reason

wheredidshego: Thank you for looking over your past replies. I TRULY needed the words of kindness you shared with me 🙂 I had uninstalled the app because I didn't think anyone was 'listening' and being a newbie didn't help either. Because of the notification I received in my email, I'm reinstalling this app AND gonna learn how to navigate and participate on it instead of just reading and encouraging others to the best of my ability... #youaresoawesomeandithankyou

There’s a mental health testimony group in Hershey, PA that’s working with high school students there. It has something like 5 conferences around the US. I can’t remember what it’s called, but they’re the reason I’m sure I don’t have bipolar. The girl who was talking was saying she had 4 to 5 episodes a day where she couldn’t move. I don’t have episodes. And I’m not suicidal or self harming, though those things aren’t absolutely necessary for a diagnosis. I also don’t have mania; I’ve just always been hyperactive. I was diagnosed with adhd in kindergarten. I also didn’t get depressed until some really negative things happened in my life, so it’s not a chemical imbalance. What happened was my dad thought I should always be positive, cooperative, and obedient and he told the psychiatrist that I wasn’t at times. That was in high school. I told the psychiatrist I didn’t want to come home because my parents were oppressive and I was hoping he could tell them to back off and let me do my homework myself at the risk of not completing it and failing. He knew I was losing sleep and having random bad thoughts. But he ignored the fact that I was willfully staying up late to finish the homework, and attributed it to mania, and put me on a heavy sedative. He also attributed me avoiding home and my cynicism to depression. He also didn’t realize that I was having random bad thoughts from being half asleep, so it wasn’t really my conscious self. He could have ordered that I be forced to have a reduced courseload, but psychiatrists are all in the medication business. And the solution to a problem with a psychiatrist is not more intensive psychiatry, obviously. But that’s what happened. I know I’ve done some really stupid stuff, but it has nothing to do with my mood, just bad learning and context errors. It’s been 16 years, and now I’m forced to rely on medication to stay on social security, because the people at my last job wanted me to leave and they harassed me until I left. But the way they were doing it made my family think I was having delusions. So it was back to the chopping block. There’s a lot of other forces that are involved that I’d like to reverse so I could achieve the things I should have, but that would take a lot of power and money. (I have also tagged Autism because I was briefly diagnosed with pdd nos and treated for autism; I find that psychiatrists favor “harder” diagnoses like schizophrenia if people have more difficult lives, as opposed to looking for actual pathology) #BipolarDisorder #ADHD #Autism #Schizophrenia #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Medication #reason #Dignity

#CheckInWithMe
Today focus on the positives,if we keep spending time focusing on the bad things and negative vibes we will missed the chances on dedicating that space on the good things to come and the positive we can get out of it... #everything #HAPPENS #for #a #reason !# LEAVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!

#why #whyIkeepgoing #lost #found #tried #failed #reason

I’ve had nothing, I’ve had everything ...
I’ve been lost, I’ve been found ...
I’ve tried, I’ve failed ...
But I have never given up ...

Because no matter what, I have two children that I will provide for, regardless of that it takes...

They’ll never go without, they’ll never need, they’ll always have me ...

They are my ‘why’, they are my reason for living, they are my existence, they are Ari and Mason.

We all have our ‘Why’ .. what is yours .. ?

I have a reason for my happiness.
Well, in the last couple of months, a ton of food went missing. Like, over $250 worth. A bunch of it was blamed on me, and it was found out last night that it was all my step brother. Most of it was found, and he admitted to it all, but not willingly. Also, there was about $100 of clothing destroyed. I am finally not being blamed for it! It feels good to be off the hook for it.
It also feels good knowing that my family sees me as not guilty of it anymore too. I'm not happy because he's in trouble, I'm happy because I'm finally proven innocent after months of them all thinking it was me.

#knowing Christ is pure #Love for all who believe #& don't believe, and I'm one of his children! This makes me feel like #living for others, not just myself. Gives me a #reason to wake up.
#dailyaffirmation #