Eating Disorders

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Mnort. I'm here because well where do I begin . Mostly I’m here for my migraine journey and need help there , but as I’m seeing this group can also with other areas of my journey and it’s struggles

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Migraine #ADHD #EatingDisorder

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Mnort. I'm here because well where do I begin . Mostly I’m here for my migraine journey and need help there , but as I’m seeing this group can also with other areas of my journey and it’s struggles

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Migraine #ADHD #EatingDisorder

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Is that the answer?

Warning : sexual assault and self harm
Whatever happened before should not explain things, but every story has 2 sides.
I was married, trapped really, we had kids.
He constantly, CONSTANTLY, would put me down: a festival of screams, melt-downs, and I was -on his eyes- a worthless piece of shit.
That's how I felt.
Revenge is a horrible thing, but I used to love that man; maybe he used to love the person he wished I was. I developed a eating disorder, obsessed with my look, controling every gram of sugar. To be honest, he thought it was funny! He said I would give up. He also made a point in comment -before the weight loss "how fat my arm was", that I should cover it (my weak spot).
I then decided to navigate the dark Waters of affairs: affairs, there was no one special, I just wanted to be special. I believe I told that before.
After he discovered it, he had more leverage on me than ever.
It happened in the kitchen, my kids playing by my window, in the back yard. And I couldn't fight "the kids!".
True to be told, I forgot all about it. Funny right? Then today my therapist asked me about sex life with my partner. He told me how can you rant about your job and refuse to talk about you sex life -there is no sex, my partner did something joking that triggered it badly!
Still, I could not put and two together. It is so easy to talk about my asshole supervisor (he is not really that), how he did humiliate me this week .. still I could not open that other lid.
Therapy was over: one hour later I remember the full thing, the tears, the silence, the fear of loosing my kids.
After years I'm friends my ex, I did bring the worst on him, what I did was awful too, and a violation of his position as husband. Still, oh my gosh, that memory brought me to tears. All came back, so much more than that....
#SexualViolence #PTSD

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