i started doing drugs, going to paries, having sex with random guys some who were wayyyy to old. i consented but i don’t know how to feel about it bc they were the adult in the situation and should’ve stopped it. at a party i was raped by two guys. i feel like all of this is my fault bc if i would’ve accepted that my dad wanted his other family then i wouldn’t have put myself in those environments. i tried to kms which i will never do again (i had been begging for a therapist for almost a year atp) and i was going to tell my dad everything but when i tried he wouldn’t let me talk and basically told me i was depressed because of myself. only 2 people know the entire story of why i tried to kms. it hurts because i wanted to tell him so bad but he only cared about how i made him look by trying to kms. after that i told him i didn’t want to see him anymore and all he had to say was that i was the problem every time i tried to tell him how i feel. it’s started to make me feel like i really was the problem bc after we stopped talking he seems so much happier with his new family(completely different one from when i was 14) im only 17 so i can’t take myself to the doctor even though i live on my own/provide for myself and when i try to contact him to at least call and okay for me to sign myself in he tells me to get over it and if i wanna be grown to figure it out. i don’t wanna be grown i just wanted my dad to love me. also is there something wrong with me that just makes people want to sa me. i coped with the first one but then it happened again and i don’t think i will ever recover. i’m always paranoid and if i see someone who even remotely looks like my abuser i panic and want to cry. i’ve been fine for years until recently idk what made it bad again. #AssaultSurvivors #Depression #NarcissisticAbuse

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#CheckInWithMe

I spent most of my life being uncomfortable. Catering to everyone else’s needs. Now that I found my comfort zone physically and emotionally I don’t want to leave it. I’m am being complacent. I celebrated the need to now physically socialize with people. When it actually happens I clam up. But I understand that is because I am uncomfortable with socializing out of fear…….. my comfort zone is making anywhere feel safe. ATP it’s avoiding anything and everything that forces me to not feel safe.

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#FibromyalgiaInjuries & Slow Healing With Fibromyalgia, CFS

*REPOSTED ARTICLE*
I was looking at my hands and arms recently and realized the myriad red spots I've grown used to seeing (a side effect of training a puppy) have been there since February and March. They're not as angry looking as they once were, but it still looks like I've got some kind of rash.
For comparison, I looked at my husband's puppy-teeth marks -- or rather, I tried to. His have healed completely.

I had to wonder if this was yet another symptom of fibromyalgia. I can't find much of anything research wise (which didn't surprise me), but I did find questions about it in a lot of forums, with enough "me too" responses to make coincidence unlikely. I didn't see much about slow healing in people with chronic fatigue syndrome, but it wouldn't be a shock to find out it was common in that sand box as well.

So why would we heal slowly? When you think about some of our underlying physiology, it makes sense. Researchers know that we have several abnormalities related to the skin: we're prone to tissue over-growth, such as skin tabs, adhesions and fatty tumors called lipomas; many of us bruise and scar easily. Clearly, something is misfiring in our cells. Emerging research increasingly suggests that we have mitochondrial dysfunction.

Mitochondria are tiny parts of our cells that produce energy in the form of adenosine triphosphate (ATP). Our mitochondria appear to be rather bad at their job, meaning we don't have enough energy for basic cellular functions. Mitochondrial dysfunction could play a role in many of our symptoms -- including healing -- and some researchers even believe it's at the core of our illnesses. Then again, many doctors disagree, and this remains an area of controversy. (Read more: Mitochondrial Dysfunction.)

Because I'd really like to get rid of the puppy scratches on my hands before my dog's on geriatric food, I did some research on healing and found that the essential amino acid lysine can help. I started taking it a week ago, and my red spots have cleared up more in that week than in the preceding 2 months. I also learned something else interesting about lysine -- it can help stop hair loss, which is another one of our symptoms!

This is from verywell.com Thyroid Expert Mary Shomon:
"In one study, Dr. Hugh Rushton, a professor at Portsmouth University, also found that 90 percent of women with thinning hair were deficient in iron and the amino acid lysine. Lysine is the most difficult amino acid to get enough of via diet. Lysine helps transport iron, which is the most important element in the body and essential for many metabolic processes. When lysine and iron levels are low, the body probably switches some hair follicles off to increase levels elsewhere."

Is that what's happening in us? We can't say for sure, but it does give us something to try. Poultry and fish have the most lysine, and you can also get L-lysine supplements."

By Adrienne Dellwo....www.verywellhealth.com/injuries-slow-healing-fibromyalgia-397303

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Feeling claustrophobic in one's own mind

I’m a 19 year old medical student from India, the first time I visited a psychiatrist was when my anatomy teacher had suggested that my behavioral pattern was somewhat odd for an otherwise well-performing undergraduate. Sigmund Freud, someone I stumbled upon a day before my first psychotherapy session with my psychiatrist. I climb up two flights of stairs to finally arrive at the counseling room , my cold sweaty palms , lifeless of late, trembling as I sit on the chair. I start talking to the psychiatrist, 5 more sessions until I was referred to a psychiatrist. > – Benzodiazepenes to replace my mom’s lullaby for me to sleep peacefully, the classic SSRI anti-depressants, an anti-psychotic cause I had mentioned about an auditory hallucination and an anti-#Anxiety drug. 1 week more for my university exams- wonderful. I pass those exams with a decent enough grade for a medical course, enter second year. Another year of drowning inside the ocean- that is the thoughts in my mind, perhaps cerebrospinal fluid is the liquid medium. 3 months pass by ( 2 months of winter) – barely have the energy to get off the bed and witness another sunrise, needless to say- the first semester was bad. Second semester- lost weight ( I’m pretty chubby), I started sleeping for 14 hours only to be waken up by my grandmother screaming at the door cause hey, I am a complete mess right now. Another round of medications, it worked after 2 weeks of taking them everyday- I went to college, topped all the exams, even won the second place in my city in a medical subject. My practical work, however was drifting away. There was no energy for anything now. ATP is now the graveyard of my dead soul. A couple of months forward, stopped the medicines cause of the side effects- almost felt like a walking zombie. As I’m writing this , I have 4 more days for my finals this year but I have to keep reminding myself to put #MentalHealth ahead of everything else.

There’ll be days where your personal hygiene is questionable even to you, the smell of your sweaty armpits might even linger in the air but hey, at least bacteria have a new home now! Your mouth is bone-dry, even the most flavorful of dishes look like a bowl of cemetery broth to you, rainy days are the best, your room is almost always dark, you wouldn’t have gotten outside your room for weeks together, everyone else might seem like they have their things together. But remember, tomorrow when you wake up, The Sun is still going to rise, to invite you into its warm reality, my fellow warrior, what shall we call one who battles scars that only he/she can see, soaking up the cold venous blood as if it’s the aura of death and waiting to arrest the blood from your scars that seems to overflow all the time but no-one can see it. Stay strong , more power to you.

I wrote this portion when I had a severe episode of #MajorDepressiveDisorder

ECHOES

Echoes are now a part of me, they are beautiful I can tell, whether by art or nature I can’t.

First cry, when I stepped into this sorrowful cloud of meaninglessness, ever ebbing and pouring muck over me when it’s full or when I bear its fruits of salvific happiness at random points of time,overall I am a puppet.

Mom’s caresses, her fingers dry and nice on my skin creating circular motions hoping to contain me within a steeple of sanity, but I seem to be slipping out of it always.

Lunch box, lunch made of rotten vegetables , not love but when my box fell on the flagstone and its contents leaked from it , just like my eyes do sometimes, the sound kept ringing in my ears, desperate for the next meal.

My first book, books are written by the loneliest creatures in this universe I discover, picturesque and meaningful, I breathe in the smell of the pages, quite so nostalgic, my fingers turning its pages is stuck within me.

My friend sketching, vibrant colors here and there, a pinch of them in me is all I ask, the black and white is saturating, grey seems to be too far to grasp. The sound of the sketch against the paper seemed like velvet once upon a time, now, a mere hope of getting through another day.

Twisted knees, you pushed me down in the playground, personifying life itself when we were young. More power to you for letting me know that I am strong. The strenght has faded now, so push me now again but this time stick around to help me rise again.

Aeroplanes and skylines, absorbing human emotions day and night, you keep us sane. Th metallic sheen is disturbing, so comfort me with rain.

Rivulet, raindrops assure me that nature cries too, I stand aloof and cry along with it so our tears land in the same place. You make me sleep so comfortably numb. Drop, top, drop, top, sonorific at times.

Success, I tie my lace to signify that I have something under my control, you clap your hands, a bon mot and a spiff, still empty inside.

Love, tender drops of saliva dripping from the side of your mouth, we kiss, I take in you inside me, for a moment I thought I wasn’t lonely, your lips purse and the effortless friction sends a buzz through my body, I ache for it.

Your heartbeat,I listen to it through the chintz and it makes me feel safe but you have a muffled heartbeat, I run away from you.

Moaning, perfect beguiling making me come,acting as goad to keep me in touch with the rhythm created by the movement of our bodies.

Cash on the counter, pieces of paper seeming to add value to my life, I slam them against the counter, greedy eyes wanting the share, leave me alone, you split it among yourselves, give me my peace back.

Biting your teeth, anxiety, my best friend reminding me that he is at my disposal, wearing away your surfaces along with your stress.

Blood bank, crises and destruction, droplets of blood,saving my body, my soul has died already, save my soul too.

Gymnasium, I lift the weights and myself too, bearing responsibility, never letting go, my physical form goes , I am left behind in a melee.

My favorite echo of all them all are the ruminating thoughts that never stopped and the lob of the gunshot to my head, a timeless wound making time pause and the earshot infinite, I see my pain enervate in a millitenth of a second, my ears bleed and I hear no more echoes.

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