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    Need to vent

    <p>Need to vent</p>
    22 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    The Truth of Chronic Pain & The Why of Long-suffering;
    A Series of Writings by Melanie R. (Con’t)
    #Christian #ChronicPain #InvisibleIllness

    Is there any purpose to my suffering?

    If God is good all the time, why do I suffer so?

    Have I angered God and deserve these afflictions?

    This is not the sovereign God I have come to know during all my years of suffering.
    The “good” of suffering is falling daily in reliance. I am in total submission in this pain-filled body. This is for my good I believe to teach myself or/or others something spiritual and in fulfillment of HIS purpose.
    Of course suffering is suffering, and pain is pain,… it’s knawing, vulnerable, exhausting, and extremely difficult to live through.

    Are all these years of my life in suffering condensed into a life lost to disability?

    Am I lost in the wilderness?

    When will I truly be found?

    1 Peter 4: 12-13
    Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice, as you share in Christs’ sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when HIS glory is revealed!

    By God’s Grace through faith-
    Yes, Amazing Grace!
    Although I am lost, I have alot yet to learn through suffering, but in tandem, I have truly been found!
    Chronic Illness Activist/Advocate Sarah Jackson beautifully quotes,

    ”Sometimes physical suffering is the impetus to experiencing spiritual flourishing,
    Sometimes you have to lose your best life in order to gain your best self!Chronic Illness can become a redemptive gift!”
    There truly is purpose to suffering!
    Jesus not only knows of our suffering,
    but suffered for us on the cross, and suffers with us daily!

    #ChronicPain #suffering #Christian #InvisibleIllness

    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    The Truth of Chronic Pain
    & The Why of Long-Suffering:
    A Series of Writings
    by Melanie R.

    #ChronicPain #suffering #Christian

    Why do we suffer?
    Why do bad things happen to good people? Where is God when we suffer?
    Does God even know we suffer?
    Do I deserve to suffer?
    Is Chronic pain, chronic illness, and disability all that God meant to do with my vibrant life?
    These are some of the questions I have asked myself, and that we can ponder upon as Christians as we suffer in many ways during this earthly experience.
    From the many atrocities and unjust sufferings of the world to chronic illness of yourself or a loved one, suffering in chronic pain to me is the very definition of pure misery.
    The biblical perspective of suffering has helped me to answer some of these questions. We can tend to feel helpless and hopeless at times as we walk through medical trials and true suffering of chronic pain.
    Joni Earickson-Tada knows of such suffering and has been one of the many inspirations on my journey toward understanding true long-suffering. Joni was riddled with quadraplasia and chronic pain after severing her spinal cord in a diving accident at age 17. Being wheelchair bound now over 50 years, she found her purpose in God and multiple limitations, while providing wheelchairs for those in need, and encouraging many suffering around the world. Joni quotes, ”God permits what he hates to accomplish what he loves. Trials are a test of faith,…to test if you become bitter or trust in God!”
    When we come to Christ, we do come to suffer. We have to be willing and trusting through our sufferings. It’s an opportunity to strengthen our faith and open our spiritual eyes to how we respond to hardships, sickness, afflictions, etc.
    How have I come to learn this?
    In total reliance, at the foot of the cross while trusting in Jesus with my life and applying biblical principles in all that I do.
    I’ve always found it painfully overwhelming and difficult to articulate, but I’ve come to know long-suffering through my current and past history of many medical trials of excruciating pain and multiple surgeries. Not only the actual constant physical pain, but the years of failed body, unfulfilled dreams, loss of identity, isolation, apprehension of treatment because treatments have not made you better, disconnection, and inability to relate to loved ones, pervasive shame and guilt, etc….. just to name a few!
    With all of these seemingly negative aspects of suffering, people have asked how I remain graceful while carrying such a heavy load of adversity. I’m asked how do I smile through pain and remain so positive. The answer is more simple than you’d ever expect!
    Reading through the scriptures, Christ is accessible, and suffering can be seen in a different light.
    As in 2 Thessalonians 1:5 (KJV): which is a manifest token of the righteous judgement of GOD, that ye may be counted worthy of the kingdom of GOD to which ye also suffer.
    We were meant to endure til the end while we suffer in our souls.

    Community Voices

    Need to vent/rant about the ignorance and egoism in the world #Anxiety #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #suffering #ChronicFatigue

    I apologize in advance if I trigger or hurt anyone. Yesterday's posts about the situation in Ukraine and Russia just pushed my buttons. I have been suffering with metal illness for years now and I've already felt like I don't belong to this cruel world full of insensitive people who only care about their wellbeing and their comfort and nobody else. I'm utterly disappointed in the direction this world is going, the loss of true values, compassion, dignity, decency, love, peace etc.
    I am a highly sensitive person, resonating to all vibrations, specially the negative ones. Also, as I have mentioned before, I come from a poor, torn and corrupted country that went through a devastating war with its fellow countrymen, friends and family. I have feared for my loved ones during bombings, seen the devastation and disastrous effects of war. Due to the selfishness of politicians we still suffer economically, physically and mentally.
    Sorry to say but most of you from the 'Western World' can not even comprehend how devastating it is for these people right now. The vast majority of people in Ukraine and even Russia are extremely poor with no regular income, barely enough to meet their basic needs or even less. They have almost no access to mental health care, it is simply non existent, just as it is here in Serbia. Cancer patients die due to the failure of the system. Hospitals look like derelict facifies from WWII with no exaggeration.
    To cut it short, I fear for all the people at war but with special emphasis on the ones suffering from any form of mental illness. We don't have good specialists or top edge science with good medication and a support system. The is no counselling. Only the wealthier might afford some private clinics but still not get the proper care. You can not afford not to work if you are depressed, bipolar, schidzoid, manic....These things are invisible in these societies believe me, specially in Ukraine. So I am mad at the world right not for not standing up (no sides need to be taken) for all the people suffering due to neglect. Yes, they are neglected and abandoned mostly by people who only seek their own comfort and gratification not caring about anyone else. Yes, the EGO.
    Let us be the change this world is in great demand for. Fellow Mighties, there is noone else who understands suffering more than us, who have been abandoned, abused and neglected. We are the ones who should show compassion, give voice to it so that this world becomes more a home to all of us.

    5 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Unsolicited advice and other kinds of unhelpful help

    This is story about something I cannot process. Recently I chatted with my friend and shared some basic informations why I left city. I didn't ask for advice, help or comment. I just shared informations because I wanted to, not expecting following conversation... Reasons for moving to other town and leaving some family members are abuse, violence and mental health problems as result of abuse. I am drowning in PTSD symptoms, depression, panic and anxiety. I cannot live normally. I am visiting psychiatrist and taking my meds.

    So that person asked me "You don't have strenght to be support to your family members?"... It left me speechless. Next messages were about how I need to work so I will less think about my problems and myself. That person gave me advices, suggestions and words which left me angry with urge to write very unpolite and ugly things. In the end I apologised for my bad reaction to her words. My reaction wasn't fine even though I have every right to be angry, to cut off that friendship and say goodbye for forever.

    I am still mad. It's because someone is pretty insensitive about pain and problems of other person and acts as she doesn't even know what terms as abuse, trauma and violence mean. Just because I left it doesn't mean I am selfish. Actually, that's an act of love for myself. Just because I left it doesn't mean I don't support some of my family members. I had to leave because I need to save myself before it's too late. Because I don't want to be in presence of violence, abuse and constant triggers anymore (aren't years enough?). Every person has right for life in peace. Person who told me these things didn't have bad intentions but it doesn't matter because pain is pain. Words can hurt even when somebody says them with good intentions. I wrote to that person that I am not searching for advices, I am just telling her what happened and that's it. She could write many validating things. She could just not answer because silence is sometimes greatest answer when you speak about wounded heart and mind-but she didn't. She commented as she is some kind of expert. I am not able to work a the moment due my mental health problems and other things. My mental health problems won't be "cured" with work. My problems aren't product of too much thinking. My problems and traumas will not disappear if I don't think about them. These comments suggested like it's somehow my fault. It's not my fault and I deserve help. I am not selfish because I left. I have every right to be unwell, ill and broken. It is how it is.

    I decided not to open my heart and talk about my traumas anymore. Not even about some general informations. At least for now and maybe forever.

    #Trauma #UnsolicitedAdvice #Abuse #DomesticAbuse #Depression #Anxiety #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #Pain #suffering #emotionalpain

    6 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Mental helth should be a priority in each societ

    Today my best friend lost her mom to a long struggle with depression. A few weeks ago a high school child committed suicide. Two losses close to me in just a month. Makes me wonder how little emphasis is given to mental health. Reading the stories here also leads me to a similar conclusion.
    I'm sad that people are not educated on how to deal with their own mental illness or the mental illness of people around them. Helath care systems don't function well in most countries. Societies generally don't value mental health nearly as much as it should be.
    Let's just acknowledge that it should be a priority to all of us everywhere.
    #MentalHealth #Depression #HealthCare #suffering

    11 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Beating myself up.

    I've gone through a lot..
    For the last while I feel like it's completely hopeless.
    It was almost 11 years ago now that I met my favorite person online. We were both hardcore online gamers.

    I'm married and he has a long term girlfriend.
    We had a hardcore online affair. My husband knew, but didn't care. We've had a few others involved in our life together. I've been with him for 23 years. He has ADHD and has never been very emotional.
    To make a long story short, I was completely in love with my online fantasy world. The guy was my world, still is..

    I got sick, really sick back in 2018. I had stage 3 colon cancer and it almost killed me.
    While I was sick and fighting for my life (at only the age of 38), his step daughter took her own life and it broke him.

    While I was sick I took a lot of my anger out on him.
    Last year we ended it in October.
    Shortly after we stopped talking, I received a phone call from his girlfriend. She told me she knew everything.
    At first I didn't feel anything, other than wondering if she truly knew everything..

    Even after everything, I still miss him so much!
    He wasn't the only guy I talked to online. We both had the same group of friends. Recently I have started talking to the other guy friends online. They don't know about the true relationship I've had with my fantasy guy. Sometimes I want to tell them everything! It almost has slipped a few times..
    Yesterday I broke down and sent him a message. I doubt I'll hear back.

    I'm broken, confused, full of shame and hurt. I miss him so much.
    I'm still able to get on his YouTube playlist and listen to our favorite music and remember the good times. He has a recording on there of him gaming with some other guys. The other night I played it so I could hear his voice. I almost melted in the pain and joy it gave me.
    What do I do? How do I move on?
    I can't let him go..

    I could go on, but this thought is long enough.
    Thanks for reading. It helps to say what's on my mind. 🌸

    #fantacy world #FavoritePerson #suffering #Affair

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    This is fine

    <p>This is fine</p>
    Community Voices

    Feeling uncontrollable rage (continued)

    So yeah. Tired of going to a church where there’s so much money. In fact, I’m tired of living in a town with so much money floating around everywhere. The people here are some the rudest, short tempered, entitled, jerk-wads that ever walked the planet. It might as well be called Karen! 😁 but on a more serious note. I guess I’ve got rock bottom and kept drilling for oil to get rich because this is the lowest I have ever been with no hope of any help in sight! Does anybody else feel this way? Just curious because this is the #?!]% - fill in the blank. Now I’m too tired to keep typing. #Rage #Depression #CymbaltaWithdrawal #feelinghopeless #Fibromyaliga #Disability #feelingworthless #wheresthechurch #suffering #everythingsgoingwrong #CheckInWithMe

    14 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Sometimes I think to myself......

    - Is this how i'm gonna have to live forever
    - Why is this happening to me
    - What have I done to deserve this
    - How much longer will this last
    - WTF is happening to me

    6 people are talking about this