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Do I have a mental health disorder or am I neurotic?

My mood changes in a day or for a few days or weeks or months at a time. I am either up or down and only occasionally okay. My family tell me, Your too sensitive, to think before you speak as your words can hurt people, they brush things under the carpet, your beautiful, I don't understand you sometimes, I will call you but don't.... The list goes on. When I'm okay I cook, bake, sew and focus on arts n crafts activities, eat well and do physiotherapy. #howcan istaywell#Depression #anx o#Anxiety

I continuously learn new things and can feel anxious till I gain a certificate and I do tell others then I fall into a depression for months. Nothing changes really. I just move onto something else.

I have low self esteem, an over thinker and over analyse. I was shy as a child but popular. I cannot deal with conflict or honest tough discussions and shut down emotionally and physically. I give my all in relationships and when I lose someone or a pet I loved through grief or separation then I go into a deep depression for 5/6 months. I can rise like a phoenix and I'm someone new and the past is gone.

I can focus on a goal that nothing else matters as a creative task and forget to eat or longer term living in a different country surviving with no past, a new identity, find lovely, kind people that I leave abruptly.

Yet, my past continuous to haunt me and comes to mind especially at night. I just want to relax and be present which I strive for all of the time.

Since being a teenager I used negative coping skills to manage becoming some one I am not on a day to day basis. Alcohol use brought me out of my shell. It was exhausting bring gregarious and everybody's friend. I was rejected by my best friend at 15 and went into silent mutism, it was so sad for me. I like being around people and I like being on my own to recharge and recover.

I cannot sustain relationships as I really do think everyone will leave me when they see who I really am. I self sabotage by my actions and will become silent that the relationship breaks down as soon as I stop trying. I don't know why I do it in intimate relationships and friendships. But why don't they fight for me?

I have had many jobs where I help and support people. I find it easier working with vulnerable people to help build their belief and confidence. 'normal' healthy people scare me. I can be misunderstood, used as a scapegoat, for money, and been bullied in the wrong jobs at times.

I have never spoke about this stuff and apoligise if it's a mumble jumble. It's a start and I'm glad to know there may be help and support.

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The weather has been Grey, damp, cold, water and rainy and I Hurt and I I'm exhausted and in pain and I just feel blah, uncomfortable in my own skin#BPD #depre #CRPS #anx

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My mom just doesn’t understand

I’ve made mistakes, mostly like accepting my current job. Thankfully this job helped me realize my want to better myself and start to look at something within my field, however my mom will not let me live down or forget my past and it’s maddening. I had an issue spending money, accidentally spent too much, I’m better. What’s super frustrating is she supports my younger sister in her job struggled and want to quite but shuts me down. She constantly trying to give me reasons to fail and why I won’t make it xyz. I love my mom I’m just beyond frustrated with her constant need to tear me down.

Just wanted to get this off my chest, it’s been bugging me for a while and the passing one of my aunts has made me reevaluate a lot of stuff and one thing is turning my fear of failing into fear of not trying. Thanks for reading.

#CheckInWithMe #sad #anx #ChronicDepression #Depression #stuck



I saw my extrovert friend.I wonder how smooth he is with everyone.He knows many people.His status made me feel little nervous.I am afraid how i am gonna learn.
#sad #anx #order #bipolardisorder #dep #mighty


TODAY #sad #anx

I waked up with negative thoughts that trigered my anxiety. I'm irritable. Sometimes i think to myself "what a nightmare this family". Im a procratinator and is a issue so un confortable. I think in this fix for My house un My writings, but i let everything in The waiting room. Well, part o My mind.

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I wished I’d never meet my fiancée .. he has ruin me mentally , emotionally, he cheated on me twice... and I’m too dumb to leave him bc I’m in love.

#toxicrelationship #sad #anx ##ptsd # #Depr

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#Baday #sad #anx

Does anyone get anxious, and upset at te same time with everything. That. Puts you in a bad mood... it affects you and your surroundings.. smh God please help me...


hard on myself #sad #anx #Anxiety #socialawkwardness

my am I so hard on myself. when I am in a group discussion.. I feel a bit anxious to talk and sometimes get angry or sad to that no one is asking me anything or talking to me.. and this happens in one to one conversation too. but when the other person takes initiative to talk, I feel bad about why didn't I start the conversation, why was I rude earlier to that person by not talking. I get happy when people talk to but also feel like why I didn't stand up for myself #mood #selfhelp #selfhelp #MoodDisorders

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Is any light during the day better than none? #sad #Depression

My whole family sufferers from some type of SAD.
Most of the time we miss the morning time block.
We could do it in the afternoon or evening, but I am wondering if that would work and not cause to much problems? #sad #anx #Depression #SeasonalAffectiveDisorder


aftermath #Depression #Anxiety

After a 6 month on and off romance we decided it should stop definitely. I felt and told him the relationship wouldn't work a month after it had started. However we work at the same place , for me it's very hard to not to be nice and mellow to him and that sent him mixed signals like I wanted to go back into a relationship.
The issue is as I am very lonely , afraid to reach out for friends and messing things up , I end up isolating myself completely to the point I get overly clingy when I find someone who feels any sort of affection towards me.
So the aftermath is now that he's no longer having it, which I totally understand, I am lost and in deep pain, and lonely cause I don't take the chance to reach out to a anyone, I always feel too ridiculous, childish, embarrassed, bothersome ... you get the idea. #Breakups #Depression #anx#Anxiety #Isolation