Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

I'm really struggling and just needed a place to say it.

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Synesthesia (si-nuh-stee-zhuh) – A neurological phenomenon where the senses cross-wire in beautiful ways. Letters and words triggering colors is one of the most common forms, which is called grapheme-color synesthesia. But it can extend to textures, tastes, even spatial arrangements. Some people experience music as color. Others taste shapes. Poets and artists seem to have it at higher rates than the general population, which makes a certain intuitive sense. It suggests a mind where the boundaries between things are more permeable than usual. What are your thoughts? Do you experience synesthesia?

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Saudade (sow-DAH-day) - A Portuguese word which describes a deep, bittersweet emotional state of longing for something or someone beloved that is distant, lost, or perhaps never truly possessed. It's accompanied by the knowledge that what is longed for may never return, and yet finding a strange, melancholy beauty in the feeling itself. It is grief that has made peace with itself, but not quite let go. This resonates deeply with me. What are your thoughts?

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Solivagant - wandering alone, or a person who does so. It comes from the Latin solus (alone) and vagans (wandering, roaming). There's something beautiful about the fact that this specific experience of solitary wandering, not lonely but intentionally alone in motion, warranted its own word. It implies a kind of quiet purpose to it, a chosen aloneness rather than an imposed one.

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