bpdawareness

I hope this letter finds you well. How are you?

I don't think I'll ever get to know, but I hope

you are doing fine. It saddens me And to be

honest, not a day has gone by that I haven't

though about you. I still watch our photos

from time to time and it still makes me

smile, and at the same time it makes me cry.

I will never forget you. Even if the memories

hurt, I don't ever want to forget you. You'll

always have a special place in my heart

because you were and will be my 'special'

love. We had something special. You walked

into my life one day and you made me realize

that you were everything that I needed and

wanted. I thought you were the one for me,

and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with

you.

You were my lover and my best friend. I

could always count on you. We had

everything planned out. After we get settled

than our marriage, then married life and all.

But somewhere along the way, we lost track

of it. I tried to bring back the flame, but it

ended up burning everything down.

I'm sorry. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss you.

Because even before we ended, I've been

missing you for much longer than that, I

wanted us to be together 24/7. I miss you

leaning on my shoulder, I miss my'

'comfy-spot'. I miss me lifting you in in terrace, ,I

miss me starring at you in public cause i

didn't have a care in the world. It was just

you and me.I

think that you did give your 100% to tolerate me.#

You loved me in a way no one else did. You

became a part of me. I grew in the love that

you gave me, and I'll forever be thankful.

You are the love of my life. Always will be.

But love doesn't conquer all, and the reality

is, not everyone gets to hold on to the love of

their lives. But this doesn't mean that l'm

giving up on the possibility of us being

together again. If we're meant for each other,

we'll find our way back to each other.

I had to let go trying because you were no

longer happy seeing me. I was continuously

suffocating and hurting you. I didn't really

have a choice. The tears had to end, and I

didn't want to get to the point where we start

hating each other. Although you probably

hate me now, I'm still hoping that someday

you'll learn to forgive me. I'm hoping that

you'll understand why we became to be like

this and you want to give it a go again.

Nevertheless, your significance in my life will

never change. I love you enough that I would

still want you in my life even if I'm no longer

your reason to be happy. I thought you would,

too. Thank you for the memories, the good

and the bad, and I'll forever cherish them till

the day I leave this world. I was lucky to have

met you. After all, not everyone gets to meet

their love of the lives, and I know in my heart

and mind, that you were mine. I'm sorry for

the times I have hurt you and made you cry. I

really am.

Bubbye Rapunzel

#BPD #Bpdrecovery #bpdawareness

I was asked if I felt defined by my condition and honestly the answer is yes. Even on my “good” days I still feel this emptiness and stress. Trying to stay on top of my emotions often creates a mess, there’s so much going on in my mind that I can never express.

My BPD consumes me, it’s always there,
I’m paying for my abusers actions which isn’t fair, I’m left emotionally damaged from the things that they did, when they were the ones who chose to abuse A KID!

BPD has ruined my friendships and makes it’s difficult to cope, but i will continue to never give up hope.
I have faith that I will find the happiness I deserve to receive and not have my whole world fall down when someone decides to leave. I will learn to trust and let people in but most importantly I WONT LET MY BPD WIN!! #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdsymptoms #Bpdisexhausting #BPDStigma #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #bpdawareness #mentalhealthpoetry #Poetry

I just realized that May is Borderline personality Disorder Awareness Month, and on top of that, this month carries a couple of anniversaries. First being that my uncle passed away today three years ago. Second, this was the beginning of my 2 1/2 month long period of being suicidal. Last May was really rough. For the most part, I couldn't really put into words what I was feeling at that time, I just felt like I was losing my mind and didn't want to be here. I was dealing with heartache on one end and a breakdown of my family in another. Both of which I'm sure were contributing factors of my declining mental health, but it opened up some things to me. I began to heal and learn more about myself among other things. I'm on meds and in therapy, but I still have moments where I'm still struggling with abandonment, self worth, intrusive thoughts, and other things. I don't feel that I'm out of the woods yet, I just think I'm able to navigate a little bit than before. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdawareness

youtu.be/uqBMe1YzPmM

#BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPDStigma #MentalHealthStigma #MentalHealthAwareness #bpdawareness #borderlinepersonalityawareness

I’m freaking out stomach nausea from eating old hummus ok had croutons and 3 vegi crackers to settle stomach am I ok from eating the old hummus my worries are there and I can’t ca myself down enough to sleep will I be ok or do u die from accidentally eating hummus from late aug I can’t sleep and am scared bc of nausea #PTSD #Selfcare #CPTSD #CPTSDinrelationships #CheckInWithMe #checkinginwithme #Upallnight #Chatspace #Hugs #Friends #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdawareness #BPDDiagnosis #CPTSDinrelationships #help #BipolarDisorder #Disability #Chat #PinchedNerve #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PTSDawareness #Fibromyaliga #Fibromyalgia #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Aspergers #AspergersSyndrome #Spoonie #SpoonieProblems #Spoonies #Aspie #Art #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HashimotosThyroiditis #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MightyQuestions #TheMightyTakeaway #MightyTogether #MightyMusic #mightymen #mightywarriors #mightywriters #MightyMoms #MightyMail #mightytoghter #DBT #DatingWithAChronicIllness #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Dating #Depression #datingdisabilities #Disabililty #disablity #checkinonme #Walking #52SmallThings #30Days30Stories #30daysofteal #Healthy #SaveMe #Company

#MentalHealth #warrior #Childhoodtrauma #PTSD #CPTSD #bpdawareness #livingwithbpd #BPDStigma #empathizeeducateadvocate

This is National Borderline Mental Health Month. I was thinking of those of us living with BPD and how strong we must be just to survive, every day, especially during this time of Covid-19. Here's a shout-out to all of us #stay
(BPD) is a personality disorder that can be both hereditary or acquired by growing up in a traumatic childhood environment. Many with BPD were abused sexually, physically, verbally, and mentally as a child. We are often born into families of dysfunction. There is no 1 drug or fix for those of us who suffer. BPD can display in a multitude of ways. We live with constant stigma. Like snowflakes, we have unique symptoms. The criteria diagnosis however, is much the same. At the very core are abandonment, trauma and abuse issues. The journey to manage our symptoms is lifelong. Having BPD as a diagnosis is compared to living with stage 4 terminal cancer in stress. Left unchecked, our symptoms can destroy our lives and the lives of those who try to love us. BPD can go into remission, only to reoccur in minutes by something that triggers us. A trigger is a connection between the conscious mind and a buried painful memory. It can occur by sight, sound, smell, words. Coming out of nowhere, it sends our mind back to an experienced trauma. This is also known as Complex PTSD. Living with BPD means a lifetime of always explaining yourself and your actions to others. BPD leaves us second-guessing our thoughts and emotions 24/7. Lacking the grey area in our brain, we split black/white thinking. All or Nothing. Good or Bad. Love or Hate. BPD is your brain going 90 mph with the parking brake on. We are misunderstood, abandoned or dismissed due to our instability and dysregulation of our moods. From this, we suffer great loneliness. If you take time to know us, you will find us to be intelligent people. We are generous and giving. We love big and are loyal. We would lay our life down for those we love. We'd rather hurt ourselves than you. If we do hurt you in our words or actions, we often take it out by self-harming and self-loathing that can last for days. We find it hard to forgive ourselves when our symptoms flair. This is not a life we asked for. It is a life we Radically Accept. BPD has the highest suicide rate of all mental disorders. We are #warriors as we have been fighting for our lives since we were a child. 💪Alice M. Pirola