NarcissisticAbuse

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    Husband highly influenced by his toxic family

    I have grown up in a family that believes in forgiving, seeing the good in people, and putting others before ourselves. We try to see every situation from a place of understanding and empathy. The values I've grown up with are in stark contrast to my husband's upbringing. His family is vengeful, egoistic and the most unforgiving people I've come across.

    So whenever we get into an argument, my husband gives me ultimatums like "unless you agree to what I say, things will never get better." He likes to think that everything is my fault and that he or his parents can never be wrong.

    The last fight we had was a month ago. We reached a settlement after which he had to travel abroad for work. After that incident I have been nothing but kind and loving towards him. Despite being in a long distance relationship now, I've tried to express my love for him in whatever way I could. I keep reminding him of our good times and giving him hope for the future. But he is so full of resent even now that he continues being emotionally abusive by ignoring me and dismissing my efforts.

    The problem is his toxic family. They keep feeding him lies about me. He was a divorcee before he married me. His family was responsible for breaking his first marriage. I accepted him without judgment and loved him too much that he couldn't believe his luck. He told me this himself. But after his family got involved things have only gotten worse between us.

    How can I make him see that the real problem is his toxic family? 😞 Am I to be blamed for spoiling him with my love? What is the correct approach in this situation?

    #NarcissisticAbuse #toxicrelationship #Anxiety #Depression

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    The Ocean as Support for Grief

    The ocean has been a reliable companion when I've struggled with grief. Its immense presence seems to help contain my tears. Word Baths are my ritual of defining my word for the day. (Thankfully not sad today, but offering for those who are.)

    ##dailyaffirmations #dailyrituals #definitions #writingcommunity #Writing #writingprompts #memoir #Meditation #anxietyrelief #anxietysupport #Ptsdrecovery #PTSDawareness #Selflove #selfcare #UlcerativeColitis #AnalCancer #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #NarcissisticAbuse #CoerciveControl

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    TRIGGER WARNING

    So evidently the definitions of sex crimes are a lot broader than originally thought. I have had three sexual partners in my life. According to the technical definitions, all three of them victimized me with #SexualAssault two of them perpetrated #SexualViolence against me and, because of the updated definition, one #Rape d me. This on top of #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse and #emotionalrape by two of them. That on top of my official diagnoses no doubt stemming from the trauma above. Further explanation for why I struggle so much.

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    Support

    Hi! I am looking for those who would like to connect further to be added support for each other. If you're interested, please message me. Below is my history and experience. Thank you!#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Trauma #Insomnia #Arthritis #ChronicMigraines #cervicogenic Headache #OccipitalNeuralgia #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse #SexualAssault

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    Dreams

    I had this dream last night where I'm supposed to be getting married, but in the days leading up to the day, I noticed something was off. On the day, I found out that the guy had bad habits similar to my step-father's and I called off everything on the spot. After making the announcement of the break in the plans, my mom applauds me for my strength to not subject myself to a troubled marriage, but my step-father says nothing. It's strange to me that I was strong enough in a dream to stand up against a narcissist with secrets. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Blacksheep #NarcissisticAbuse

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    What is at the top of the mountain?

    Where do you go once you're there?

    Once you've made it to the top of the mountain and what you expected to be elation is replaced with confusion?

    The top of the mountain is foreign.

    We all hope, climb, fall- over and over just praying we can hold stamina for the next
    round.

    But what about when you make it?

    What is really there, at the top of that mountain in your mind?

    I'm nearly there and the mountain is desolate. Nothing I'm familiar with remains.

    Is this where we fall or is this where we muster up all of the absolute fight we have to live a life surrounded by those who cannot make the climb?

    And what about the doubt, fear, pain? Does it disappear, dissipate, or remain for eternity?

    I guess there's only one way to find out?

    #Healing
    #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder
    #Trauma
    #NarcissisticAbuse

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    Tenderness to Self

    TENDERNESS is so much easier to find for a sweet fuzzy animal than for our wounded grumpy selves. (Not that these wallabies were about to lash out at me!) Asking for a Word for the day is my writing ritual, I then bathe in whatever definition arises. What is your definition of Tenderness?

    #dailyaffirmations #dailyrituals #anxietyrelief #anxietysupport #Ptsdrecovery #PTSDawareness #Selflove #selfcare #UlcerativeColitis #AnalCancer #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #NarcissisticAbuse #CoerciveControl

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    Tolerance for a Friday

    Tolerance - a good word for a Friday when the tank refill is very very close....

    Meanwhile, there is always a cup of tea. My Word Baths are my definitions of a word that pops up for me first thing in the morning. A great writing ritual as at least I have written something before breakfast.

    #dailyaffirmations #dailyrituals #definitions #writingcommunity #Writing #writingprompts #memoir #Meditation #anxietyrelief #anxietysupport #Ptsdrecovery #PTSDawareness #Selflove #selfcare #UlcerativeColitis #AnalCancer #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #NarcissisticAbuse

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    My mom is toxic #Toxic #ToxicParenting #BPD #Angerissues #Childhoodtrauma #narcisstwithvictimcomplex #Depression

    A few days ago I had a fight with my mom because she is rude, doesn’t want to understand my emotions and thoughts, and honestly she is toxic. The problem is, my bank account is overdrawn and right now I can’t do anything about it. I just started a new job and it’s exhausting. I tried to explain to her, I tried to say that I just can’t do an additional side job because of my mental illness.
    She also insulted my girlfriend, talked to her like she was her child and yelled at her.
    She almost made me explode, I was going to freak out and then my girlfriend showed me a text message that said I should calm down a little bit cause she makes me angry, and she’s right. She makes me angry every time I talk to her. Every time there’s something that she doesn’t like or hate about me. With every call my self esteem dies a little bit more, and the pain won’t stop, and then I’m crying because of the things she said. Every time. And now she ignores our fight, ignores her words and the terrible things she said about me. Honestly I don’t know why she does this. I mean, she should have learned from New Year’s Eve - I had a suicide attempt with my girlfriend. Since that three days at the hospital in the ICU and psych ward she says that she worries about me. Although we haven’t circled around another “attempt” since then at all. But being rude doesn’t help, it makes everything worse. Now she wants me to just get over it, to forget and “be(act?) happy and communicative” for her, so she doesn’t have to worry about me. Well, I don’t think she worries. I think she’s jealous of my girlfriend, I talk about everything with her, I can be myself. With my mother, everything seems unreal and I’m not really there like I see everything through clouds or something. Can anyone relate? I just have no clue how to deal with my mom, how to explain that I am ill and I’ll never going to be healthy. You can’t heal borderline personality disorder if you just “find a hobby that you love and care about” I mean wtf is wrong with you?! Like “you could start riding a horse again or working with animals, animals are pure therapy and joy”.
    Does anyone knows how I can deal with her? I just don’t know what to do anymore. #NarcissisticAbuse

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    Target

    Being the 'bigger person' just makes you a bigger target. I'd rather be a moving target...running away in a zigzag pattern (just like when someone is shooting at you). It's harder to hit an unpredictable moving target.

    Break your predictable patterns of behavior they have come to depend on and run far, far away. Getting repeatedly and unrelentingly 'stabbed' and 'shot' at will eventually lead to 'death' of one form or another. Toxic families are masters at 'Death by One Thousand Cuts'.

    #toxicfamilies #NarcissisticAbuse #FamilyScapegoat

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