A New Reality in Mom Stress
A New Reality in Mom Stress
Taking a little break and I feel GUILTY
I just came back from vacation with my 10 year old. I think anyone would agree that vacationing alone with children is not super relaxing.
It was a nice trip. Although we did have a boating accident and I’m not the best swimmer, so it was a bit traumatic. Saturday we stayed in, Sunday I was able to take him to the pool, monday I literally did nothing. Tuesday I mustered up strength to go to his baseball game. But I am so burnt out. I feel exhausted. I haven't worked much (I work for myself) and haven't opened my store.
I spoke to my therapist and she said that it sounds like I need a break. So yesterday I called my sons dad and asked if he could keep him last night (I didn't even go to my son's game and I never miss them) and tonight. He agreed after giving me HELLLL.
So here I am. Feeling guilty I am not working. That I am a terrible mom. Worthless. And I can't even take a break because my mind is filled with all these terrible thoughts. I feel like I need a vacation. Not sure from what...
Anyone else ever feel like this??
Hot Mess Express
I am a guilt ridden mother of four, four and under. The two oldest are twins! Yea I know - my hands are abundantly full. There is WAY more to them but I am beyond tired to even get into that. On top of their own needs I am struggling to meet (and feel like I am failing gloriously). . I am a blender of emotion, whirring at full speed with my lid bursting off spewing my contents everywhere at any moment that is most inconvenient.
I am also newly diagnosed with Bipolar II and all the fabulous things that go with it - like endless dark never ending days of exhaustive depression, bursts of rage, hypomania and debilitating anxiety. I was misdiagnosed with BPD, major depressive disorder and anxiety for over 20yrs. I am now trying to get "my sea legs" with this rush of emotion and feelings that my old medication blocked. I am learning each new day about my illness, about me and what I can and cannot do.
I cannot even imagine the thought that one or more of my children will probably go through this. I am on a constant high alert looking for signs, through their already numerous symptoms for other diagnoses to see if my Bipolar II is showing through. They aren't even five yet and this is a constant worry and out right fear. On top of my incredible Mom guilt and the numerous ways I am "ruining then" with my insane emotions to put it simply.
I am a hot mess express but I am genuinely glad to have found .. here. Reading about others gives me hope that I too, can survive all of this. If I can survive this, I know if any or all of them, God forbid get this awful illness - they will too.
Nobody Warns You…
Mom Guilt OnOur First Family Vacation
Since I started working, we have finally been having enough money to come in to just not be able to pay bills. So imagine my excitement when I planned my kids first trip ever to Sea World.
I had a full proof plan and schedule to fit as much “fun” in as possible. Interacting with the sting rays, dolphin show, orcha show, sea lion show, shark tour….
But my anxiety took over. I felt like we were rushing the whole time barely getting time to have any fun.
As much as I looked forward to the trip by the end of the day I was so exhausted from trying to make it perfect I was ready for it to be over and didn’t get to really enjoy their first time.
Has anyone else ever had this problem? How do you recover from feeling like you ruined your vacation?
Sophia baby girl
A sweet bundle of joy wrapped in a pink blanket with a big bow over your forehead and pink tiny socks that still don’t fit those tiny feet. Born a 28 weeker but you made it strong girl. I couldn’t be any happier.
It doesn't bother me staying up all night while your still awake not being able to fall asleep
Getting up every hour or so to change your dirty diapers
A little whiny because your hungry and want to feed
Sleepless nights, early mornings waking up every hour or two
Because I'm a MOTHER and I will do it for you
Because I also have the maternity mentality and won’t complain at all, it’s my job and you are my piece of heart.
Holding you in my arms all day, swaddling you to sleep and be able to keep you calm if I need to. Even though I’m dying of sleep and paralyzed on my knee,
Taking quick baths to come back to you so you won’t wake up and cry because nobody is around.
Being sleepy for the rest of the day and night because you've kept me up all night,
yes “MOTHER” that's what I am.
#MomGuilt #PostpartumDepression #Depression
Will I ever find peace? #MentalHealth
It's been 2 years since my marriage has been over. It feels like it's been 6 months and I'm barely catching my breath. I don't have social media, anything, I lost my marriage, I lost my world💔 trying to co-parent is hard enough, I never feel like I get to really let go cause he's always there. Well, recently find out through our child, he's been in paradise with someone else, for about a year now💔 I've been living in a dark cold lonely world, feeling shattered whilst he's getting whole with a new family💔 how do I carry on? How do I hear the conversations of his new love through my child, who doesn't need to see me cry whilst doing so😭💔💔 seriously, I've never felt this kind of pain.....and having to shove it down cause someone's always watching 💔 I seriously can't handle it sometimes, I get physically sick💔💔 this is a new level of heartbreak, that just keeps playing💔 help me.....
#Depression #Divorce #SuicidalThoughts #Anxiety #BipolarDepression #MomGuilt
Would anyone be interested if I started a community group for parents of children/teens who have been sexually assaulted/molested?