movingon

My oldest daughter died this month..She died in my mind, because she acts as though we were dead to her. I don’t wish her harm. I’ll still pray for her..but I don’t like living with the deep hurt.

“She died,”might be easier to accept? She has Stage 4 Metastatic Cancer and is now on year 4 and in a NED for a year. I tried to reconcile with her, but apparently there is no give with her and she can not meet me halfway. She never said why she alienated us. We were friends, we were her parents.

I know that she isn’t good for my mental health. It will take some time to move on from this figurative death. I’ve been grieving for sometime at the thought of losing her to actual death..To an anticipatory death, instead of an ambiguous loss or grief. I wonder if it’s that far from actually accepting that she’s gone? Most likely, we’ll never talk again, and that I might not see her again in this life.

Some people might not accept or understand this as grief. It’s very lonely, because those around me can make me feel isolated. They don’t give me permission to grieve because they don’t wish to acknowledge it. I give myself permission to grieve the loss..#ComplicatedGrief #Grief #PTSD #Depression #MentalHealth #movingon

I saw this tonight and it speaks volumes to me. It’s motivational and positive in its message. It’s for those of us who have held onto the past,and the person we use to be. Sometimes memories hold us too much to the past, or we’ve been rooted in the past, and feel stagnant. We’re always growing and changing though, and hopefully becoming the better, the best versions, of ourselves. The #future is at hand my friends #TheMighty #change happens, #Motivation #Positivity #movingon #letgo of the past, #learn what we need to from whatever we’ve been through, and level up for the future..

#GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #anxiousthoughts #obsessivethoughts #overthinking #movingforward #movingon #Journal #journalprompts #clarity #PeaceOfMind

This is me. I am 16, a #libra , I live in California. I am part of the #LGBTQAI community (#queer #demigirl ), I have #Depression #Anxiety , and #BipolarDisorder I went through #Abuse for 5 years (sexual, physical, mental & emotional) I am now making it so that I can have my life back. I used to say that the abuse was my story...no. It is a crumby little chapter of my story. My life is #mystory and I'm going to scream my story! Because I love me...#Scars and all

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Can you put a part of your story that you're not proud of/happy about? Saying it out loud (or typing it) does in fact help...I #Promise

I’m leaving residential in 2-3 weeks. I’m sad this time is ending. It was amazing. I was surrounded by people I love, who love me. I was doing hard work to heal AND having fun. Now some people have left, and others are leaving soon, and I’ll be leaving. This amazing chapter in my life is ending and I don’t want it to. I want to stay here with everyone. I want to keep being surrounded by the people who love me and keep me safe and hug me.

I’m literally grieving that this time is ending. I’m scared I won’t be loved like this again. Surrounded by love and support, laughter and fun. I won’t be able to get a hug when I’m sad.

The loneliness that is always piercing my heart and soul was gone for a moment and it felt amazing. I don’t want to go back to feeling that intense loneliness and emptiness ALL THE TIME. I don’t want to leave these people. I don’t want to feel awful all the time, again.

I’m scared to go back and drown in my pain all alone, again.
I need these people.
I need them near me.

I’ll still have the residents, but I can’t talk to the staff for 2 years. I need them. What if they don’t care anymore in 2 years? What if they forget me?

I don’t want to be without the amazing people here I’ve grown to love, and who love me. And I KNOW they love me. That’s huge.

My case manager says I will find new people. That I didn’t expect to find and love these ones. But no one else will compare to how close we all got and how amazing they all are.

I don’t want this chapter in my life to close, yet.
I’m sad.

#ResidentialTreatment #Residential #Friendship #Depression #growth #movingon #change #Anxiety #Fear #grieving

This is me. I am 15, a #libra , I live in California. I am part of the #LGBTQAI community, I have #Depression , #Anxiety , and #BipolarDisorder . I went through #Abuse for 5 years (sexual, physical, mental & emotional) and am now making it so that I can have my life back. I used to say that the abuse was my story...no. It is a crumby little chapter of my story/book. My life is #mystory and I am going to scream my story! Because I love me...#Scars and all❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Letting go of something may not always be a “walk in the park” so to speak, and that’s OK. How you manage that, however, is what matters. What are your go-to coping strategies for when you need to move on from something and it’s a bit difficult? Maybe you talk to a friend about it or another trusted person in your life. Or maybe you journal about it. Let us know!

#MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Disability #Parenting #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Depression #Trauma #PTSD #ChronicPain #Migraine #Autism #AutoimmuneDisease #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #DistractMe #CheckInWithMe #Selfcare #movingon #LetItGo