Took a moment to educated a rude ass lady at the checkout today. “Ugh, you get government assistance?” I was using my insurance benefit card on over-the-counter medications. I told her, “damn lady you don’t even know me!” She death stared at me. Then said, “they’ll just give benefits to anyone.”
Anger setting in.
Educate or walk away?
Educate. “Actually… ma’am. As far as my disability, not that it’s any of your business, it’s for Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from an attempted murder and sexual assaults. I fight constantly against my own intrusive thoughts. Every 3 years they rediscuss my need for it. In 6years, thankfully, they still see my need for disability. Twice a year I have to account for dollars spent. Meanwhile, fighting for a will to live, nightmares, triggers, surviving scars and surgeries, doctors appointments, fight psych on putting me in inpatient, messages every time they move the bastard that did all this, and tirelessly explain to assholes that don’t understand like you. So have a nice day and stop judging books by a cover.”
I’m so tired of not living but surviving. People have a lot of nerve talking to anyone like that. I just wasn’t feeling it today. Typically I walk away. It happened much more when I’d have Romeo (ptsd service dog) with me. I’m still withdrawing and feeling high on these new medications.
After I got to my car, I just lost it. I was bawling. Took awhile to even come off it.
Just be kind.
Hi, my name is Justin. I’m here because I believe this is my calling. I’ve been told that “if I just had more Justin’s in my life ” I would be great! So I’m here to make a positive impact on someone’s life. To hopefully have more Justin’s in this world.
And so it's another night of as soon as little ones are down after feeling exhausted and dying to go to bed all day, I am now there and the little things in my head start going faster and faster ,start seeming larger and much more important than some of them actually are.Start thinking of every little mistake or worry or issue I have endured and then feeling worried ,or more anxious or guilty....... Have so much else going on right now and really just hoping to try and have few hours sleep without any sleep paralysis , waking up in sweats or tears , at that point where I really do just wish there was an on/off button for your head even though I tell myself this and know its all ridiculous something else just pops in !!
I can't even focus on my meditation or sleep hypnosis videos which usually do help !!!!!
So today I had my appointment at dermatology, haven't been I a while due to long covid and all the other struggles it's left me with. I have had over 30 biopsy surgeries and today had to get another three done . The pain is really start to kick in now .Then it's the dreaded wait to see if its came back when I get my results.Trying not to let me head get too much Into it justnow as I really don't think I can handle that again On top of everything else body is already so weak and struggling and now have to deal with these new scars healing and as they're on my leg back and stomach it's so awkward especially having to try get on with the little ones.
Really feeling it tonight .
This is me. I am 16, a #libra , I live in California. I am part of the #LGBTQAI community (#queer #demigirl ), I have #Depression #Anxiety , and #BipolarDisorder I went through #Abuse for 5 years (sexual, physical, mental & emotional) I am now making it so that I can have my life back. I used to say that the abuse was my story...no. It is a crumby little chapter of my story. My life is #mystory and I'm going to scream my story! Because I love me...#Scars and all
Can you put a part of your story that you're not proud of/happy about? Saying it out loud (or typing it) does in fact help...I #Promise
I have been battling in my mind the lash I received from someone I thought a friend. I am the one that should be Angry from the Hurtful toxic things they said to me without any regard for my feelings. #hurting
From my self assessment, I have been fighting toxic relationships my entire life. I just get so frustrated and tired of fighting them alone.
I miss the closeness I had with My Mom. She was the only one who really understood me and I don't understand why people always seem to Hurt me. I know I deserve happiness too but loosing hope I will ever have it
This is me. I am 15, a #libra , I live in California. I am part of the #LGBTQAI community, I have #Depression , #Anxiety , and #BipolarDisorder . I went through #Abuse for 5 years (sexual, physical, mental & emotional) and am now making it so that I can have my life back. I used to say that the abuse was my story...no. It is a crumby little chapter of my story/book. My life is #mystory and I am going to scream my story! Because I love me...#Scars and all❤️🧡💛💚💙💜