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    Memory Lane

    Hello Everyone!

    I believe we have officially kicked off the #Holidayseason here in central Florida. I am #excited but #sad at the same time. Do you know what I mean?

    You see, the time change, mixed with the days being shorter, mixed with #Bipolar II and #Anxiety , it's pretty #horrible .

    I am a mix of excited for the decorations around the #ThemeParks and I am looking forward to seeing what is happening in #WaltDisneyWorld next.

    I do feel #Loved and #Supported , but I know that I am not 100% where I thought I would be at this point in #Life . Perhaps we have an illusion we are supposed to be something else, when nature always happens?

    Let's hope this #Holiday season is #good for you!

    How do you #celebrate the holidays?


    horrible #

    horrible thoughts#
    #horrible thoughts #horrible
    having one of those moments when all I can think about is my ex and his perverse sex fantasy and that he is now carrying them out with his new, young, thin and pretty girlfriend and I can’t get them out of my head, the trouble is that I now work on the area where his parents live and when I see him drive past it sends horrible anxiety through me, and I dare not look , because I can’t bear it. horrible, horrible, horrible 😢😢😢😣😣😣


    Cymbalta is #horrible

    I started #cymbalta last Saturday (a week ago). I was still coming off Effexor. Effexor made me feel horrible. I have recently been diagnosed with #Fibromyalgia . I have a whole book full of things wrong with me now so I wasn’t shocked. I also have IBS. But I usually only go 2 times a week. I haven’t been able to use the bathroom in over a week. I believe 1000% it was because of the cymbalta. I stopped taking it on Thursday and ended up in the hospital yesterday evening. I looked like I was 6 months pregnant! It was horrible. I’ve never had an enema before. Hard pass lol never again!


    Anxiety isn’t just being sad.

    Struggling in my marriage with being angry, anxious and yelling a lot. I try to explain to my husband that these are symptoms of my anxiety. He says he understands but just keeps treating it like I’m being mean. I can’t seem to stop. What do I do now? #Anxiety #pleasehelp #horrible #SocialAnxiety


    Who am I?

    I am nothing, I don’t have anything good, my whole personality is horrible, my body, my face, even my name is horrible, I hate me, I hate me so much. #Depression #hate #horrible #hateme #Hatemyself


    We all make #Life harder and more #horrible in our own #Eyes

    Unable to even just close my eye lids.
    It’s not as easy as before.
    Sleeping is harder.
    And the longer I’m awake,
    just writing in the dark
    Whilst listening to what
    I mainly hear on the days
    That have been even
    Harder than now.
    Even when asking
    How I do it,
    There is no way that
    Even I could manage to find an explanation.
    It’s harder to fake this smile
    Hide my scars
    And to give
    The loudest and
    Joyous laugh
    Strong enough to make
    Anyone feel better.
    Yet, the only thing I fail to do;
    Is find a solution
    For my own problems.
    I’m just a brown eyed boy,
    Who hides
    Late nights talks
    And deep conversations
    All up in my fluffy dyed hair.

    1 comment

    Anger!! 😱

    I really am sick of feeling angry&stressed all the time, mostly about nothing 😥😩it's beginning to make me feel like such a terrible&horrible person! I snap all the time at people for nothing... Everything has to be negative with me! Why the hell can't I just go back to being the happy, bubbly girl I used to be years ago? I hate myself at the moment, I hate the horrible person that iv become 😭 I'm always 'on guard' ready to defend myself, and horrible judgemental stuff is always coming out of my mouth, it just rolls out! I can't help it 😩 #Anxiety #anger #AnxietyDisorder #Stress #horrible