musician

Hi, my name is WhatisHome44. I'm here because I feel like my life is over due to my chronic illness, my childhood/current trauma, and my deteriorating body. Because of this, everything I’ve spent my life working toward has fallen apart. And I have no way to make it any better. I’m 34. I’m losing weight astronomically fast. I have an illness that is exacerbated by stress, and there are people in my life who go out of their way to cause me stress. I don’t have a family physician. I’ve been bounced around from nurse practitioner to nurse practitioner, and am in a horrible situation at a private clinic. I’m losing all of my savings and these private clinics are cleaning me out. I didn’t have much to begin with. I cannot afford food. My wife works every single day and I work 5 days out of the week from home. I’m a musician/composer/audio engineer, but I’ve been struggling to hold my instruments. I’m losing mobility in my arms and legs. My brain is not functioning correctly, and I haven’t slept longer than 4-5 hours in over a year. I’m so tired. It’s so hard to work and even harder to function. I have no pain control. And I’m eligible for M.A.I.D in my country. I am trying to hold on. But am ready to exit. This was quite long but barely scratched the surface. I apologize for the heavy subject matter.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Migraine #Fibromyalgia #PTSD #EatingDisorder #OCD #Grief #RheumatoidArthritis #SystemicLupus #reactivearthritis #NeurologicalDisorder #musician #Burden #PanicDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #nightterrors #SleepTerrors #ChronicFatigue #ChronicPain #chronicinsomnia #Insomnia

Lately I've been having difficulty with a lot of things due to pain and instability in my finger joints. I'm struggling to stay on top of my schoolwork because it hurts to write for long periods of time, and as a physics student I have to do a lot of pencil-and-paper work so typing isn't an option. I can't practice violin very much either, which is slowing my progress in lessons and disappointing my teacher. And I can't knit for long periods, which is frustrating since it's a new-ish skill for me (started about a year ago) and I want to be able to get good at it. Does anyone have things they do that help with hand issues? I just want to do my normal activities without getting aches in my fingers or worrying that my thumb is going to sublux (which I don't think it has, but sometimes it feels like it really wants to!!)

#EhlersDanlosSyndrome #hypermobilityspectrumdisorder #Jointpain #Accommodations #musician #Knitter

Sleeping bc of nightmares from movie and no power in house plus flu shot 2 days ago thrown me off woke up at 915 am usually up at 730 so yeah it’s a rough day
#PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Fibromyaliga #FibromyalgiaDiagnosis #Flareup #Upallnight #Chatspace #Perimenopause #PTSD #CPTSD #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlineStigma #ADHD #DBT #PCOSAwarenessMonth #Aspergers #MightyQuestions #MightyTogether #COVID19 #wearamask #MightyBookClub #Movies #Reading #Love #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #DatingWithAChronicIllness #AspergersSyndrome #BipolarStrong #Happiness #volunteering #Yoga ###PT #Art #Music #musician #Grief #Sadness with everything I’m going thru plus today’s 11 years ago my grandfather passed away it’s a hard day.

I’m Jenilee and I’ve been playing bass for twenty years in a bunch of different genres : rock bluegrass jazz and classical. I was a classical bass performance major in college and now I’m still in the local symphony. I love listening to music and thinking about the experiences I’ve had playing but every time symphony week comes around I get serious anxiety. I feel like I’m terrible at playing and have an emotional breakdown, last night I came home crying and throwing shit around and thinking maybe if I threw myself down the stairs or drove into oncoming traffic I wouldn’t have to play the concert. It affects my relationship with my boyfriend : he says oh this happens every time and everything turns out ok. but I don’t want to live like this anymore. he says this is an insult to him and there’s nothing more he can say or do to help. he said he’s sick of having to reassure me every two or three days. does this sound healthy? I’ve just been playing so long...I don’t know if I could bring myself to quit although I’ve thought about it many times...

I get through the day with music.

I'm a professional musician that owns a music school. I teach trumpet, piano, french horn and saxophone. If it wasn't for music I don't know what I would do.

#Music #musician #Arthritis