I suck at it !!
I have come to the conclusion...revelation rather, that I suck at living, I just can’t get it right. I’m always scared at being happy because the happier I am the harder I fall ... and boy do I fall hard ... I fall so hard that I want to crawl out of myself...”escape” myself and hover over my body and get the relief that it’s over- thank God! I get anxiety and sometimes a bit terrified when I realize I’m laughing out loud or happy... so I go back to my shell hoping the happiness police didn’t see me 😔... I don’t think I’ve ever gotten it right, I just suck at living, some people suck at painting or being Presidents, and the one thing I’m certain I suck at is living/being alive... I’m anxious every day and take deep breaths like I’m not getting enough oxygen or as if they’ll be a shortage soon and the more I inhale I get a feeling that I’m inhaling the one thing I suck at -live...I’m sad, I really am... I’m also tired, I feel like I can’t do anything right, I’m so tired, I’m emotionally exhausted, I can’t hide in this shell forever because live requires me to live, it demands it continuously... the irony 😂 ... it’s like life is just mocking me while it watches me curl into a ball and the waterfall begins... #Anxiety #sad #Life #TheSecretLifeOfTheManicDepressive #DepressionAndBipolarSupportAlliance