Hi all, new to this group. I'm struggling quite a bit, at the moment. I cancelled my work for the week to lessen the pressure and reached out to my local CAMHS yesterday. I have an inital assessment tomorrow morning that is likely to lead to some therapy. Very hard to keep going, but I'm feeling a bit better today. Going to an art class at my local recovery cafe this evening to see if it's a good fit for me.
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Perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks. When healthy, it can be self-motivating and drive you to overcome adversity and achieve success. When unhealthy, it can be a fast and enduring track to unhappiness.
What makes extreme perfectionism so toxic is that while those in its grip desire success, they are most focused on avoiding failure, resulting in a negative orientation. They don’t believe in unconditional love, expecting others’ affection and approval to be dependent on a flawless performance.
If you’re wondering whether you are a perfectionist, there’s a good chance you are—at least to a degree. There's also a good chance you have some investment in being a perfectionist because of the positive connotations of the word "perfect."
Perfectionists are a lot like high achievers, but with some key differences. Here we share the differences, revealing ten telltale signs of a perfectionist — signs that you may be able to spot in yourself or people you know.
You can refer to this:
resiliens.com/resilify/program/how-to-overcome-perfectionism
6 reactions Individualism is everywhere, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing. However, it has been corrupted to a trend-like phenomenon. Being different has become something you actively do, not already are. I would go as far as to say that how unique you are is a new way of defining your worth as a person. If you are "not like other girls", you are special and thus, more desirable as a partner or as a friend or generally more popular.
This makes uniqueness a competition: Who is the most different to everybody else? (Note that being too different is not trendy; be a special snowflake, not a weirdo.) If you spend a lot of time on social media platforms, you may have noticed that this is a common way of thinking, although it might be phrased a bit tamer. Still, the idea of being your own person has been corrupted into something far darker: the need to belong by not belonging.
But there's nothing wrong with being average - if you were average, that is. Disclaimer: You're not, even without trying. The chances you're average in every single way are nearing zero.
Average means perfect – you don't have to be either
The average person is what society is build for. Take average height doors for example: 2.30m people cannot fit.
This is not a critique (for once), because although it's not a good solution at all, there's not really a better one, either. You need to model society to some degree and modelling it to best fit the average person is still the best idea. That's because although nobody is perfectly average, many people are fairly close.
I agree that if you could be average, could become perfect, it'd be amazing. But you can't. You could become average, but you could never truly be something you just... aren't.
This entry isn't supposed to be about self-acceptance, but it seems like this is where it leads me. There's a difference between wanting to improve oneself and wanting to be someone else.
You can (and should) improve yourself without disregarding or trying to change who you truly are as a person.
For a long time, I thought the phrase "You're perfect the way you are" was wrong. I now see it in a different light. You're not perfect in the way that you're flawless; you're perfect in the way that you cannot be another person, and this is your true, ideal form. You're broken in the best kind of way, so to speak.
Don't try and corrupt or change yourself to please others. You don't have to be a special snowflake, a bad girl or guy and you don't have to dress or talk or look or behave in ways you don't want to. You don't have to conceal flaws or insecurities to fit in.
We need more genuine people, more truth, more pain, more sorrow, more unrestricted joy, more dancing, more laughing, especially online. Don't pretend to be happy, sad, depressed or modest when you're not.
The whole range of emotions you already have makes you good enough. They're valid. Your feelings always are, you can't control them, after all. They make you who you are.
#self #selfImprovement #better #perfect #perfectionism #Basic #average #valid
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Fat loss is really hard if you are a “perfectionist.” Clients who self identify as a “perfectionist” tend to be the clients who fail the most often, are knocked out of the game by failure the longest, and have the hardest time bouncing back after failure.
In other words, clients who self-identify as “perfectionists” tend to be the least successful clients on a nutrition plan, by a huge margin.
Two kinds of perfectionism:
Positive Perfectionism
sometimes also called healthy perfectionism or perfectionist strivings
Negative Perfectionism
sometimes also called unhealthy perfectionism or perfectionist concerns
You can refer to this:
resiliens.com/resilify/program/how-to-overcome-perfectionism
And, on those days when all you have in you is to muster up the energy to even take a deep breath and accept yourself exactly where you are and feel what you need to feel…..‘it is what it is’!
#Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Depression #perfectionism #MentalHealth
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Self-doubt is closely linked to self-esteem. And according to Schiraldi (2007), our self-esteem is built on top of three building blocks:
-Unconditional self-worth. A sense that our worth is neither increased nor decreased by external factors like the way people treat us, our decisions, or the amount of money we make.
-Unconditional love. Permanent love from ourselves and others.
-Growth. Developing desirable personal qualities, making good decisions, and building our strengths.
Thinking through these questions and developing a mindset that helps you maintain your self-worth may help self-doubts from taking over.
Surround yourself with support
No one masters life by themselves. Tony himself has several mentors. To learn how to overcome self-doubt and climb to the peak of achievement, you’ll need people to lift you up. Find someone who has what you want and emulate them. Practice peer elevation as well: Minimize relationships that bring negativity into your life and surround yourself with positivity and support instead.
Use positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is when we say things to ourselves that are kind, positive, or supportive. Positive self-talk is generally thought to be good for mental health and has even been shown to improve performance (Tod, Hardy, & Oliver, 2011).
Use affirmations for self-doubt
Positive affirmations may be considered a type of positive self-talk because we repeat statements to ourselves to shift our mindset in ways that make us feel more self-confident and optimistic. For example, we might say, "I am strong and capable", "I am doing my best and that is enough", or "I am capable of anything I put my mind to". These affirmations may help us feel more sure about ourselves even when our lives feel wobbly.
Practice self-compassion
We can likely decrease the negative impact of mistakes and failures by being more compassionate towards ourselves. For example, we might treat ourselves like we would treat a friend, replace our inner critic with an inner cheerleader, or remind ourselves that we are only human and we deserve to be treated kindly, at the very least by ourselves.
Find your strengths
Rather than focusing on your weaknesses or challenges, it can be helpful to focus more on your strengths. First, find your strengths by asking yourself what you're good at. Then try to focus on these strengths when and if you find that you are doubting yourself.
You can refer to this:
resiliens.com/resilify/program/how-to-overcome-perfectionism
People with perfectionism hold themselves to impossibly high standards. They think what they do is never good enough.
Some people mistakenly believe that perfectionism is a healthy motivator, but that’s not the case. Perfectionism can make you feel unhappy with your life. It can lead to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and self-harm. Eventually, it can also lead you to stop trying to succeed. Even mild cases can interfere with your quality of life, affecting your personal relationships, education, or work.
Perfectionism can affect young people as well as adults. Children and teenagers are often driven to be overachievers in their schoolwork as well as activities such as sports, clubs, community service, and jobs. This can lead to an obsession with success. Ultimately, it can interfere with the ability to achieve it.
Perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks. When healthy, it can be self-motivating and drive you to overcome adversity and achieve success. When unhealthy, it can be a fast and enduring track to unhappiness.
You can refer to this:
resiliens.com/resilify/program/how-to-overcome-perfectionism
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It’s important to dispel black-and-white misconceptions surrounding perfectionism before they squelch the ambition needed for strong, visionary leadership. Already I’m hearing more frequently from accomplished leaders (particularly women who face double-bind dilemmas) that they are increasingly afraid to hold themselves and others to high standards because they fear being labeled a rigid Type-A perfectionist who is difficult to work with.
Over-relying on any personality trait can go too far. Perfectionism is no different. Finding a happy middle ground is the best way to leverage the upsides of having high standards, while mitigating the negative effects it can have on your mental health, well-being, and relationships.
Putting your striving to positive use first requires understanding where you fall on the perfectionism spectrum, then applying it as a strength in healthier, more flexible ways.
Here are the three types of perfectionism explained by their Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale:
1. Socially Prescribed Perfectionists
Socially prescribed perfectionists are very self-critical. They feel immense pressure to be the best and worry others will reject them. Perceived external standards (which can come from family, workplace culture, society, etc.) can lead to anxiety and low confidence.
2. Other-Oriented Perfectionists
Perfectionists who are other-oriented—as in, they hold others to high standards and can be critical and judgmental—can leave destruction in their wake. It’s hard to build working relationships under these conditions, which is one reason this variety is so detrimental.
3. Self-Oriented Perfectionists
Self-oriented perfectionists are organized and conscientious. They set high standards for themselves in their lives and careers, but are able to go after their goals. High self-oriented perfectionism is generally associated with the most “adaptive” traits correlated with greater productivity and success, including resourcefulness and assertiveness. They show higher rates of positive emotion and motivation.
You can refer to this:
resiliens.com/resilify/program/how-to-overcome-perfectionism
1 reaction 
Perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks. When healthy, it can be self-motivating and drive you to overcome adversity and achieve success. When unhealthy, it can be a fast and enduring track to unhappiness.
What makes extreme perfectionism so toxic is that while those in its grip desire success, they are most focused on avoiding failure, resulting in a negative orientation. They don’t believe in unconditional love, expecting others’ affection and approval to be dependent on a flawless performance.
If you’re wondering whether you are a perfectionist, there’s a good chance you are—at least to a degree. There's also a good chance you have some investment in being a perfectionist because of the positive connotations of the word "perfect."
Perfectionists are a lot like high achievers, but with some key differences. Here we share the differences, revealing ten telltale signs of a perfectionist — signs that you may be able to spot in yourself or people you know.
You can refer to this:
resiliens.com/resilify/program/how-to-overcome-perfectionism
1 reaction 
Perfectionism, in psychology, is a broad personality style characterized by a person's concern with striving for flawlessness and perfection and is accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. It is best conceptualized as a multidimensional and multilayered personality characteristic, and initially some psychologists thought that there were many positive and negative aspects.
Perfectionism drives people to be concerned with achieving unattainable ideals or unrealistic goals that often lead to many forms of adjustment problems such as depression, anxiety, OCD, OCPD and low self-esteem. These adjustment problems often lead to suicidal thoughts and tendencies and influence or invite other psychological, physical, social, and further achievement problems in children, adolescents, and adults. Although perfectionist sights can reduce stress, anxiety, and panic, recent data, compiled by British psychologists Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill, show that perfectionistic tendencies are on the rise among recent generations of young people.
You can refer to this:
resiliens.com/resilify/program/how-to-overcome-perfectionism
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