the hardest part about eating healthy is gaining the weight #DisorderedEating
the hardest part about eating healthy is gaining the weight #DisorderedEating
#antipsychotic weight gain seems inevitable for most of us with #Schizophrenia . It’s one of the most common #SideEffects of our medications. It can be distressing and lead to multiple health issues, including diabetes ans heart failure.
But how do we talk about it in a healthy way? It seems that any time I talk about my weight gain, outside of speaking to my doctors about it, there’s a lack of support from family and friends because I sound like I’m complaining or being #fatphobic or contributing to #triggers for #DisorderedEating .
I gained 70lbs in less than a year. It’s uncomfortable. It was expensive to consistently purchase new clothing. My body is uncomfortably different.
Where can I go to for support without offending those I love?
As I sit here thinking about instant gratification and how it's always been to my detriment. I've opted to embrace patience. Chronic mental illness and physical issues make committing to school difficult let alone a job yet I feel trapped by my own circumstance. Therefore, instead of wallowing and jumping into something too quickly I am going to start volunteering at my local peer wellness center to give back , build experience and dedication by taking on one four hour shift at my local center following training next Tuesday. I will treat it like a job. It's my way of giving back and preparing for enrolloing in school next spring in whatever seems fitting for my strengths and where I can outshine my weaknesses. I am going to take things slow as to not disappoint myself or others.this is food for thought for me as I think it will be withstanding whatever pressures come my way. Who knows what might unfold? I'm staying positive. #secondchances #schizoaffective #DisorderedEating #PanicDisorder #Depression #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #institutionilizationsurvivor #WonderWoman
BITE! BLOCKS! ... or which I call, teef wedges. 🙃 It's like a doorstopper, for teeth! 🙃 I mean I've heard of them before anecdotally, but I didn't think it would apply to me 🙃 1001% unexpected 🙃 how long do they go in for ... I thought it was 1 adjustment but Google said possibly 6-9mo halp 😑🙃
Apparently it's for bite issues? But my ortho said something about how my gaps are not closing equally so it's disproportionate (by now the lowers are 99% closed, uppers less so and I can't see as clearly but I can def still feel the [albeit smol] gap) .. so we put bite blocks! I have two, one on each side.
... help, it's like spacers (but wedged) all over again. Does the I-feel-it-there -ness ever fade? + with night time elastic wear, I definitely feel the elastic pressure on the side where the bite block's pressure also feels stronger.
This means ... yesterday's lunch was 5 chicken nuggets (omg sounds like a kids' meal don't judge but I really didn't even dare to try a burger) + iced matcha latte. Yesterday's dinner was black beans cooked (soft) to Asian-style soup, with rice - yes I note my no-meat-no-veggies life but HOW? I basically give up on fibrous/leafy veg, & chicken/beef is stringy, help. I usually eat prawns with fried rice now. Not cos I like choosing "expensive" options, but because dang teeth.
Skipped breakfast, had lunch with a friend today - had a ham steak/sourdough toast (2slices, what was I thinking) set with 2 eggs. Ate most of it but couldn't quite finish, partly cos I took so long I got full + the food got cold. I left about 3/4 piece of sourdough toast & half a sunnysideup on my plate. Ate the same dinner as yesterday, minus rice. Managed to *somehow* also eat one slice of apple (I'm legit so proud hahahaha) ... in the same time a regular person might have eaten 2. Or 3. But okay 🙃
... help. Might need to start buying canned cream soup again - life as it is; I bought some when I first started my braces journey last year. Left 2 cans unfinished bc I learned to eat proper food with time (😅), realised one can had a dent the other day - threw away - and I just opened the last one over the weekend. So I have no. more. canned. soup 😑
Soup tomorrow, maybe. I need canned tuna that I can make salad with (for toast? 😋) ... no meat/no veg** life, help 🙃
** I do _try_ my best though. Like if my parents cook or buy back stuff that definitely includes some kind of meat/veg, my current refrain is "will try, but not gonna take a 2nd serve/piece .. "
Healing is hard work!
There are endless days that no one sees. Days where the tears flow like rivers from so deep from the places you’d long forgotten even existed.
💧Cry, let your tears flow freely!
Days where you don’t even have the ability or the wherewithal to get out of bed but you have people you love depending on just that.
🏋🏼♀️ Get up, and just take those next step.
There are days that you know you’ve got nothing. I’m talking about nothing: nada, zip, zilch! You’ve depleted yourself to your bones.
🌻 Rest, like your life depends on it.
Friend, it’s not our job to wear ourselves out or to hustle for our worthiness. The only thing we do, when we are ready, is to own our truth then give ourselves the permission and the compassion to heal. ☀️
You do not owe anyone an explanation of how you heal! It’s not a one size fits all!
I believe in different healing modalities to engage my body to release trauma. I believe the body keeps the score. So I need to move. You choose whatever works for you!
Some of mine include backpacking 🎒 , hiking 🥾 , and yoga 🧘🏼♀️ What people see on social media are the results of my journey. What they do not see on social media is what it took and what it cost me to get here!
The bottom line is this: YOU ARE WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES TO DO THE WORK OF HEALING. It’ll be messy. It’ll take grit. Rest. But it is possible!
I’m rooting for you!
So I've been unemployed for abt 4 months now after my company "downsized to management" (using their exact phrase + clarify I wasn't terminated) and as time goes by, I feel an increasing sense of shame abt it.
Anyway, so initially I think I put on some weight, like x pounds. It FREAKED ME OUT bc if you believe in BMI, let's just say as an Asian that amount pushes my BMI into not-great territory hahaha it made my BMI higher than ideal.
As time went by (I swear I wasn't trying intentionally to lose weight, more like "if I'm not even working do I really need food"), I .. felt less deserving of food 🙃 Not to make things too triggering, but some days I'd only have 2 meals, and I'm not proud to say some days it dwindled to 1. 🙃 It just felt like ... I wasn't sure I deserved food heh.
ANYWAY. So as I said, it would take losing x pounds to put me back to regular BMI. Today I stood on the scale after breakfast(! So its not like first thing in the morn kinda) and realised I only have x-4 pounds to gooo. Like ok I'll be fully upfront and say I don't think the 4 pounds were actual proper healthy loss, so there's that.
That and I havent got my period and I'm definitely not preggo so ... 🙃
Idk, should I be concerned. I'm not sure if like, I'm just late or Aunt Flow skipped the month 🤷♀️ IDK ok I sound like an awkward teenager in a weird phase and I'm aware how stupid I sound cos I'm twice that age but uhhhh idkkkkk.
Anyone else relates to any of this?!?! & does this sound like an eating disorder 🙃 or am I just a weirdo heh?
I follow this one girl who used to be underweight and I can’t stop looking at old videos of her and comparing myself to her. It makes me feel awful but I just can’t stop. I also look at content about eating disorders that’s triggering even though I know it will hurt me. I just don’t know how to stop myself.
I can’t stop looking at this one girls videos. I block her then unblock her hours later. It’s almost a habit at this point. It always makes me feel worse, so I don’t get why I can’t just stop. I compare myself to her which is why it’s harmful.
My rheumatologist wants to refer me to the hospital’s bariatric clinic. I have so many concerns. I understand wanting to get weight off my joints, but there are so many things she seems to not be considering. I have #PolycysticOvarySyndrome which makes it really hard for me to loose weight, not for lack of trying. Alongside that, I have a history of #DisorderedEating and I’m terrified of the roadblocks to my recovery this could cause. My experience with the medical field when it comes to balancing my #ChronicIllness and #MentalHealth has been very negative. Am I overreacting? Has anyone else dealt with this?