I was asked if I felt defined by my condition and honestly the answer is yes. Even on my “good” days I still feel this emptiness and stress. Trying to stay on top of my emotions often creates a mess, there’s so much going on in my mind that I can never express.
BPD has ruined my friendships and makes it’s difficult to cope, but i will continue to never give up hope.
I have faith that I will find the happiness I deserve to receive and not have my whole world fall down when someone decides to leave. I will learn to trust and let people in but most importantly I WONT LET MY BPD WIN!! #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdsymptoms #Bpdisexhausting #BPDStigma #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #bpdawareness #mentalhealthpoetry #Poetry
There was a luminous crack hiding beneath each deliberation of expiry
Each ideation nurtured one another until they cultivated
a dune of brittle unkempt wildflowers
Far from the glow that narrowly leached from each splintered fragment you are delicately veiling your crown as though the light is but an unreachable glare
Reaching only for the roots to ground you where you lay
Unknowingly twisted and engorged with inanimate roots
until the horizon is but a somber burn
Yet a somber burn gives birth to a blaze and the embers have always been near
Deliberately the thicket clears as the flames feast
There was a luminous crack
BDD festers in your brain,
Starts to make you go insane
Unrealistic beauty standards hard to maintain,
I begin to crumble
So fixated on my flaws
And the depression that is caused
I am obsessed
Forever picking at my spots,
Can’t bring myself to stop,
I crave a smooth complexion
In hopes of reaching my goal of perfection
So for once i can look in the mirror and be happy with my reflection.
I know there are many girls who feel the same
Who bare this pain
Who also have this illness that plagues their brain and I just want you to know that We are Beautiful, I hope one day you see that ❤️
#BodyDysmorphicDisorder #BDD #MentalHealth #Recovery #BodyPositive #beautiful #mentalhealthpoetry
I am the storm.
I am the tidal wave, the fire, the war.
What I spread is pain,
I crush everything,
Hopes and dreams and love.
A want for a world without me.
I spread like a wildfire,
Destroying everything in my path.
Taking with me the innocent, the pure.
I will go down in history.
They will remember me as the plague that poisoned everything.
When I am gone, people will rebuild.
Joy and new life can once again grow and flourish.
The relief when I am gone will spread faster than my fire ever did.
I will be a sore memory,
A reminder of the darkness in the world.
I feel the unstoppable-
unstoppable strange burning woe
that crawls under my skin.
As if the burning woe is
frothed along with the blood
all over my body.
I took out a sharp knife,
laid the sharp edge on my wrist,
and begin to cut the skin aggressively.
Hoping the woe that's
frothed under my skin would
vent out along with blood.
I wrote a poem about how i feel when the thoughts get too much x
The deeper I go through the trees the closer I am to begging on my knees it starts with the pine, after drinking a bottle of wine, flashbacks of the setbacks on the days I cant get get up I’m like a weeping willow suffocating in my pillow screaming the thoughts out the fear of the apple dropping from the tree like the pills sliding down my throat you cant see into disfigurement feeling like I just want to float, now those are the trees that I dont want to see I’m handcuffed to the forrest gone and buried the key release me from the thoughts of the deep deep forrest. The seeping juice from the monkey puzzle seeping through my skin #MentalHealthDays #mentalhealthpoetry #Depression
sleep - illusive
no balance can be found
others have all the answers
and judgements too
light shines albeit briefly
sparking hope anew
then shadows shift
light once more gone
people say, why didn’t you hold on to it?
I have no answer
how does one hold the light
that flickers so?
I, at least, do not know