Feelingabandoned

People always leave. And that make me feel so drained. Can people just stay? I can't bear another feeling having people abandon me again. #Feelingabandoned #FearOfAbandonment #abandonment

Another confession: so the guy I’ve always had feelings for at work started talking to this girl who he was involved with a year ago and I saw them leave together. At that point I no longer wanted to go back to work and I had suicidal thoughts. I spent almonds an hour crying in the shower when I got home. This is the same morning my mom picked me up from work. My anxiety ran high and I tried very hard to not cry and I literally felt like someone lit my skin on fire. After crying it out, I felt so numb. My first resolve was to back off completely from him, to avoid him completely. I feel that being distance won’t be a big deal because eleven though I knew he cares about me, this is t the first time I’ve felt abandoned by him. He doesn’t need me in anyway anyhow. #MentalHealth #Depression #triggered #Feelingabandoned

It's hard for me to convince myself that someone truely cares about me. I know they do, but in my mind, I either question them or I think they are lying. I didn't want someone to leave me, I did what I could for them not to leave, but they did anyway. Now after all the anger and frustration, I decided to push them away. Avoid them completely because I felt that I was not enough, they really didn't care about me, and that everything was a lie. I had been abandoned all over again. They ended up coming back even though I've been asking God to help me to let them go, but for some reason I can't. I don't see it as a sign or some blessing in disguise. It only makes me more afraid, more unsure, and all the more ready to run again. #MentalHealth #Depression #pushingpeopleaway #Feelingabandoned #Notenough #NoOneCaresAboutMe

The other night at work, my coworker and I were talking about all that’s been happening in the world and it ended up with the subject of our mental well-being. He allowed me to tell him my whole rundown of the last few months of what’s been going on with me and it lead to a nice conversation. He opened up too about his past experiences with wanting to have someone who could be a listening ear and because of his experiences, it made him want to be of assistance to anyone who felt like they didn’t matter or no longer wanted to be alive. It was a total relief to talk about it because all of this has been sitting inside me while I’m at work and all they’ve seen is me being happy and jovial, but when I leave from there, sometimes I implode in the worst way. I have another coworker whom I’m forever in an emotional push and pull. I like the guy, but there are times that I have quickly devalued him because of the things he has done. I’ve even had moments when I’ve hated him when earlier I had admired him. He is a good person, but I find that I want to push him away sometimes. I’ve even been praying to avoid him most times, but he seems to be popping up more than before. We use to talk a lot, but when he started hanging out with the others, I would see him less and less. He didn’t say much to me for a while. And that put me in a tailspin because I felt like I had been abandoned by him. I don’t expect anything to come out of this at all, and even now, I’ll try to avoid him and he’s there either staring in my direction or he has something to say. I know that I can’t handle anything serious with my poor mental health and for that, I feel like I would only bring another person hell if they ever got close enough. #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Depression #devalue #Admire #Relationships #relationshipsarehard #openup #Openingup #openingupfinally #pushingpeopleaway #Feelingabandoned #ImListening

Things got dark again, and by dark it got to the point where I was asking God, “Why can’t I just die?” I feel totally alone, abandoned, and I feel a mix of sadness and anger. It all is overwhelming. It feels like I have no one to go to. Nothing feels real either, not even myself. Sometimes, I want to erase my identity and be someone else. I’m aware that there are people I can go to, but my mind instantly goes to, “ everyone is leaving... They’ve abandoned me.” I’ve thought about harming myself, but I didn’t. I’ll be seeing my doctor on Friday and I’ll have to bring up a number of things to him. I have to wait until the end of June to be mentally assessed, again. I know that I’m severely depressed, but I’ve always felt that there was more than that under the surface. I’ve always thought I could possibly have Borderline Personality Disorder, but I’ll have to wait. #Depression #MentalHealth #Crying #darkthoughts #Feelingabandoned #abandonmentissues #Sadness #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #anger #FeelingAlone

Ive been crying since last night,what i thought isnt my reality,my perspective seems very dark rn.... i just feel alone and numb. I vent to the wrong person and he warns me I trigger him and that he wants to end our friendship. The people you thought would be there isnt...my PTSD and TRAUMA is fuckin HORRIBLE rn....the only one who empathizes
....is my son. He comforted me,hugged and kissed me when out of nowhere brokedown and cried 😭 I swear IF IT WASN'T FOR HIM,I WOULDN'T BE HERE❤
JUST NEED ENCOURAGEMENT,THNX ❤