Husband highly influenced by his toxic family
I have grown up in a family that believes in forgiving, seeing the good in people, and putting others before ourselves. We try to see every situation from a place of understanding and empathy. The values I've grown up with are in stark contrast to my husband's upbringing. His family is vengeful, egoistic and the most unforgiving people I've come across.
So whenever we get into an argument, my husband gives me ultimatums like "unless you agree to what I say, things will never get better." He likes to think that everything is my fault and that he or his parents can never be wrong.
The last fight we had was a month ago. We reached a settlement after which he had to travel abroad for work. After that incident I have been nothing but kind and loving towards him. Despite being in a long distance relationship now, I've tried to express my love for him in whatever way I could. I keep reminding him of our good times and giving him hope for the future. But he is so full of resent even now that he continues being emotionally abusive by ignoring me and dismissing my efforts.
The problem is his toxic family. They keep feeding him lies about me. He was a divorcee before he married me. His family was responsible for breaking his first marriage. I accepted him without judgment and loved him too much that he couldn't believe his luck. He told me this himself. But after his family got involved things have only gotten worse between us.
How can I make him see that the real problem is his toxic family? 😞 Am I to be blamed for spoiling him with my love? What is the correct approach in this situation?