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I'm new here

Greetings everyone!☺😊 you can call me Moses, I am a newcomer to this group. I have been struggling with mental health issues for a considerable amount of time, but I am aware that I am not alone in this struggle. With the support of others, I am confident that I can overcome this challenge. I am grateful for each day that the universe presents to me, and I am enthusiastic about being a part of this community and sharing positive energy. I believe that I have valuable insights to offer, and I am convinced that we can all make positive changes in our lives through the cultivation of positive habits.

#BipolarDisorder #order #anxiety #MentalHealth #Insomnia #Depression

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A little update

So I found this place called "Vent Space". It is supposed to be a safe place for you to vent and not have to worry. LIES! I let out everything just to release. Well some one decided it would be smart to send police out to my house. They came out in August last year to take me away because of OD on my meds.

Going through all I am, no one believes me. They all think I'm lying, even though I have medical documents proving everything. With all my mental illness I can't find one person just to care about what I go through. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #order #Anxiety #MentalHealth .

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Adhd and bipolar…..are they commonly mutual #order #BipolarDisorder #dep #ADHD

So firstly please forgive me for the photo. It was early hours, on the beach, watching the sunrise. These guys and gals had been singing together, so badly it made me smile, but when the sun came racing and bubbling like a cauldron, they cheered and clapped. Just random peopl who may have the same thoughts as me.

So now I’ve pontificated I’ll get on with it. My bipolar disorder was given to me about 4 years ago, after I made good efforts but ultimately failed to end my life. There were many facets of the lead up to this event that don’t need telling, here, this time. But one….>

So one of the problems I have is my brain doesn’t stop talking. Not voices, just if I did a and b I’d get c and d at the same time. I love doing things with my hands so I am always designing, making, restoring etc. I have to use a prescription drug to make me sleep the days I go to work. I have to be precise with my job and be smiley for the customers. Most times this works. But because of the nature of the drug I use I can only have so many a month. The rest of the time I’m up through the night drawing designs, making tool lists and a whole other plethora of things. This can go on for two half hours, hours apart or hours hours apart, or just all bloomin night.

During the day I can’t sit still, get bored inside of ten minutes, everything has to be clean and really clean. Music or telly noise has to be on the go. My brain just needs to be doing something when my body is saying enough is enough.

I have that noise thing in my ears, I can’t remember the name. I was diagnosed with that when I was about 8 and I’m now 56.

With all that said all I crave is silence from my head. On a good day on the beach, no people, no wind and crashing waves, I consentrate on the noise of the waves and it soothes me.

I did an online test which left me with a suggestion to get tested for ADHD. So months ago I went to the gp and asked the question. I had to go away and prove the results of the online test. He never got back to me. So I wonder if there is another way forward, here in the UK.

Currently I have prostrate issues, severe sleep apnea, skin cancer and a couple of other things so it might have been surpassed in the grand scheme of things. This week I have covid for the first time, not the excitement I need in my life right now. And apparently the national health service feels I am ‘likely to have severe consequences’,,, or something like that. But to me it is important and would go some way to explain my life.

Any and all answers are greatly received. If anyone knows of agencies that I may get help or signposting from, then once again this would mean so much to me.

Thank you so much for getting this far.

All my love and best wishes to all. Be safe and be yourself…..you deserve it.

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I feel what I feel I understand that but what I feel sucks

So we're do I start I been having the feelings lately that I'm going to hurt myself it's a feeling that I can not get passed I have felt this way as long as I can remember but lately it's been quite ful on the meds did not work therapy did not work I'm feeling at a loss of what to do ,I have days were I just feel that I can not do this any moor ,I need to get passed this but don't know how music don't help films and TV a bust all the things that use to help but lately it does not seem to help at all #Selfharm #deppreshion #order #anxiety #MentalHealth


What happened when I didn’t sleep for a week

Let’s just start with a disclaimer, do not try this at home as not sleeping is extremely dangerous and I would not recommend it to anyone - friend or foe.

I never intended not to sleep for a week, but as I later found out have Bipolar Disorder.

In simplistic terms, Bipolar is known for its extreme mood swings that can range from really dark low depressive episodes to manic highs. Both phases come with their own sets of debilitating symptoms, but for each individual who lives with Bipolar their experience will be completely different.

I know that for me, I never experienced any depression. For almost two years I lived through mania and even my mental health team could not believe at how poorly I had become. Not to mention my family and friends.

Throughout this time period I had a constant decreased need for sleep and was spending obscene amounts of money online. Every day numbers of parcels would arrive at my door and in the end I could not keep up with the constant stream of returns needed to keep my bank account afloat. That’s without mentioning the fact that my room would just be full of unopened parcels sometimes as I was losing track of what I was ordering as it was mostly crap that I didn’t want or need to put it bluntly.

So I’ve mentioned the decreased need for sleep that came with the mania I experienced in these two years leading up-to this week of complete insanity, and insomnia I can live with or I have learned to live with you might say, but not sleeping a wink is a total different kettle of fish.

About a week before the last time I got hospitalised (for the fourth time in eighteen months) I stopped sleeping altogether. I stopped eating too, not intentionally - I just wasn’t hungry.

I was already really poorly by this point, but this just was the tip of the iceberg and I simply deteriorated from there on out. I started hallucinating so vividly in the brightest of colours. My psychosis ran worsened day by day sometimes hour by hour. I was living in cuckoo land and despite my crazy, absurd hallucinations everything still seemed so real to me at the time. I can see now that I was living in the madness.

At first I felt in total control. I thought it was part of my mission and that my hallucinations were part of a new feature or something, a bit like a spy. But most importantly, I thought I could manage it. But no one can manage psychosis without backup. Without outside help, and that usually includes lots of sleep, good food, medication and an outside environment. That was what I needed at the time because my psychosis was within the four walls of my house and so I needed to escape that environment. It has gotten to the point on the night before I was sectioned where I was seeing messages in the sky and the bricks of my house were closing in on me. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time.

I can see why people who live with Bipolar don’t want to seek treatment as mania is totally euphoric but the thing is it impacts on every aspect of your life. I lost my job and my home because of this stuff and have lost many friends along the way due to lack of understanding. Now I am well I have got many things back but there are certain things I don’t want back because if people don’t want me at my worst then they don’t deserve me at mr best, and it’s as simple as that.

My parents could see I was unwell and they were already on it and were calling for reinforcements but it’s not always as simple as that with the NHS, because truth be told I had been crying out for help in a certain sort of way for a lot longer before it had come to this.

I could see holograms and orbs for days in the hospital even though I had been medicated, which just shows the power of sleep deprivation and what it can do to brain and thought.

I understand why my hallucinations were there as I don’t think they are totally random. I think mine come from deep within my brain, like TV shows I had watched and recent news pieces I had read and just general thoughts and fears
I had. That’s what I mean, imagine all of what’s inside your brain totally spluttered out into hallucinations and verbal diahharea and that’s what I went through for two years. And then the sleep deprivation just exacerbated that tenfold.

I’m hoping that by talking about what I went through that this could help just one person. To me now this is just a memory and one that I hope I will never have to go through again as I am still recovering from it now. But with the right medication and treatment then I should be well on my way. #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #Sleep #SleepDeprivation #order #Anxiety #MentalHealth



I saw my extrovert friend.I wonder how smooth he is with everyone.He knows many people.His status made me feel little nervous.I am afraid how i am gonna learn.
#sad #anx #order #bipolardisorder #dep #mighty


Happy Thanksgiving.

I am really thankful for all the people with whom I have interacted here. All of the leaders and members who gave their hand to help.

Thankful to almighty who send these lovely people to each other.

#order #anxiety #MentalHealth #Depression

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Just sharing my beautiful fur baby with you all tonight hope you are all safe and keeping well #reachingout #Love #order #anxiety #MentalHealth