DepressionRecovery

I'm thinking about somehow getting a tattoo like this on my right wrist but my right arm is not that mobile because of my brain injury. What do you think? #tattooidea #Scars #Depression

Hi everyone, I wanted to share a piece I had written a few months ago about my struggle with #Depression .

Searching in the dark
Hungry, aching, hoping, wondering
Will I ever see the sun again?
WIll I ever know the wonder and joy I once had again?
Or is it lost...to the dark?
Am I trapped here,
Alone, fragile, breaking, my heart aching
Thirsting for the truth to set me free
And wondering what I did wrong
Did I mess up again?
Is this my fault?
Why do I feel so alone?
Why do I feel so...alone?
Soon the dark gets so deep, so beyond description
That I am left with no sadness, no hurt.
Nothing. I am nothing and there is nothing in me.
Empty, numb, hollow.
My mask slips when I smile;
How can I even smile, anyways?
Why bother?
The world is full of empty smiles,
Empty promises of hopes dashed to the rocks.
And when my mask starts to slip
I see the cracks in the smiles around me.
That “how are you”/”oh, I’m fine” exchange
It’s all a lie
No one is fine
Not many of us anyways
Why do we all lie and isolate ourselves?
Why do we make ourselves feel more alone
When the loneliness is all too consuming?
Instead, I am alone, and you are alone.
Empty vessels passing each other in the night,
Hurting, hoping, but silent
What am I afraid of?
It keeps me silent.
Is it the stigma?
The sheer exhaustion of fighting?
Is it the questions I’ll be asked if I tell the truth?
Regardless, it steals my voice again
Sending me to sleep with a heavy heart

God, do you hear me?
Do my prayers reach your ears, or simply echo against the walls?
I don’t want to be alone.
I never wanted to be alone.
Sick, aching heart
Tears flowing until they flow no more.
I don’t want to be alone.
Jesus, I don’t want to be alone.

You are not alone, you remind me gently.
Dear one, you have never been alone.
Come rest in my arms
And the darkness will flee.

I run to you, Jesus, full-forced,
Like a frail child, unashamed of how weak I am
Not hiding behind that broken mask
Not lying to myself
Not shoving down my pain any longer
I run into your arms, Jesus
And I never let go.

#DepressiveDisorders #DepressionRecovery #WritingThroughIt

I find that gardening helps me when I fell depressed

Went for a swim, my favorite thing to do in the summer. Makes me happy or at least peaceful.