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FML

I don’t know why I continue putting myself through this bs…. I truly love this man but don’t think the feeling is mutual…Why is he still with me??!? #Depression #FeelingAlone #Lovelost #Selfhate

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Not feeling the love #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #lost #Marriage #Lovelost

I've been trying to work on some big issues in my marriage, but I can't fight to save it when he's not in it. I had to get this out, but I don't want to post it on Facebook, too many people don't see what happens when the doors are closed. He isn't abusive, but he is just distant.

The air that hangs between us is now deadly cold,
Love that once filled the space has been paroled.
Communication has been buried, my tongue can't speak,
Our future together no longer clear, it's outcome bleak.
When did we venture so far from the other, closed hearts,
I'm moving forward with recovery, this is where it starts.
Different paths that we follow, and neither has met needs,
I'm struggling with this black space and where it leads.
Words without change or promises unkept pierce my soul,
I don't know how to get through, food is how I self console.
Am I not loveable at this stage of life, myself I shouldn't trust,
The time is coming when I won't get up, our love will combust.
Maybe I've been too hard to get away from overwhelming pain,
Feel like my heart has gone and left me permanently insane.
How do I fix this scratch that has become a raging infection,
Our love should be pure, souls locked near perfection.
This is something we need to address, don't like strife,
If we can't, I will have to walk away and alone through life.

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Why start over now? #Foreveralone #PTSD #Bipolar #nolife

The only thing I have been terrified of my whole life, is being alone. Here I am 43 yrs old, no life, unsure how to rebuild my life, (I don't really want to🤔), & all alone. 'Scared' doesn't even begin to describe this feeling. It's agony! 😟😞 #fridaynightthinking #overthinking #Foreveralone #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #Recovery #VonWillebrandDisease #Fear #dreadful #Shame #Guilt #Lovelost

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Gone Girl #AddictionRecovery #Lovelost

Gone is your girl who smiled so brightly, she’s lost to the drug who held her so tightly.
You promised you’d hold her, you won’t let go.
But gone you are now, abandoning her so.
She lays here at night, crying in desperation.
She yearns for that drug, so loyal and patient.

That light is gone, that was once in her eyes.
It’s happiness she wants, but love to despise.
She’s empty, so lost.
The drug took her, at any cost.

But it’s you that she needed, more than anything.
But your love is gone, now there’s nothing but pain.

The struggle, the hate - what is there to live for?
Here she lays, blood pouring - a casualty of war. #abandonment #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Drugs #Selfharm