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Individualism is everywhere, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing. However, it has been corrupted to a trend-like phenomenon. Being different has become something you actively do, not already are. I would go as far as to say that how unique you are is a new way of defining your worth as a person. If you are "not like other girls", you are special and thus, more desirable as a partner or as a friend or generally more popular.

This makes uniqueness a competition: Who is the most different to everybody else? (Note that being too different is not trendy; be a special snowflake, not a weirdo.) If you spend a lot of time on social media platforms, you may have noticed that this is a common way of thinking, although it might be phrased a bit tamer. Still, the idea of being your own person has been corrupted into something far darker: the need to belong by not belonging.

But there's nothing wrong with being average - if you were average, that is. Disclaimer: You're not, even without trying. The chances you're average in every single way are nearing zero.

Average means perfect – you don't have to be either

The average person is what society is build for. Take average height doors for example: 2.30m people cannot fit.

This is not a critique (for once), because although it's not a good solution at all, there's not really a better one, either. You need to model society to some degree and modelling it to best fit the average person is still the best idea. That's because although nobody is perfectly average, many people are fairly close.

I agree that if you could be average, could become perfect, it'd be amazing. But you can't. You could become average, but you could never truly be something you just... aren't.

This entry isn't supposed to be about self-acceptance, but it seems like this is where it leads me. There's a difference between wanting to improve oneself and wanting to be someone else.

You can (and should) improve yourself without disregarding or trying to change who you truly are as a person.

For a long time, I thought the phrase "You're perfect the way you are" was wrong. I now see it in a different light. You're not perfect in the way that you're flawless; you're perfect in the way that you cannot be another person, and this is your true, ideal form. You're broken in the best kind of way, so to speak.

Don't try and corrupt or change yourself to please others. You don't have to be a special snowflake, a bad girl or guy and you don't have to dress or talk or look or behave in ways you don't want to. You don't have to conceal flaws or insecurities to fit in.

We need more genuine people, more truth, more pain, more sorrow, more unrestricted joy, more dancing, more laughing, especially online. Don't pretend to be happy, sad, depressed or modest when you're not.

The whole range of emotions you already have makes you good enough. They're valid. Your feelings always are, you can't control them, after all. They make you who you are.

#self #selfImprovement #better #perfect #perfectionism #Basic #average #valid

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I just wish people wouldn’t blow me off. Or act like my feelings are too big. Or get so uncomfortable when I try express what I am going through that they get off the phone or rush the conversation. I get it’s uncomfortable, unpleasant, scary, taboo. Whatever word you want. But it is happening and it is happening to me. I need my people. They act like they can’t handle it but what about me? They may say sound selfish. But sorry your feelings are uncomfortable but I am planning my funeral so my parents know my wishes should that happen. Like get a backbone and be there!

Friend: some people can’t handle death… they can’t comprehend it.

I can’t either so it is frustrating when trying to process and people are like I don’t this well. Well **** you! I need my people. That is my biggest fear about dying. Not having my people, being without my twin, who will comfort mom who is having a nervous break down, who will take care of dad while he is aging, who will be there to hug me in the darkness? And the darkness isn’t here yet and I am already alone…

#gastroparsis #COVID #longcovid #longhauler #Stroke #Seizures #Dystonia #scared #darkness #TooBig #valid #IamVaild #Twin #DoNoLeaveMe #help

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Long covid is killing me….

I just wish people wouldn’t blow me off. Or act like my feelings are too big. Or get so uncomfortable when I try express what I am going through that they get off the phone or rush the conversation. I get it’s uncomfortable, unpleasant, scary, taboo. Whatever word you want. But it is happening and it is happening to me. I need my people. They act like they can’t handle it but what about me? They may say sound selfish. But sorry your feelings are uncomfortable but I am planning my funeral so my parents know my wishes should that happen. Like get a backbone and be there!

Friend: some people can’t handle death… they can’t comprehend it.

I can’t either so it is frustrating when trying to process and people are like I don’t this well. Well fuck you! I need my people. That is my biggest fear about dying. Not having my people, being without my twin, who will comfort mom who is having a nervous break down, who will take care of dad while he is aging, who will be there to hug me in the darkness? And the darkness isn’t here yet and I am already alone…

#Gastroperasis #COVID #longcovid #longhauler #Stroke #Dystonia #Seizures #tubie #PegTube #StarvingToDeath #IronDisorder #ImmuneDeficient #Death #FinalWishes #darkness #BigFeelings #TooBig #iamvalid #valid #LeftBehind #DoNoLeave #Twin

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Do you work?

I'm still a full time student, but I work at Christmas and during the summer holidays and am hopefully looking to getting a weekend job too. I personally don't think I should work full time as for me and my #Depression I find it really difficult. Although I've told my mom this, she's adamant that I get a full time job after university. What about you guys, do you work or not?
Remember, not everyone can work, it's just not right for them and that's okay, they are still #valid
♥️🧡💛💚💙💜

11 comments
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Trouble Validating Myself #narcissiticmother #Narcissiticabuse

Have only been separated from my narcissistic mother for a few months.
I had suppressed myself, my needs and my emotions as a person from as early as I can remember, which must be 6 years old.

I thought I was fine at first.
No one was treating me the way *she* did.

And yet, I still find it very difficult to
1. Understand my Feelings & Needs
2. Validate my Feelings & Needs
3. Nurture/Listen to my Feelings & Needs
4. Trust my Feelings.

I’m having a hard time setting boundaries and saying no to people. I don’t know how to accept my feelings and ask for things that I want (which according to my closest people, are perfectly normal things) #feelings #validation #Validity #valid #FeelingVunerable #feelingconfused #EmotionalAbuse

3 comments