Sleep Terrors

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Sleep Terrors
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    Trying something new!

    I have not been sleeping well at all. Thank you insomnia and trauma for that... I get absolutely horrible night terrors. I'm talking waking up in a sweat shaking and screaming. Sleep is scary for me at the moment but I'm trying to change that now. Tonight I'm trying brown noise instead of my music I use to sleep. I read that background noise like that is really good for trauma and anxiety at night. Then I'm also replacing the bright lights on while I sleep to some simple fairy lights above my bed. Nice alternative to the overhead lights when I try to sleep. I'm also implementing a new night routine. Which I will hopefully be able to stick too. Hygiene, comfy clothes, an enjoyable activity that's relaxing, take my night meds, some simple meditation before bed, then it's off to bed. Let's see how this goes. I will be posting an update a few days into it for those who also struggle with trauma and insomnia. Wish me luck! #Trauma #CPTSD #nightterrors #Insomnia #Anxiety #SleepTerrors

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    I Had A Scary “Dream”

    It was 2am, I just said good night to someone and I was feeling sad, of course I am still sad.

    I then drift off, only to be awaken by a weird dream.

    In that “dream” it felt as though I was awake, my eyes were shut, I can see flashing lights, I felt like I’m about to leave my physical body. The lights were still flashing, I couldn’t move, I was trying so hard not to see anything behind those lights despite my eyes being shut.

    And then slowly, the flashing lights slowed down until it finally stopped, couldn’t open my eyes fully, but I can see a glimpse of the room, and then I’m awake with my heart racing.

    What the hell was that?! #SleepTerrors #Nightmares #Depression #Anxiety

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    Let's Get To Know Eachother Part 2

    My mental health: Type 2 Developmental Trauma Profile

    1. Dissociative Identity Disorder w/(??Schizotypal??) [Notes: complicated by CPTSD]

    2. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) [codes: ASD, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, mixed developmental learning Disorder of scholastic skills, and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy (TLE)]

    Detailed Information

    My Current Mental Health history:

    [Key: * = my symptoms/extended symptoms of or my complications of the primary Disorder]

    1. Dissociative Identity Disorder

    Complicated by: Complex PTSD, [ICD code]

    Notes: Additional symptoms include; episodes of mixed mood and affect and conduct Disturbances with Psychotic and manic like features, sleep terrors and sleep walking, complicated Grief Bereavement, polyphobia, Species Disphoria, fugue and various dissociative phenomenon, frybromalgia, and adjustment Difficulties, DID related Schiderian Symptoms

    - I don't have an intellectual impairment, Disorder not due to medical/environmental/birth/genetic complications, and not due to drugs or alcohol (I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs)

    2. Autism Spectrum Disorder

    *Complicated by; Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, mixed developmental learning Disorder of scholastic skills, and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy (TLE)

    Notes: additional information;

    - Level 1 Support needed, current severity is mild, functioning level is moderate to high functioning

    - original diagnosis Congenital Asperger's until DSM and ICD code changes

    - pragmatic and adjustment difficulties

    - Subtype: emotion boy with Autistic Schizotypal features

    - No intellectual impairment, Disorder not due to medical/environmental/birth/genetic complications, and not due to drugs or alcohol (I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs)

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    Well you finally sleep 🖤

    I wanna see what kinda pictures grabs your attention!

    These for me do because it’s a relation, the Demon is finally sleep 🖤 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #finallyasleep #SleepTerrors #SleepDeprivation #demonsasleep #showmesomelove

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    It's 3 in the morning,
    And I can't sleep.

    The clock is ticking,
    And I can't do anything.

    It's getting late and you are not home yet,
    And I keep looking at the stars like they are guiding you home.
    I know I do this every night,
    I either wait for too long or let you go.
    There is no in-between.

    On nights like these,
    When the clock is at 4,
    And my mind is stuck on you,
    I try to imagine you next to me,
    I try to start a movie in my head, where it's you and I, where your hand is on my waist and my lips can't leave your face.

    I try to imagine the way you kiss my body,
    The way I react to your touch.
    It's 5 in the morning,
    And I start to realize that you are not coming home.
    The sun is coming up and I know that you are not coming home.

    It's been a while since I last slept before saying hi to sun,
    It's been a while since I last saw you,
    And I know you are not coming home.

    It's 6 in the morning,
    And now I can try to go to bed,
    Because I just realized that you are not real.

    You are the thing that my mind creates to think you will let us free,
    My mind keeps telling me that on nights like these, you'll come home to save me.
    It's my mind that's been stuck with this monster from ages,
    It's my mind that keeps me up till 7 in the morning,
    In hope of the uninvited monster to leave.
    To be free of its demons because, I can't sleep.

    Oh, look, it's a new and beautiful day,
    The clock on my bedside tells me it's 8,
    And I still can't sleep.

    Maybe, I will see you tomorrow at 3,
    Maybe then, I can finally go to sleep.

    -Sakshi Vij

    #MightyPoets #Depression #SleepTerrors #lonely #MentalHealth #Poetry

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    Sleep Paralysis Experience

    I have nightmares quite often where I dream about things I am often worried about like someone dying, car accidents and getting fired from work. But the other night I had one of the most frightening experiences with sleep paralysis. I have experienced it before but never to this extent.

    It started with a dream that I was climbing across this blue pole which was really high up. Part way across I realised I had taken the wrong route and should have climbed across the red pole instead. Random, I know 😂.

    Suddenly, I fell off and started sinking into darkness. By this point I was awake but I was completely paralysed. I couldn't open my eyes and I tried really hard to move but couldn't move my body at all. I started seeing all these swirly shapes which were hallucinations and I felt like this dark figure was over me pinning me to my bed. I have never been so terrified.

    My heart was going so fast and I felt like I was being suffocated so I was gasping for air. I tried so hard to scream but nothing was happening. I eventually managed to start speaking out loud muttering whatever I could think of to wake myself up from sleep paralysis and that's when I could finally open my eyes.

    I have never had an experience so scary with sleep paralysis before. I was too scared to go back to sleep for a while in case it happened again. Usually I can wake myself up really quickly but I felt really trapped and couldn't move for a good few minutes. I am wondering if with all the things going on in the world, I am getting a lot of anxiety which may have caused this 😬. Wondering if anyone else has ever had an experience like this? 😳

    #SleepTerrors #sleepparalysis #Sleep #Anxiety

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    sleep anxiety

    almost every night as I’m falling asleep or very shortly after I fall asleep, my body starts to panic and my heart starts racing and I have to jolt out of my sleep to get out of it. it’s absolutely awful especially when I’m groggy and then it magnifies every sense of panic. plus it adds on the anxiety of whether or not it’s gonna happen each night and then that inevitably causes a panic attack anyway. has anyone else experienced this? #Anxiety #Insomnia #SleepTerrors

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    #Depression #Loneliness #SleepDeprivation #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SleepTerrors

    I was feeling a bit nostalgic so I decided to watch elm street 3. This is a quote by Edgar Poe when the movie starts and it cut me deep because it’s only now that I notice that this quote and the movie itself resonates with my situation. Come to think of it it’s probably why I love these elm street movies...