WhereMyMindIs

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It’s been a long time…

Hi Mighties,

It's the middle of the month but still Happy Mental Health Awareness Month and Happy Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month! It has been an extremely long time.
Every time I come back on here and say that I'm planning on posting again, it doesn’t happen. So this will be Adela will post whenever she can.
I had some free time today and decided to go on The Mighty. I looked at my profile, reminiscing on some of my posts and thought about what I was experiencing during those times and remembered how therapeutic and helpful posting was for me. I'm wanting to get back into that.

Some (good) personal stuff to share that's occurred in the past year:
1. I started exploring romantic relationships for the first time last year. A friend got me onto a dating app and my experience has been relatively positive.
2. I moved out of my parents house for the first time last July. It was a much needed life change and I'm glad I did it.
3. My therapist moved away last month, so I ended therapy after working with them for 8-9 years. I had concluded 17 years of being in therapy (for now, maybe)
4. This entire time I've continued doing telehealth to provide therapy to my clients. In the past few months we've transitioned back into the office a few days a week, which has generally been better for myself and my clients in the work we do together. Next week the department will be fully going to be back in the office.
5. It's been about a year and three months since I last had a severe depressive episode.
6. I got my first tattoo about 2 months ago despite my parents being against it.

Really trying to get into this adulting stuff 😂
Time has been moving by so quickly. I've been continuing to learn and grow, as I’m sure everyone else here is doing the same. I am hoping to reconnect with some of you and connect with those I have not encountered yet 😊

#MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Parenting #MightyTogether #ADHD #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Depression #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #selfreflection #Positivity #WhereMyMindIs

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Fried Mac & Cheese Bites! #SundayFunday

This evening I got dinner with my sister and a family friend that we haven’t seen in a very long time. We went out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory (one of my favorite places) and whenever I go I ALWAYS get this appetizer! It’s super delicious 😋 This was a really nice way to end this weekend!! #Positivity #Food #selfreflection #SundayFunday #letstalkdepression #WhereMyMindIs

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It’s been a long, long time since I’ve posted 😔 a lot of things have been going on for me personally that I’m looking forward to share with you guys. For now, I want to leave this post here.

#MentalHealth #Disability #MightyTogether #CheckInWithMe #WhereMyMindIs

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May 24th

Happy Pansexual and Panromantic Awareness and Visibility Day 💖💛💙

To all of those who identify as pansexual or panromantic, today is for you! Celebrate your sexuality and remember that you’re important, loved, and valid.

Love, Adela 😊

#MentalHealth #Sexuality #Awareness #LGBTQIA #LGBTQ #pansexual #panromantic #Support #Pride #Love #WhereMyMindIs

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#StopAsianHate

I know the day has ended, but I still wanted to post this.

Things are really challenging right now for the AAPI community. Those who are a part of that community, please know that you’re not alone. I have a lot of overwhelming feelings about this entire situation. I ended up taking a break from social media for the week because reading and hearing about it continuously made me upset. I am filled with an incredible amount of rage and I don’t have it under enough control to speak very in depth about this openly on a public platform. I am still very upset and I’ve struggled with processing it all. It is an ongoing thing. However, this is still important to talk about. People are hurting. I want those of you who have been affected, especially those in the AAPI community, to please reach out to someone if you are having a hard time with this, are emotional, feeling some type of way, and need to vent or rant. I don’t want people to sit with this on their own. It’s really challenging to find a person or place where we can feel safe and supported without fear in general. With this negative spotlight, it can be even more challenging. Safety is a huge concern I have for myself and those who are a part of the AAPI community. I had suppressed my own feelings for a few days about all of this and it had really gotten to me. There is a tremendous weight to this societal issue and to hold it on your own is too much. I am open to people sending me direct messages on here if you would like to chat about this and/or would like support. I’m constantly thinking of the those we lost in Atlanta and their families. My heart goes out to all individuals who have been impacted, small or big, it matters and should not be dismissed, it should be expressed, acknowledged, and heard.

Regardless of whether you are part of the AAPI community or not, please know that support, comfort, and love that you express about this topic is meaningful. We all have our limits and capacities in which we can take actions. The easiest one I can identify is be kind. Just please be kind. I know that is something that I would appreciate at this time.

If you took the time to read this post and this makes sense to you, thank you.

Take care of yourselves and remember that you’re not alone.

Sending love and care your way,
Adela

#MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Parenting #MightyTogether #CheckInWithMe #StopAsianHate #AAPI #Racism #Reflection #AsianAmericans #Society #SocialMedia #Loss #violence #anger #hurt #COVID19 #ADHD #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Depression #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #IntrusiveThoughts #SuicidalThoughts #Trauma #WhereMyMindIs

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Trying To Get Out Of My Head

I want to scream and cry and destroy and fight and sleep all at the same time. There are so many intrusive thoughts happening right now. I was emotionally charged all day and held it in while working. I know what triggered it and I am one hundred percent going to raise hell about it over the weekend and handle it. I guess this is what happens when I don’t handle it right away. This is one of the things I hate the most. It’s terrifying. Having thoughts telling me things that aren’t true and making me feel like a terrible person. My breathing isn’t normal and tears are going down my face. This isn’t something that happens often but damn, when it does everything I have ever learned about coping flies out the window. You would think that someone who works in the mental health field would have a better grasp of this stuff but nope, doesn’t mean anything. The struggle is still just as real and challenging, even if I have different things in my toolbox. When this kind of stuff happens it’s almost like the toolbox is locked and I lost the key.
I would really appreciate it if my mind would turn off so I can sleep.
I hope tomorrow is better.

#MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #ADHD #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Depression #IntrusiveThoughts #SuicidalThoughts #WhereMyMindIs

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Where My Mind Is (18)

This is a post I saw the other day which reasonated with me. It made me emotional. For me, when I have a time period where I’m doing okay and things really aren’t that bad and I somehow end up going back to a negative mindset, I feel like it is its own form of relapse almost. By no means am I trying to down play relapse for others but for myself I feel like this emotional experience is sort of like relapsing...like doing pretty okay, got a fairly decent streak going and something happens that makes me start over. I feel that it’s hard to get back to being okay when falling back into a destructive mindset occurs. This has happened to me a lot in the past 6 months or so. Different things cause it each time. I’ll soon be sharing another personal post talking about one of my experiences.

In the meantime, I want you all to know that it is okay when this happens. I don’t think this determines anything about who we are as a person nor our abilities or our futures. I know it’s a very devastating feeling when it happens, but I truly believe in people’s abilities to come back from it and try again. The progress is never linear, which is frustrating but a part of life. I don’t think there is anything easy about healing. But there is always some growth each time. It can seem or feel minuscule but it is there and that definitely counts for something.

Give yourself credit for what you have been able to do. It has worth and it is meaningful. You are mighty and you got this. I got this. We got this.

Feel free to share a time when this has happened to you. I always want to hear others experiences.

Sending all my supportive and positive vibes your way.

#MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Parenting #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether #ADHD #Autism #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarDepression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #DepressiveDisorders #EatingDisorders #NeurodevelopmentalDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #PersonalityDisorders #PTSD #Schizophrenia #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #SomaticSymptomandRelatedDisorders #Suicide #SuicidalThoughts #IntrusiveThoughts #Trauma #growth #resilience #Positivity #Reflection #WhereMyMindIs

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Where My Mind Is (17)

I don’t know what phase of life you’re currently in, but I hope you’re doing okay and getting through it. It can be tough to get through it, but I believe that you can. It might take some time and it may require patience. Don’t worry, you’ll get there.

I am going through my own phase at this time which is why I haven’t been posting as much as I thought I would be upon my return in February. I’ll need some time and I’ll get there. I’m trying to figure things out (constantly). I did break and it sucks. I’m tired in every way possible. It hurts and I hate it. I truly can’t stand feeling how I feel right now but I put myself here and I’m facing the consequences. It is taking me a while because I did it the hard way, but I am pushing through it and I intend to reflect on my experience. I’m going to get something out of it, so it’s okay. I’m going to be okay. And so are you.

Feel free to share a phase in your life where you were able to grow, heal, and learn. I would love to hear it.

Talk soon,
Adela

#MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Parenting #selfreflection #Selfesteem #Overworking #ADHD #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #BipolarDisorder #Depression #IntrusiveThoughts #WhereMyMindIs

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Where My Mind Is (16)

These are questions that I used to think to myself very frequently...when I was consumed by thoughts of negativity. Putting so much focus and energy towards the thoughts of hating myself, being worthless, that life was pointless, constantly striving to meet other people’s unattainable social expectations, when I really had no sense of self. What was I even doing? I don’t know. All I know is that I never want to go back to that state of mind. With time and experience I have learned more about myself - how I process, interpret, understand, and grow. I will continue to learn and grow. At the end of the day, i have to tell myself that I’m okay and I have done more than enough. I should be proud of that alone. Reminding myself these things is vital for my mental wellness. I hope that you all see this in yourselves - that you too are okay and are doing more than enough. Please accept that you are learning and growing. It is a part of life. Things never stay the same. They are always changing. We are always changing. For better or for worse, we get something out of those changes. We aren’t supposed to be stagnant. Be gentle with yourself and your process. Those who leave are missing out on someone wonderful. I assure you - You are doing what you can. You are not too loud. You are not too quiet. You do not share too much. You do not share too little. You do not need to smile any more or less than you already do. You are not too clingy. You are not too absent. You are enough, just the right amount. Those who do belong in your life will see that you are enough, and that you always have been.

#MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Parenting #Reflection #Positivity #Selfacceptance #WhereMyMindIs

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Where My Mind Is (15)

Remember to not be so hard on yourself. You have done so well. You continue to do your best. It is enough. It is always enough. Work on being friends with yourself. We are all very good at self loathing, thinking negatively about who we are and easily point out every single flaw we see within ourselves. Nothing helpful comes from that, all we do is make ourselves feel terrible and inadequate compared to others. In reality, we stand on our own. There is no need to compare. We each are our own unique individual. We should be living life being our authentic self. It is sad that we spend so much time being anything other than that. Take it easy and be kind to yourself. Things aren’t easy, you’re working hard and you’re fighting as much as possible. Keep your head up and continue to move forward. You are doing amazing.

Sending you strength, love and positivity.

Always,
Adela

#MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Parenting #DistractMe #CheckInWithMe #Reflection #Positivity #authenticity #WhereMyMindIs

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