I have a confession...I haven't been so open and honest about my chronic health condition. I don't share a lot of what I go through with others, even close friends. When they ask, my usual go-to-reply is 'I'm doing okay' or I'm alright'. I just don't have the juice most days to get into it, and quite frankly, nothing that would come out of my mouth is uplifting or joyful about my condition - so I just deflect. I would rather just listen. (Of course, there are times when you know you need to just be acknowledged or understood. This could be one of my times.)
So here it is. I'm all about transparency and standing in my power and my truth...
I have concealed my illness for the most part, for several reasons. I have more recently accepted that I have fibromyalgia. I have been chronically ill since the year 2012. Although I've had symptoms off and on my entire life - and just didn't know 'what' it was.
I haven't been myself really since 2015 when I started experiencing global atypical migraines that lasted for weeks, the ones where the toilet/shower is the only place you ambulate to and fro. Oh except for the Emergency department because you are beside yourself.
I've found a protocol that has helped tremendously. (Gratitude) It takes time to reverse the symptoms and although I'm so much better than I was even this time last year..I still feel like I'm in a flare, and subject to every earth changing anomaly. Ugh.
Raising two teenagers to be responsible, respectful and competent adults while in bed yet still managing to keep the house clean, fridge full, bills paid, and home made meals (for the most part) can take the piss right out of you. Yes, I have taught them how to cook and clean. Still..
The closet has limited space and is quite lonely. Which I've become all too comfortable with. Well world, here I AM.
I am looking forward to some better days and great months where I can re-invent Lana, the most authentic Lana - who has Fibromyalgia.
#Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Disability #authentic