So I guess this IS my first post on here... I am both ashamed & proud of that. I love writing. But, I never follow through. My issue before, was I spent too much time on other social media platforms- not that they are bad! But for me- they were. Scrolling on certain social media sites was hurting my self esteem, adding to my sense of FOMO, causing me to “hurt my own feelings”, & make me feel like I was racing against a ticking clock which I was feeling extremely behind on... (things like finding the career, the financial stability, goals of learning to drive etc., not as much beginning a family but I think my list is just so behind in my head that I can’t even think that far ahead, despite being 32 years old…) in other words, since about Thanksgiving 2022, I have taken a detox from a few websites. What my new goal is, is to be more active on here. A place where I feel more welcomed, less outcasted (not that anybody MEANT to outcast me), & less alone in my diseases/illnesses. I know it is not what makes me who I am, but it is a part of me & right now, being in my current status with some of my illnesses, it is a big part of my day to day life.
I had to accept a new ailment into my life lately. Back pain. The kind many talk about & I always thought “well I have neck issues but I have never had debilitating lower back pain so I am lucky there…) though I never realized how obviously naive I was being to not remember that the spine connects (duh) & I will likely end up with lower back pain at some point given my scoliosis. This happened after my most recent job (since then I have taken time off but it looks like I may need to look into other work) where I was on my feet for upwards of 10 hours a day between breaks. Despite our professional dresscode, I even bought the crocs that look less “croc like” meant for all day standing… well a week into my new position (field sales), I was in significant back pain. Come New Years Eve, I was on the couch enjoying some wine & all of a sudden, I couldn’t get up. I felt *helpless*... Something I don’t usually feel despite a long list of lifelong problems. I was bedridden with ice, heat rotations & Biofreeze & SalonPas the next 3 days. When business opened back up, I went to get checked out. I was given a muscle relaxer & Prednisone oral short term. (Don’t you love that stuff…me too—sarcasm), but I am not out of the woods. It is still very hard to do mundane tasks. My mom got me a back stretcher on Amazon (basically a curved thing you lay on that actually feels good & does temporarily help) & I am looking up YouTube exercises. The pain is in my lower tailbone area & surrounding. About the entire width of my lower back. I had scans done & nothing outside of my usual scoliosis shape seems to be off. I used to be an avid regular of the chiropractor but going there now is a challenge finacially. Also that was more for my neck & regular pains. This pain is much worse & it scares me to mess with. Of course I am no expert. I do not know my next steps or what I need… I guess I do not know the point of my post. I hope to look back & say wow that was a bad time & it did pass. Chronic pain is no fun. I can’t take advil or aleve because of my Crohn’s/GERD. It makes me so nauseous. I thought the prednison would work better than this. Oh well… I hope everyone is having a good New Years.