chronicinsomnia

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Betrayal #MyCondition

The Mighty One Word Challenge
#MyCondition #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #ConnectiveTissueDisorder #UnknownCTD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Migraines #chronicinsomnia #AndTheListGoesOn

#betrayal

I thought I knew my body. I thought I knew the life we were going to live together. I thought I knew her.

One day, out of the blue, she decided to betray me. Let’s be honest here though, was it really one day? Was it really out of the blue?

Her betrayal came so fast, but there were signs along the way. The inability to sleep is where it all began. For years I have tried many things to get her to sleep, to rest. I’ve tried the melodic crashes of the ocean waves, the thunderous claps of a storm. If it is white noise, her ears have heard them all.

Once she got into the rhythm of not sleeping, she slowly allowed depression to creep its way into our lives. How could she? How dare she? What happened to the keeper of the gate?

Anxiety! Anxiety was no burglar in the night. No! stormed the castle walls. Our defenses were caught off guard and my walls crashed to the ground with ease. Betrayal of the worst kind, leaving the door unlocked for the unsavory to enter in and pillage as it sees fit!

Wait! What’s this now? Why can I not move without pain? Pain so deep that I’m not sure I WANT to move, much less if I CAN move.

Betrayal. Betrayal of the worst kind. She let in all those things that no one else can see. Why? Why did she betray me so much, so many times? I trusted her. I trusted that we would enjoy life and live it to the fullest. What happened to our bond? Our bond that would allow us to play with my son as he grows and gets so active. What happened to the trust? The trust that when I stood, I knew she could take me to the destination of my choosing.

Why? When? How? What? No matter how many times I ask her, even in her silence she continues to betray me.

Betrayal.

1 comment
Post

The Longest Night #MightyPoets

The Longest Night
Sleep; a sneaky little devil

That cares not for his prey,

Eludes the very best of us

Until the light of day.

When dawn starts breaking,

And chirping birds is all that's heard,

Not a wink's been caught,

Insomia: not quite descriptive enough a word

You know the day, it must be faced

You check your tank for fumes,

What's on your list will be a very long race

And you pray you are not doomed.

Oh sleep, oh sleep

Why do you forsake me so?

You know I've always loved you

If you come back to me, I promise

To never let you go.

#chronicinsomnia #chronicillnes #LymeWarrior #ChronicPain

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Reply to @saucyfied

R Wonsang
@saucyfied • an hour ago
#MightyPoets forgot to tag lol

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carrie smith
@carriesmith451 • 19 hours ago
Sleep our best friend and worst enemy. I loved this. May we all get the sleep we need.

Reply 1

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R Wonsang
@saucyfied
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ACTIVITY
Thought
R Wonsang
@saucyfied
Today
Shattered
The glass falls,

Slowly to the floor.

A split second response,

Catch it? Can I? Dare I?

Watching in slow motion,

Fingers slip on the edge.

One tiny piece at a time,

Shatters across the floor.

Stunned reaction,

Shock, disbelief, unreality.

Can I fix it?

It is shattered my dear.

But can I FIX it?!

Slowly putting it back together,

Piece by laborious piece.

Like a puzzle,

This may take some time.

Time? What else have I, but time.

It may never look the same,

But it is whole again.

As whole as it will ever be.

Salvageable, functional, still beautiful,

With scars to show.

#MightyPoets

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Reply to @saucyfied
Thought
R Wonsang
@saucyfied
Yesterday
The Longest Night
Sleep; a sneaky little devil

That cares not for his prey,

Eludes the very best of us

Until the light of day.

When dawn starts breaking,

And chirping birds is all that's heard,

Not a wink's been caught,

Insomia: not quite descriptive enough a word

You know the day, it must be faced

You check your tank for fumes,

What's on your list will be a very long race

And you pray you are not doomed.

Oh sleep, oh sleep

Why do you forsake me so?

You know I've always loved you

If you come back to me, I promise

To never let you go.

#chronicinsomnia #chronicillnes #LymeWarrior #ChronicPain

1 comment
Post

The Longest Night

Sleep; a sneaky little devil

That cares not for his prey,

Eludes the very best of us

Until the light of day.

When dawn starts breaking,

And chirping birds is all that's heard,

Not a wink's been caught,

Insomia: not quite descriptive enough a word

You know the day, it must be faced

You check your tank for fumes,

What's on your list will be a very long race

And you pray you are not doomed.

Oh sleep, oh sleep

Why do you forsake me so?

You know I've always loved you

If you come back to me, I promise

To never let you go.

#chronicinsomnia #chronicillnes #LymeWarrior #ChronicPain

2 comments