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These past few days I've been thinking a lot my bad experience when I was young...I was around maybe 8-10y/o? Really not sure.. anyway so this how it goes...
When I was that age I usually go out and go to my cousins house to play..we usually watched Tom & Jerry on their living room.. all I can remember from this is that one or maybe 4 or 5 (really can't remember how many times)...their father would call me to sit on his lap..ofc I am just a child so I would go to sit since I know he is my uncle..then I remembered how he will put one of my hand inside his blue checkered boxer shorts (I have memories of some things, we all do as a child right) and he will hold me and guide me on how I should touch it...then he will put his hands inside mine and will play on it (Ofc I already know what it was all called now I am 23y/o) Since I'm very young that time I really don't have any idea what he's doing on me, if it's right or wrong #Pleasedontjudgeme I really forgot how many times it happens but as I grew up and I am finally getting into my senses and knowing already what's right or wrong then there's the last time where he did that to me and I when I got home as I'm taking a bath, I want to cry and thinking what have I done, I am afraid of how my aunt will react to what his husband did to me and she's a PWD that I am concern also. So I didn't tell anybody..I didn't tell my parents because I'm afraid of any trouble or whatever between our families... I just never go back to their house and play with my cousins anymore..
As time goes by, ofc I am forgetting it even just for awhile... but everytime I'm seeing him I always begin to think if he remembered what he did to me..Thinking if I should tell my mom..but I just always try to disregard it... then these past few days we usually sit outside their house with other cousins to talk and you know just a bonding time..I know that he's not there cuz of work so it'll be okay with me but there's a time I can see him there so it affects me again..especially now that I know what he did to me was wrong and he abuse my innocent mind. But I still don't know if I should open up to my mom, still I don't want to cause any trouble or any problem between our families especially I know that he has 2 daughters now and I feel pity on my aunt that's PWD.. :(((( #SexualAbuse #Molested #ChildAbuse
