scars

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    I may look healthy enough, but I have wounds and scars you can't see. When I warn people of my "issues", they look at me and dismiss or minimize them. They think because I look healthy that they can't be all that bad. That is because to the naked eye, they are invisible. When people encounter me and I begin to value our interactions and relationships, that's when my invisible "issues" become visible. That is when they realize that what I warned them about is true. That is when they begin to distance themselves from me. And, eventually, that is when they walk away from me. Unfortunately this compounds my "issues" and causes them to become even more debilitating. It reopens wounds and continues a cycle of victimization, thus making me "sicker". This is the nature of my invisible trauma which, after repeated cycles, has morphed into mood disorders and finally a personality disorder. It has gone from me having "mental issues" to a complicated mental illness. Just because you can't see my wounds, scars, trauma, and illness, it doesn't mean they aren't there. It's time we put faces to these illnesses so that others can see that not all illnesses are readily apparent. Perhaps then we can change the perspective of what mental illness really looks like. #MentalHealth #MentalIllness #Trauma #wounds #Scars #invisible #InvisibleIllness

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    Powerless

    I recently joined 'reddit' and posted a comment on a self harm scar. My comment was insensitive and I will not repeat it here. It was the reply that I received which really opened my eyes to my own trauma.

    The reply from the "redditor" was "I am sorry you are feeling powerless over your own body". I never thought about it this way. I know one thing for sure. The trauma took something away from me that day. It took my confidence and my care free attitude and left a bitter taste in my mouth.

    I want that happy go lucky kid back. The other side of the argument is finally growing up and entering the 'real world'. It could be a combination of both although I consider it was mostly my poor decisions catching up with me.

    12 long years have passed since I was assaulted and time has done little to heal the pain. I am just as angry and grief stricken as the day the incident occurred. I was not in control of the situation and maybe this is why I feel the way that I do?

    Revenge plays on my mind a lot and I catch myself drifting in and out of seeking vengeance. I have medication which temporarily assists in levelling my emotions and focusing on the here and now.

    My mind will play tricks on me from time to time; starting me off on a road of revenge only to lead me to grief and misery. I am of the belief that revenge will do little to heal my pain as the damage has well and truly been done.

    #power #powerless #MightyTogether #TheMighty #Friends #foes #Love #hate #betrayal #Depression #ChronicFatigue #PTSD #Pain #suffering #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Scars #Trauma #Revenge #rut #despair #hopelessness #self #Selfesteem #Confidence #Happiness #Hope #pleasure #Healing #Recovery #Addiction #selfmedicate #Hope #Emotion #CPTSD #Grief #Survivor

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    Winning at self checkout

    Took a moment to educated a rude ass lady at the checkout today. “Ugh, you get government assistance?” I was using my insurance benefit card on over-the-counter medications. I told her, “damn lady you don’t even know me!” She death stared at me. Then said, “they’ll just give benefits to anyone.”
    Anger setting in.
    Educate or walk away?
    Educate. “Actually… ma’am. As far as my disability, not that it’s any of your business, it’s for Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from an attempted murder and sexual assaults. I fight constantly against my own intrusive thoughts. Every 3 years they rediscuss my need for it. In 6years, thankfully, they still see my need for disability. Twice a year I have to account for dollars spent. Meanwhile, fighting for a will to live, nightmares, triggers, surviving scars and surgeries, doctors appointments, fight psych on putting me in inpatient, messages every time they move the bastard that did all this, and tirelessly explain to assholes that don’t understand like you. So have a nice day and stop judging books by a cover.”
    I’m so tired of not living but surviving. People have a lot of nerve talking to anyone like that. I just wasn’t feeling it today. Typically I walk away. It happened much more when I’d have Romeo (ptsd service dog) with me. I’m still withdrawing and feeling high on these new medications.
    After I got to my car, I just lost it. I was bawling. Took awhile to even come off it.

    Just be kind.

    #SexualAssault #CPTSD #Survivor #Scars

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    I'm new here!

    Hi, my name is Justin. I’m here because I believe this is my calling. I’ve been told that “if I just had more Justin’s in my life ” I would be great! So I’m here to make a positive impact on someone’s life. To hopefully have more Justin’s in this world.

    #MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #Migraine #ADHD #Grief #Scars #PersonalityDisorders

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    Wish there was an on/off button at nights ... #COVID19 #longcovid #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #MentalHealth #Insomnia #Upallnight

    And so it's another night of as soon as little ones are down after feeling exhausted and dying to go to bed all day, I am now there and the little things in my head start going faster and faster ,start seeming larger and much more important than some of them actually are.Start thinking of every little mistake or worry or issue I have endured and then feeling worried ,or more anxious or guilty....... Have so much else going on right now and really just hoping to try and have few hours sleep without any sleep paralysis , waking up in sweats or tears , at that point where I really do just wish there was an on/off button for your head even though I tell myself this and know its all ridiculous something else just pops in !!

    I can't even focus on my meditation or sleep hypnosis videos which usually do help !!!!!

    #COVID19 #Anxiety #Depression #CheckInWithMe #Selfcare #SkinCancer #MentalHealth #youmatter #loveyourself #Insomnia #Endometriosis #AloneTogether #Scars #Abuse #Behind #longcovid #Upallnight

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    Feeling really overwhelmed... #SkinCancer #melanoma #COVID19 #longcovid #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth

    So today I had my appointment at dermatology, haven't been I a while due to long covid and all the other struggles it's left me with. I have had over 30 biopsy surgeries and today had to get another three done . The pain is really start to kick in now .Then it's the dreaded wait to see if its came back when I get my results.Trying not to let me head get too much Into it justnow as I really don't think I can handle that again On top of everything else body is already so weak and struggling and now have to deal with these new scars healing and as they're on my leg back and stomach it's so awkward especially having to try get on with the little ones.
    Really feeling it tonight .

    #skincarer #melanoma #COVID19 #longcovid #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #Insomnia #Scars #CheckInWithMe #Bekind #loveyourself #Selfcare

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    This is me #movingon #iloveme #loveyourself #igotthis

    This is me. I am 16, a #libra , I live in California. I am part of the #LGBTQAI community (#queer #demigirl ), I have #Depression #Anxiety , and #BipolarDisorder I went through #Abuse for 5 years (sexual, physical, mental & emotional) I am now making it so that I can have my life back. I used to say that the abuse was my story...no. It is a crumby little chapter of my story. My life is #mystory and I'm going to scream my story! Because I love me...#Scars and all

    ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

    Can you put a part of your story that you're not proud of/happy about? Saying it out loud (or typing it) does in fact help...I #Promise

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    Survivor #DepressionRecovery

    I'm thinking about somehow getting a tattoo like this on my right wrist but my right arm is not that mobile because of my brain injury. What do you think? #tattooidea #Scars #Depression

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    #feelinglonely #praying

    I have been battling in my mind the lash I received from someone I thought a friend. I am the one that should be Angry from the Hurtful toxic things they said to me without any regard for my feelings. #hurting
    From my self assessment, I have been fighting toxic relationships my entire life. I just get so frustrated and tired of fighting them alone.
    #heartbreak
    I miss the closeness I had with My Mom. She was the only one who really understood me and I don't understand why people always seem to Hurt me. I know I deserve happiness too but loosing hope I will ever have it
    #GODPleasehearmyPrayer
    #Scars