closure

My recent ex of two months, the one who dropped me off at home and completely ghosted me. Left me, blocked me on literally everything. But on Thursday, April 30th, 2020 I got my closure finally! I deserved answers and I was determined to get them. On thing he hadn’t blocked me on was the xbox app. I asked him “Why did you break up with me? And not tell me why.” He responded “Because Kaitlyn you made me feel like I wasn’t doing good enough and not giving you enough attention.” I told him “Really? That’s why?”, I didn’t deserve for it to end like this.” He goes on to say that he didn’t want to end it but look where we are. I made sure that he knew that this was all his choice and I apparently had no say in it. I also reminded him that he promised me that he wouldn’t of done this, but he did it anyway. He then goes on to tell me how I don’t want to change either. His exact words were, “You don’t want to get a job or a license, hell I could barely get you to go into a store.” But he is 💯% wrong!! I do want to get a job and to also get my driver’s license but it’s kinda hard because of this whole pandemic thing. Am I right? And with the whole he could “barely” get me into a store, you give a person with anxiety and you put them in an anxiety provoking atmosphere of course their not going to want to go. Or even in a place where the person isn’t the most familiar with and especially in a Walmart with restrictions regarding the pandemic (100 people in store at a time), standing in line (which I have no issues with). The only issue I have is trying to explain to someone why you don’t want to do something or don’t want to go into a place, etc. Its difficult and when I did with him I cried because he didn’t understand it, clearly 🙄. But, now that I am home I’ve gone into plenty of stores, stood in lines, all while wearing my mask of course. I made it clear to him that I felt emotionally abused by him and that I didn’t understand why he had to go about this the way he did, blocking me and all. But you wanna know his response...”Go ahead and play victim.” Like really. I responded back to him this “There’s no victim I’m playing a hurt human being who didn’t deserve to be treated like this. Just like there’s no real man here.” And left it at that. Man was I hurt and still am but at least I have stopped crying. So nows the time to let the healing begin! ✨💙✨ #Breakups #Greiving #movingon #closure #hisloss #ideservebetter

In a world of niceties and political correctness the thought that closure may not always be possible seems to be the equilivant of blasphemy and calling someone’s baby ugly. We are a society that wants to believe that every story has a “happily ever after” ending and certainly good always wins over evil. I hate to tell you folks but thats just not the case. Sometimes the evil is very evil and more often that not it goes unpunished… at least here on this earth. In my 45 years of existence I seem to be learning life lessons daily. One of the big lessons is that closure is a scam. I know this goes against the grain of normal thinking but sometimes you need to burn that bridge if for no other reason than to be sure there is not a trace of connection left. After all bridges are to connect and the last thing you want is to have the crazies following you on your journey to peace. I know this seems harsh and maybe even a little comical but this is where life lesson number 2 comes in.

Life lesson #2 – Protect your mental and emotional sanity above the desire to be a peacekeeper. If you have flown recently you are likely familiar with the pre-takeoff safety drill that instructs passengers that in the event of an emergency, place your own oxygen mask over your face before attempting to assist the person next to you. There is a reason for that my friend…. if your mental, emotional and spiritual self is not in a place of wholeness and health you will not be equipped to help someone else heal. This wounded environment is not conducive to any type of closure. Often when seeking closure with another party we are really seeking the ending that makes us feel better. We want everyone in agreement and we all go on to live happily ever after. This ushers in life lesson #3 ….

Life lesson #3 – The truth doesn’t matter to those that don’t care. If living a life of morality and truth is not a priority it goes without saying that when confronted with the truth it will have no impact. Sometimes the other party doesn’t want closure…. sometimes they are so narcissistic and self consumed that they can’t see past themselves and their desire to be “right”. Sometimes people are so encompassed by evil that they find pleasure in the emotional torment of others. Those that want to be part of your life will find the time, they will bring value to your life and they will make you a stronger and better version of yourself. Don’t settle for a life of community with people that cause you pain, insecurity or hurt. Life is hard but life is also exquisitely beautiful. Every day given to us is as a precious gift full of experiences and opportunities. If you study the small print you will see that life has an expiration date. Don’t waste your gift of time on people that wont fight for you in public and defend you in your absence. Don’t chase the people that haven’t chased you. Surround yourself with people that speak life and pour into you…. You will never regret this decision. #Depression #Anxiety #LifeLessons #NarcissisticAbuse #closure #FamilyAndFriends #Relationships #MentalHealth #MentalHealth