Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

I was taken offline and now my original writings are https://gone.Four years of my memories, my private thoughts and https://diaries.Who does that? Oh, yes, https://her.Nine years ago, I made a promise and I am grateful for having known myself enough,to be able to recognize my problems and address them.it is frustrating that the people I thought I knew, cannot or will not communicate or follow through with https://me.I had relationships, as an adult, concenting, grown adult age.And? He, has dozens, I never knew https://of.I did not hate or cause his families problems.They, are, the https://problem.Telling people Im crazy,sleeping around and stealing stuff? That Im abusive when he phased me out, years https://ago.What the hell? I sold an appliance and my ring, out of panick, at my https://worst.My heart is broken, my son knows things he never should of known and someone is dying from https://lying.Its sad, for nothing and https://cruel.I am not that and I will not engage.

I was taken offline and now my original writings are https://gone.Four years of my memories, my private thoughts and https://diaries.Who does that? Oh, yes, https://her.Nine years ago, I made a promise and I am grateful for having known myself enough,to be able to recognize my problems and address them.it is frustrating that the people I thought I knew, cannot or will not communicate or follow through with https://me.I had relationships, as an adult, concenting, grown adult age.And? He, has dozens, I never knew https://of.I did not hate or cause his families problems.They, are, the https://problem.Telling people Im crazy,sleeping around and stealing stuff? That Im abusive when he phased me out, years https://ago.What the hell? I sold an appliance and my ring, out of panick, at my https://worst.My heart is broken, my son knows things he never should of known and someone is dying from https://lying.Its sad, for nothing and https://cruel.I am not that and I will not engage.

This morning was busy. I went crochery shopping. My husband took the car for wax shopping; honey season is just around the cornor.
The afternoon I'm at home on my own. My husband is at work - a workshop about time management.
Being on my own feels heavy.
These days I'm dealing with selfharm intensions a lot.
This on/off contact leaves me pretty insecure. Much space for fear to consume my mind.
It's beyond challanging to build containment on top of that old trauma fear.

I made it successfully through the day. (It's already evening in Germany.)

This morning was busy. I went crochery shopping. My husband took the car for wax shopping; honey season is just around the cornor.
The afternoon I'm at home on my own. My husband is at work - a workshop about time management.
Being on my own feels heavy.
These days I'm dealing with selfharm intensions a lot.
This on/off contact leaves me pretty insecure. Much space for fear to consume my mind.
It's beyond challanging to build containment on top of that old trauma fear.

I made it successfully through the day. (It's already evening in Germany.)