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Feeling good #Manic #bipolarmania

I feel so good today and I know mania is on the horizon

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Living with Bipolar Disorder: Bipolar Mania and the 6 Months Being a Maniac #BipolarDisorder #bipolarmania #BipolarDisorderManicEpisode

I’m setting a new PB every day with the Manic phase and it’s duration. I’m seemingly unable to budge from what I can describe as not being full blown off the scale mania, but it’s severe enough to mean that I have had to finish work and leave my job of 8 years, I have only managed to get 2 baths in 2023 (I have a wash every day though), I’m not eating anything for 3 days or 50 hours at least then I have something to eat and then I have something else straight after and this repeats until I have eaten, for example, a bacon butty, packet of biscuits, chicken Kiev’s and chips, 3 corneto ice cream and drank 5 or 6 can of Diet Coke. I’m weighing myself each day and I’m not losing weight on the days of not eating. Recently my blood tests came back with high Thyroid level so may be that or maybe it’s just the bloody Quetiapine I am throwing down my neck. Nobody knows how it works after all.
My Quetiapine (300mg) at night is meant to help you sleep. I’m taking it at the moment and sleeping is replaced with restless legs and an inability to get comfy or sit still. My mind goes racing off in all directions with things that I need (or actually don’t need) to do. Playing out scenarios like I was attempting to complete every possibility and all of the outcomes across every alternate dimension across the universe.

You know when you get them moments of clarity in your mind, when the penny drops, it makes sense? It potentially gives you a bit of inspiration to write, converse or do something? Maybe not, we’re all individuals. But just now try to imagine what it is like to have about 100 or more things going on in and around your mind. Rapid, at the speed of light, none stop, relentlessly. Now try imagining it going on for days on end?!? Well now try imagining it going on for weeks?!? Now try imagining it going on for months?!?! Six fucking months!

So this leads to worry and uncertainty about things you’ve made up! The voices are chatting incessantly and they chat some absolute shite let me tell you!
#MightyTogether #MentalHealth

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What Bipolar Disorder is to me #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #bipolarmania #RapidCycleBipolarDisorder

Bipolar Disorder is about the unknown
Bipolar Disorder is about taking medication
Bipolar Disorder is about feelings you can’t describe
Bipolar Disorder is about being different from your friends
Bipolar Disorder is about confusion
Bipolar Disorder is about questions
Bipolar Disorder is about adapting
Bipolar Disorder is about sleepless nights
Bipolar Disorder is about being honest
Bipolar Disorder is about understanding
Bipolar Disorder is about awareness
Bipolar Disorder is about acceptance
Bipolar Disorder is about pride
Bipolar Disorder is about you
Bipolar Disorder is about difficulty
Bipolar Disorder is about realisations
Bipolar Disorder is about perspective
Bipolar Disorder is about why
Bipolar Disorder is about when
Bipolar Disorder is about where
Bipolar Disorder is about whatever
Bipolar Disorder is about what
Bipolar Disorder is about everything
Bipolar Disorder is about this
Bipolar Disorder is about that

You are about a multitude of different things and you are not about Bipolar.

You have Bipolar Disorder but aren’t Bipolar Disorder

#BipolarDisorder #MightyTogether

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Living with Bipolar Disorder: Bipolar Mania and Sleep #BipolarDisorder #bipolarmania #Sleep #Insomnia

I have written an account about my current experiences with sleep issues and being manic. I’m starting to feel that using more and more medication isn’t the answer. Maybe we should accept that some people have different needs and requirements. Just because you don’t fit in the predefined parameters of some politicians rigid regimes of the way you live your life you’re ill?
#Quetiapine #lorazepam #MightyTogether

Living with Bipolar Disorder: Bipolar Mania and Sleep

“Try to imagine what it will be like to go to sleep and never wake up… now try to imagine what it was like to wake up having never gone to sleep.” Alan Watts So this year started off with my …
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Medication Cannot Stop All the Battles

Two months ago I heard the darkest phrase I've been told. "You have Bipolar 2"

That phrase answered several unanswered questions about behaviors from the recent past and behaviors that I look back now and thought, "wow that was super impulsive."

I began a mood stabilizer a month ago. As my body metabolizes the medication, I felt that dark cloud covering me begin to lift. I began the full dose, and that cloud seemed to of disappeared.

I began to handle daily stressed with ease, and so many things just began to roll off me.

Until a cancellation of an event I was so excited to attend with my future husband. He didn't want to go.

I felt like I fell backwards off a high diving board, and plunged back into the darkest depths that I sought freedom from.

I shared my perspective of my feelings and my fiance was just not saying what I needed, what I wanted him to say.

I needed to hear that he isn't ashamed of my bipolar, that I am valued and a beautiful person. Instead I heard coping statements, and phrases of "next times," or "we can go do those others things you want to do."

Right now, I want to turn back the hands of time, go back to last night and have my cup filled with joy of going out and enjoying an event together.

Medication can help with keeping me in mania shorter, but it doesn't help with coping, and feeling the pain of insecurity.

Not even 2 small pills can help the stupidest battles that plunge you into the dark.

But it can help you see the light again and that life does go on. #Bipolar2 #bipolarmedication #bipolarmania #ManicEpisodes


Self harm

I'm 42 years old. Why the f**k do I still have urges to cut myself?!?!?! I gave in recently. Abiut an hour or so later I regretted it and felt like a fool! I cut in places most won't see.
#Selfharm #Cutting #AdultSelfHarm #AdultCutting #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Depression #bipolarmania #Mania #ADHD #AdultADHD