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TW: Eating Disorder, disordered eating. CW: Disordered eating and weight loss. Anyone losing weight and has a history of disordered...?

Does anyone else on a weight loss journey with a history of disordered eating, find the medical/psychological terms and tips used by the medical profession to just be fancier/medical jargon-filled terms for what you did when you were ill in the throes of disordered eating? 🤔

'Like make sure to drink a ridiculous amount of water. Or try to make sure your movement output matches the calories you're intaking'.

It really just dawned on me how fatphobic most of our global society is🥲

You're praised for engaging in those restrictive measures when you're overweight. As if 'finally you've seen the light' when working out multiple times a day when in a bigger body.

I do want to lose weight, but it feels like every system and institution is almost goading me to fully engage in disordered eating. And to hell with the consequences as long as you're in a smaller body😮‍💨

#ChronicIllness #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Agoraphobia #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue #BackPain #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #BingeEatingDisorder #DisorderedEating #EatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #AuditoryProcessingDisorder #Deafness #BulimiaNervosa #Anorexia #Obesity #Insomnia #Asthma

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Not doing great today

TW: sh, disordered eating

I had a job interview yesterday which went quite well. It was my first job interview since quitting my job in May and it was for a position that fits well with my knowledge, skills, and experience.

Within an hour of the interview being over, I started rethinking everything I had said and fixating on some details. As the day went, I felt my mood significantly shift downward. It is hard for me to admit this because I feel a lot of shame, but I ordered pizza with full knowledge that it would make me feel worse (food sensitivities) and binged on it.

I kept tearing up and crying last night, and feeling like I'll never be able to handle a normal working life. I've also just started reopening some difficult things in therapy so that doesn't help.

Today, I've stayed in bed all day. My solution to not bingeing on leftover pizza from the moment I woke up was to just not eat anything. This also meant deliberately skipping my morning meds because it should be taken with food. As I started feeling terrible by 2pm, I ate some healthy food and took my afternoon meds.

I have my final depression therapy group session on Monday (week 8) and all I can think about is how I've failed. I was doing pretty well but this weekend is just so much regression and I am so ashamed and upset that I just want to wallow in it instead of using my strategies and coping skills.

I knew my reprieve of several months from the depths of depression wouldn't last, but why did a positive job interview experience lead to this?

I'm posting here because I need to resist the urge to isolate and hibernate.

#CheckInWithMe #letstalkdepression #Work #jobinterview #DisorderedEating #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #Isolation

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i cant eat

so lately i just haven’t had an appetite for anything and i’ve been nauseous and puking when i do eat. i’ve noticed that even when i ate like two hours ago the food still appears undigested. does anyone know what that could be or how to stop this from happening? it would be appreciated.

#DisorderedEating #Dysphagia #RuminationSyndrome #GastrointestinalDiscomfort #Gastroparesis

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Decisions(?)

I never wrote anything like this before, so bear with me, please.

3 years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disoreder, it was a relief knowing that what I was going through was not me “going crazy” or just “being crazy” since my teenage years, but it had a name.

However, it opened my eyes to some challenges.

I honestly don’t know how relevant this is to what I am trying to say, but I just felt the need to put it out here, for once, to be able to tell it to someone who might understand.

But getting back to my point…
I have a pretty difficult time with decisions, one in particular.

I got this job offer and for some reason I went to the interview. I got the job, it pays way better than my current job, it has a lot of benefits (financialy and professionaly). However, its very different from what I am doing at the moment, the new job being in management. At the moment I am a psychologist, k9 conducuctor and dog behaviorist. Tbh in my country it’s paid pretty badly, I can barely make ends meet and it’s putting a lof of stress on me and at times I feel like I am unrevelling.

And now, I am faced with this decision: old job or new job?
Doing what I love (for little money, with no possibility of advancement) or do what it’s right for my health and stability?
#Decisions #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #DisorderedEating #dep 🫣 #Anxiety #help

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How to handle expectations from others about speed of recovery?

Hello everyone, my husband and I are hoping to get some suggestions from you. My husband has been working through a bunch of things: disordered eating, intrusive thoughts, fear of getting sick and beneath all that is some form of trauma. The journey to recover from these things have not been straightforward or easy but over two years he has made progress in healing.

Unfortunately, his parents have not been able to understand the situation no matter how much we try to explain it. They keep asking him every week "Are you better yet?" even though we've made it clear it may take years to recover. They also push for medication because they "don't see progress" even though my husband has explicitly explained many times that it wasn't right for him.

Do you have any suggestions on how to handle such expectations? Have you gone through such an experience and what did you try?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

#PTSD #CPTSD #DisorderedEating #IntrusiveThoughts

31 reactions 9 comments
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How do we talk about antipsychotic weight gain in a healthy way?

#antipsychotic weight gain seems inevitable for most of us with #Schizophrenia . It’s one of the most common #SideEffects of our medications. It can be distressing and lead to multiple health issues, including diabetes ans heart failure.

But how do we talk about it in a healthy way? It seems that any time I talk about my weight gain, outside of speaking to my doctors about it, there’s a lack of support from family and friends because I sound like I’m complaining or being #fatphobic or contributing to #triggers for #DisorderedEating .

I gained 70lbs in less than a year. It’s uncomfortable. It was expensive to consistently purchase new clothing. My body is uncomfortably different.

Where can I go to for support without offending those I love?

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Learning to foster Patience

As I sit here thinking about instant gratification and how it's always been to my detriment. I've opted to embrace patience. Chronic mental illness and physical issues make committing to school difficult let alone a job yet I feel trapped by my own circumstance. Therefore, instead of wallowing and jumping into something too quickly I am going to start volunteering at my local peer wellness center to give back , build experience and dedication by taking on one four hour shift at my local center following training next Tuesday. I will treat it like a job. It's my way of giving back and preparing for enrolloing in school next spring in whatever seems fitting for my strengths and where I can outshine my weaknesses. I am going to take things slow as to not disappoint myself or others.this is food for thought for me as I think it will be withstanding whatever pressures come my way. Who knows what might unfold? I'm staying positive. #secondchances #schizoaffective #DisorderedEating #PanicDisorder #Depression #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #institutionilizationsurvivor #WonderWoman

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teeth things & funky food problems (ok I couldn't continue my alliteration lol)

so to add to the mix of my anxiety/phobia-ridden life, presently symptomatic in-part as struggling to eat adequately -- ... we add ...!

BITE! BLOCKS! ... or which I call, teef wedges. 🙃 It's like a doorstopper, for teeth! 🙃 I mean I've heard of them before anecdotally, but I didn't think it would apply to me 🙃 1001% unexpected 🙃 how long do they go in for ... I thought it was 1 adjustment but Google said possibly 6-9mo halp 😑🙃

Apparently it's for bite issues? But my ortho said something about how my gaps are not closing equally so it's disproportionate (by now the lowers are 99% closed, uppers less so and I can't see as clearly but I can def still feel the [albeit smol] gap) .. so we put bite blocks! I have two, one on each side.

... help, it's like spacers (but wedged) all over again. Does the I-feel-it-there -ness ever fade? + with night time elastic wear, I definitely feel the elastic pressure on the side where the bite block's pressure also feels stronger.

This means ... yesterday's lunch was 5 chicken nuggets (omg sounds like a kids' meal don't judge but I really didn't even dare to try a burger) + iced matcha latte. Yesterday's dinner was black beans cooked (soft) to Asian-style soup, with rice - yes I note my no-meat-no-veggies life but HOW? I basically give up on fibrous/leafy veg, & chicken/beef is stringy, help. I usually eat prawns with fried rice now. Not cos I like choosing "expensive" options, but because dang teeth.

Skipped breakfast, had lunch with a friend today - had a ham steak/sourdough toast (2slices, what was I thinking) set with 2 eggs. Ate most of it but couldn't quite finish, partly cos I took so long I got full + the food got cold. I left about 3/4 piece of sourdough toast & half a sunnysideup on my plate. Ate the same dinner as yesterday, minus rice. Managed to *somehow* also eat one slice of apple (I'm legit so proud hahahaha) ... in the same time a regular person might have eaten 2. Or 3. But okay 🙃

... help. Might need to start buying canned cream soup again - life as it is; I bought some when I first started my braces journey last year. Left 2 cans unfinished bc I learned to eat proper food with time (😅), realised one can had a dent the other day - threw away - and I just opened the last one over the weekend. So I have no. more. canned. soup 😑

Soup tomorrow, maybe. I need canned tuna that I can make salad with (for toast? 😋) ... no meat/no veg** life, help 🙃

** I do _try_ my best though. Like if my parents cook or buy back stuff that definitely includes some kind of meat/veg, my current refrain is "will try, but not gonna take a 2nd serve/piece .. "

#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Selfesteem [?] #DisorderedEating [?]

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Journeying #ADHD #Healing #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #PosttraumaticGrowth #BodyDysmorphicDisorder #DisorderedEating #Yoga

JOURNEY

Healing is hard work!
There are endless days that no one sees. Days where the tears flow like rivers from so deep from the places you’d long forgotten even existed.
💧Cry, let your tears flow freely!

Days where you don’t even have the ability or the wherewithal to get out of bed but you have people you love depending on just that.
🏋🏼‍♀️ Get up, and just take those next step.

There are days that you know you’ve got nothing. I’m talking about nothing: nada, zip, zilch! You’ve depleted yourself to your bones.
🌻 Rest, like your life depends on it.

Friend, it’s not our job to wear ourselves out or to hustle for our worthiness. The only thing we do, when we are ready, is to own our truth then give ourselves the permission and the compassion to heal. ☀️

You do not owe anyone an explanation of how you heal! It’s not a one size fits all!

I believe in different healing modalities to engage my body to release trauma. I believe the body keeps the score. So I need to move. You choose whatever works for you!

Some of mine include backpacking 🎒 , hiking 🥾 , and yoga 🧘🏼‍♀️ What people see on social media are the results of my journey. What they do not see on social media is what it took and what it cost me to get here!

The bottom line is this: YOU ARE WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES TO DO THE WORK OF HEALING. It’ll be messy. It’ll take grit. Rest. But it is possible!

I’m rooting for you!

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