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Food Anxiety #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD
I have Ulcerative Colitis and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I have been in remission for a while now. Yet, I still suffer everyday. 80% of the time I eat #Glutenfree . I don’t drink soda, alcohol, or even many juices. If I do have juice I usually water it down. I switched to a limited about of decaf coffee with almond milk, or almond creamer. I have an entire mental food/drink list that are “Okay” and “NOT Okay”.
I still have days where I feel like I’m going to shit my intestines out of my body. Pain so bad that I will literally undress while sitting on the toilet because I feel as if I am going to pass out. I have days where my abdominal pain is worse than any labor pain I have ever had. It really sucks. It sucks because I hate feeling so ill and exhausted. I hate being so limited. I also hate it because I love food. My favorite is chocolate pastries, cakes, and truffles. Sugar is such a huge NO NO when you’re having symptoms with UC or IBS. I legitimately now have a love/hate relationship with food all together. For so many years no food has been directly associated with pain that I hate to eat. Even more recent, this year my traditional “go to” foods, and snacks have been bothering me now. I feel like I can’t enjoy anything. Twice this year I had to go to the ER due to black beans! My favorite are raw veggies and salads. Talk about feeling F***ed up! The bloating doesn’t help either. It is so hard to even muster up the strength, the courage to eat a simple snack let alone a meal.
Food has had such a strong impact on my life. I grew up loving food, all kinds of foods. Now, I have so much #Anxiety tied to food that I struggle to even enjoy the things I was once did. I just want to enjoy something basic like #Glutenfree cereal without feeling like I’m going to pass out and shit my pants. I do my best to breathe through it like you would during childbirth but, damnit the pain is annoying. WTF bod! Just act right for one F***ing day! The only plus side to my misfortune is that it has made me live outside my comfort zone A LOT! I have tried different foods, different diets, and what not, and in turn my kids have had access to a lot of different things. We often bake gluten free foods from scratch which has encouraged my kids to cook as well as be self sufficient in the kitchen.
I just wish I wasn’t so afraid to eat all the time. I miss being able to let loose with my dietary restrictions here n there. For some reason this year my body seems to not want 70% of what I eat. I could’ve eaten a steak weeks ago and today it messes me up. Or I could’ve been fine with pasta sauce and right now for some reason it’s too much. It’s like make up your mind and stick to it lol. Come on self, why can’t we be friends??? #UlcerativeColitis #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #dietarysensitivities #diet #Foodanxiety #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #FoodRestrictions
