bipolarmania

Two months ago I heard the darkest phrase I've been told. "You have Bipolar 2"

That phrase answered several unanswered questions about behaviors from the recent past and behaviors that I look back now and thought, "wow that was super impulsive."

I began a mood stabilizer a month ago. As my body metabolizes the medication, I felt that dark cloud covering me begin to lift. I began the full dose, and that cloud seemed to of disappeared.

I began to handle daily stressed with ease, and so many things just began to roll off me.

Until a cancellation of an event I was so excited to attend with my future husband. He didn't want to go.

I felt like I fell backwards off a high diving board, and plunged back into the darkest depths that I sought freedom from.

I shared my perspective of my feelings and my fiance was just not saying what I needed, what I wanted him to say.

I needed to hear that he isn't ashamed of my bipolar, that I am valued and a beautiful person. Instead I heard coping statements, and phrases of "next times," or "we can go do those others things you want to do."

Right now, I want to turn back the hands of time, go back to last night and have my cup filled with joy of going out and enjoying an event together.

Medication can help with keeping me in mania shorter, but it doesn't help with coping, and feeling the pain of insecurity.

Not even 2 small pills can help the stupidest battles that plunge you into the dark.

But it can help you see the light again and that life does go on. #Bipolar2 #bipolarmedication #bipolarmania #ManicEpisodes

I'm 42 years old. Why the f**k do I still have urges to cut myself?!?!?! I gave in recently. Abiut an hour or so later I regretted it and felt like a fool! I cut in places most won't see.
#Selfharm #Cutting #AdultSelfHarm #AdultCutting #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Depression #bipolarmania #Mania #ADHD #AdultADHD

Hey all,

I've only recently started coming out of my first Manic episode (I'm 31yrs old) where rage was front and center. I was unpredictable, uncontrollable, uncontainable and my loved ones were often the target. Verbal abuse was my weapon and I attacked with a fury straight out of hell itself. Most of these anger episodes are a big blur to me, but my loved ones have helped me remember my behavior during my Mania.

I should note that I asked them to do this so that I could tell my psychiatrist. I want to try and understand what happened to me. I want to know what to look out for and learn ways to spot the boiling pot before it boils over.

What I clearly remember is the rage I felt. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced and it terrified me. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I couldn't stop it. I knew I was losing control during my anger episodes, I knew my grip was slipping, but knowing that only made my anger more hysterical and NOT knowing where it was coming from and what to do about it made it more chaotic.

I was put on an antipsychotic about 4 months ago and it really has been helpful keeping the fury at bay, but that still doesn't mean I don't want to know other ways of coping with it. I don't want to just depend on medication, I want to know I can depend on myself too.

Has anyone else diagnosed with Bipolar 1 (or bipolar 2) dealt with Bipolar Rage? I've read that "rage" isn't a symptom of Bipolar disorder but I call "bully" on that!

Anyone else's experiences or advice would be deeply appreciated and most welcomed 💚

Love,
-D

#Mania #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #bipolarmania #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #bipolarrage #bipolaranger #AngerManagement

Hi, Struggling bouncing between moods. I'm currently in the all over the place, mind doesn't understand the difference between $1 or $100, I forget stuff because my brain is processing so many things so quickly type of mood. I'm not particularly "happy", but I'm not sad. I don't want to be around more people. I'm just not depressed or thinking about dying or how bad things are. But I'm not like "Infinitely Bipolar" mania or "Wolf of Wall Street" living it up (of course fiction movies have to sell it, but I digress).

So my question is what does mania or hypomania feel like for you?

Ftr, I have a first visit with a psychiatrist in two weeks. A little nervous...

#BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #bipolarmania #bipolarhealth

I struggle with bipolar disorder. Recently I went around 10ish days without my meds (mood stabilizer, antidepressant, anxiety med). I'm back on track but I know it'll take at least 2-3 weeks to get back on track.

Right now, I'm manic. And my God does it feel amazing. I feel upbeat and productive. I feel like I can take any problem. I feel excited about life.

But I also can't keep still. I'm extra loud, talking extra fast, extra extra extra. I've gotten things done but they aren't the important things - like cleaning, or my job (I work from home).

I know eventually I'll be ok again, and honestly I look forward to that. But in the meantime (at least for the next few days, because the downswing almost always comes) I'm burning the candle at both ends. It rocks, but it also sucks.

#Mania #BipolarDisorder #bipolarmania #bipolarmixed #wheee

I’ve learned that when I’m manic, I talk a lot. More than usual. This may be due my irritability, agitation and excitement (I learned it’s okay to be irritated and manic). How do you cope? #BipolarDisorder