Where My Mind Is (3)
This quote really hits me when I think about specific moments in the past...whether it is weeks, months, or years ago. I easily feel guilty for things I have said and done. There are so many things I wish I could undo, unheard, unsee or unsay... maybe then some things would have had a better outcome...
But in the end, it is true that no matter how much guilt I have, it cannot change what has already happened.
I wonder if that is part of why I personally believe everything happens for a reason. Even with all the negativity, resentment, trauma, breakage, hurt, rejection, pain, and suffering. There is a reason for it. Mind you, I never think that the reasoning is due to a person deserving it. I believe that it has something to do with how that person will overcome obstacles, learn and grow, fight back, bounce back, move forward, embrace ourselves, love fully, be content with themselves.
That second part is hard for me to really take in. I could tell myself that thousands of times but I do not think my mind would allow me to believe it. Anxiety is a nightmare at times, if not all the time. The power and potential it has to impact my entire being is quite terrifying. One of my biggest anxieties is the future... because it is the unknown. To me, the unknown is pure anxiety. It is hard for me to frame it into something good or positive. It feels like fake positivity and false hope, when things don't go "right". When things turn out okay of "right", I am sometimes pleasantly surprised or I think I just got lucky. Most of the time, to prevent disappointment, I expect the worse. It's probably a bad, unhealthy way to go about it but it's my way of coping with that fear of the unknown. Slowly but surely I am working on lowering my anxiety about the future as I know that can impact how things out in the future.
What's your take on this quote? Agree? Disagree? Does it feel applicable to your life?
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