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I’ve been diagnosed with BPD for many years now. I’ve been going through a very low depression for the past few months...again. My psychiatrist told me that he didn’t believe that I was taking my thyroid pill so that must be what it is. Got my thyroid results yesterday, it’s perfect. I completely lost it at my GP’s office. I really wanted it just to be my thyroid affecting my mood. That’s so much easier to treat than it just being “me” again. So here I am, unable to take more than two days off of work because I can’t afford it yet I just can’t get it together. I just feel like a failure again and a burden to my family. #hateme #Fuckeverything


Who am I?

I am nothing, I don’t have anything good, my whole personality is horrible, my body, my face, even my name is horrible, I hate me, I hate me so much. #Depression #hate #horrible #hateme #Hatemyself



So I have always cycled between being ok. Like an even keel. I can be alright and sure of myself. It only lasts for maybe a week or less. Then the sadness, loneliness, helplessness, self doubt, self hate, and melancholy hit me. This lasts for maybe a few days, weeks, or months. Therapy has never helped. I've been through so many therapists and medications. I've tried all of the self care things you can imagine. Nothing sticks. All of my past jobs have not been very understanding of my mental health struggles. This is the first time my attendance has been an issue. My question is: what is the point in going on if the cycle never ends? What's the point if I will always be tired? Why keep trying to swim against the current? Why keep going when I don't feel satisfaction or joy or reward or hope? #Depression #why #hateme #Anxiety