ChronicEmptiness

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

I felt a heaviness inside me this morning that I hadn’t felt in a while. Living at this moment hurts. A lot. All I want is a hug and for someone to say that all would be ok in the end. My calculated way of living has been thrown off kilter, I feel chronically empty and sad. I try to get help in what I see as the “traditional way”, like opening up and talking about my feelings, but sometimes it’s really hard. I even feel worse after opening up most times. (That’s when I do so verbally.) In the last few days, I’ve come to realize that in a very silent way, I am not important enough to be kept in the know for certain important situations. I want to withdraw from the world completely, but I know that that’s not reasonable. In these painful moments, I tend to lean towards wanting to create something out of my pain to distract myself. I want to believe the good that others see in me, but everything seems blurred beyond recognition. In these continual shifts in my life, I feel like I’m drowning. #MentalHealth #Drowning #Heaviness #Thoughtspiral #Hurtsinside #FeelingEmpty #Emptiness #ChronicEmptiness #Sadness

I'm struggling #ChronicEmptiness #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder