selfImprovement

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Individualism is everywhere, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing. However, it has been corrupted to a trend-like phenomenon. Being different has become something you actively do, not already are. I would go as far as to say that how unique you are is a new way of defining your worth as a person. If you are "not like other girls", you are special and thus, more desirable as a partner or as a friend or generally more popular.

This makes uniqueness a competition: Who is the most different to everybody else? (Note that being too different is not trendy; be a special snowflake, not a weirdo.) If you spend a lot of time on social media platforms, you may have noticed that this is a common way of thinking, although it might be phrased a bit tamer. Still, the idea of being your own person has been corrupted into something far darker: the need to belong by not belonging.

But there's nothing wrong with being average - if you were average, that is. Disclaimer: You're not, even without trying. The chances you're average in every single way are nearing zero.

Average means perfect – you don't have to be either

The average person is what society is build for. Take average height doors for example: 2.30m people cannot fit.

This is not a critique (for once), because although it's not a good solution at all, there's not really a better one, either. You need to model society to some degree and modelling it to best fit the average person is still the best idea. That's because although nobody is perfectly average, many people are fairly close.

I agree that if you could be average, could become perfect, it'd be amazing. But you can't. You could become average, but you could never truly be something you just... aren't.

This entry isn't supposed to be about self-acceptance, but it seems like this is where it leads me. There's a difference between wanting to improve oneself and wanting to be someone else.

You can (and should) improve yourself without disregarding or trying to change who you truly are as a person.

For a long time, I thought the phrase "You're perfect the way you are" was wrong. I now see it in a different light. You're not perfect in the way that you're flawless; you're perfect in the way that you cannot be another person, and this is your true, ideal form. You're broken in the best kind of way, so to speak.

Don't try and corrupt or change yourself to please others. You don't have to be a special snowflake, a bad girl or guy and you don't have to dress or talk or look or behave in ways you don't want to. You don't have to conceal flaws or insecurities to fit in.

We need more genuine people, more truth, more pain, more sorrow, more unrestricted joy, more dancing, more laughing, especially online. Don't pretend to be happy, sad, depressed or modest when you're not.

The whole range of emotions you already have makes you good enough. They're valid. Your feelings always are, you can't control them, after all. They make you who you are.

#self #selfImprovement #better #perfect #perfectionism #Basic #average #valid

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Sharing page: Chapter: Shame and Its Accomplices

Hi Mighties,
I'd like to share one more page from the chapter: Shame and Its Accomplices by author (psychiatrist) Paul Conti in his book called 'Trauma The Invisible Epidemic How Trauma Works and How We Can Heal From It'

Referring to page attached:

Identifying how to manage self talk and improving self care and image.

....'Write down 3 healthy meals a day, a reliable car or not being scared at home. Writing this out can help you discover whatever basics you might be lacking and give you some ideas about what you can do to help yourself.'

Ask yourself: what are 3 basic needs you wish to improve or manage in your life?

#Selfcare #Selftalk #MentalHealth #selfImprovement #CheckInWithMe

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How to improve communicate and not just do avoidance?

With anxiety occasionally I’ll avoid things or confrontations, etc unpleasant things, or even procrastinate and so on. Does anyone have any tips to improve and or communicate better my needs or find some middle ground where everyone is happy instead of avoiding the situation in the first place? Mainly family related, but just in general want to improve on the area. Thanks!

#Anxiety #Communication #Wondering #thanks #appreciateit #selfImprovement #thanks #Trying #Depression

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Does anyone else struggle with anxiety and lying ?

White lies or major lies? To avoid confrontation, or so on I don’t typically but sometimes I do and want to work on it, just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this and anxiety.

#Anxiety #lies #feelbad #DoingMyBest #selfaware #selfImprovement #Depression #Guilt #Shame #Dontknowwhy #ThankYou #Support

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Help with work anxiety

:) I am at a new job and usually struggle to find or keep employment, so far everyone is nice and the training is better than at other places, but guess don’t want to feel alone in my struggles hiding my mental health at the workplace, maybe eventually I can reach out for help if they are accommodating, they offer some mental health supports partnerships so I’m incredibly lucky. Thanks for any tips and sharing your own story or struggles with work anxiety.

😊🙂🙂💕🙏 💼
🌻🌷❤️🌸☺️🙂

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#Newjob #Anxiety #coping #Trying #Hardwork #DoingMyBest #Hope #New #Life #struggles #Selflove #patience #growing #selfImprovement #resillience #Work #WorkAnxiety #Job #Brave #fears #Journaling #tryingtoovercomefears #SocialAnxiety #Coworkers #Nice #positive #positiveexperience

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How To Define Who You Are When You’ve Lost Part of Yourself

Hey yall,

I wanted to share my story that was syndicated by The Good Men Project. I discuss how to find your identity when you've lost part of yourself.

"The answers to these questions will, without fail, reveal your core identity. We’re going to dig deeper than activities and nouns that describe your career. You are more than that."

I hope this article is helpful!

#MentalHealth #Identity #selfImprovement #personaldevelopment #Spirituality

goodmenproject.com/featured-content/how-to-define-who-you-ar...

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I will persevere #semicolon #MentalIllness #BPD #Depression

Everyone in their lifetime has been put to the test, trials and tribulations. It’s the question of how you continue to preservere. I had this tattoo done over a year ago. Somewhere in it is the semicolon symbol. We all know what that symbol means.

Ever since I was hospitalized for attempted suicide several weeks ago I had a complete 180 turn on my life. Armed with knowledge I’ve learned from my 7 day stay, I have a better outlook on life. It didn’t matter how hard my battles were I kept going. Things are never easy, it never is. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up.

I know you’re having difficulty with getting through life. Welcome to the club but that doesn’t mean you’re throwing in the towel. You keep going and never looking back.

As for me I recently experienced a heartbreak. I’m currently grieving but I know I’ll get over the heartache. Life will go on. I’ll continue to better myself and grow. My main priority is Me.

You never stop learning, never stop improving and never give up on yourself! Make a promise to yourself. I believe in you! #believeinyourself #selfImprovement

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Misery loves company

That phrase. That phrase! Why?? I truly don’t get it. Shouldn’t you want to raise your people up? Shouldn’t you want the ones you love to succeed and be happy? If you see a loved one happy, thriving, growing, why, WHY for the life of me, would you want to ruin that? To sabotage that for them? To plant those seeds if doubt? To bring them down and bring them drama? Why would you try and persuade them to go back to the drinking, the partying, that lifestyle after having watched them transform into something beautiful. Someone who is stable and GROWING! If you feel you are being left behind, use them as inspiration and move forward with them. Grow! Spread those wings and soar along side them! Celebrate the little victories and if they need a swift kick to the buttcheek, be that kick for them! Let them be that for you. Life is hard to begin with and with “friends” like you, who needs enemies. Search within yourself for some comment decency. For some self worth. For some drive. We grew up in the same town. Same opportunities afforded to both of us. The difference is I knew I wanted more. I pushed and by the grace of God, I made it to where I am now. I have encouraged all who would listen along the way. We are not the same. You and she are not the same. Stay in your lane and let her go. Let her bloom and grow without you standing in her way. Stop being selfish. Face the fact that you’ve chosen to continue to live how you live and she is FINALLY outgrowing you. Find yourself for yourself. For your kids. She will be fine without you and that’s what you hate and fear the most. I will say a prayer for you. I will pray that God touch your heart, your soul and that you find peace your soul so needs. 🙏🏼❤️ #growthmindset #Depression #Anxiety #selfImprovement #letgo #prayingforyou #friendsforseasons #ventsession

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