Siblings

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I've finally told my mom that after considering, I plan to move with my dad, and said that it had nothing against her. She was offended, she even said it, too. Continuously guilt-tripping me with words like "I do everything I can for you, and yet you still chose him over me."

I told her to stop guilt-tripping me and told her numerous times that it had nothing against her. She acted like she wasn't offended and understood my decision, but as someone with autism and whose mother has been mentally abusive for most of my life, I knew she was deep down. She denied that she was guilt-tripping, and has even accused me of guilt-tripping her when I said out loud that I then wanted to kill myself (out of stress, disbelief, and not wanting to deal with the pain anymore). Not to mention that I was just looking for ways to kill myself three days ago because of this stupid society. She even said something like "how can you get mad at me when everyone else in the world does that" when I mentioned that she used to fat-shame me, shame me for not taking showers at times and compared me to others, etc... she even denied that she even MOCKED me because she thought that I was offended, when really I couldn't hear her the first time, and I told her that, too!!

I don't fucking care if she started to talk in a more understanding matter and was no longer offended and acts like she actually cares about me (like she does every fucking time we have start an argument), I'm not forgiving her for saying those things. At this point, she doesn't deserve it. One of my queerplatonic partners (not friends, but not romantic) is now pissed.. well, every one of my partners are now pissed at her at this point, and are very glad that I chose to move in with my dad instead of staying with her. She has never changed when it comes to my dad. I'm honestly very disappointed that she even acted that way. I'm fucking 21 years old, a fucking adult who can make their own fucking decisions, and yet she still hasn't changed. 😞😡

I already don't like my (older) sister very much, either, because I always feel like she gaslights me whenever we get into conflict as well.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #Anxiety #Family #FamilyAndFriends #GuiltTrip #SocialAnxiety #moving #SocialAnxietyDisorder #Disappointed #MentalHealth #WOW #Parent #Parents #mentalabuse #Abuse #Siblings #Gaslighting

I just feel so blessed to have been lucky enough to be living this journey with Noah and it makes his siblings macey and Noah and cousins aware of Down’s syndrome, at the moment Noah is Noah and Noah always will be Noah in our friends and family’s life’s but there is a lot of ignorant people out there and Noah will never ever be made to feel any different, and he’s absolutely rocking his alopecia 💙💛 #DownsSyndrome #Alopecia #Siblings #loveourjourney

Do you remember that children’s song, “There’s a hole in my bucket Dear Liza, Dear Liza, We’ll that’s how I’m feeling. This past year has been particularly painful! Now the holidays are here and the hole in my bucket is getting larger. I’m married and am close to my husband’s family, but am estranged from mine. I miss my closest in age sibling intensely and unfortunately can’t find a path to reconnect to him. I’ve burned all my bridges to the ground. I wish that I had at least one of my own blood relatives as a connection. I’m grateful for my husband and his family but I miss my own bloodline. #Loneliness #Siblings .

I spoke to my younger sister yesterday(we’re flying back East for my youngest nephew’s b’ar mitzvah). At some point, I mentioned the dates that we were thinking of flying out. Her response? When you visit someone, it’s nice to give them dates. Does she think I was born under a rock? That’s why I started the conversation Yesterday. As someone who lives in the Disabled community, my whole life is about Logistics(figuring out where that piece of the puzzle goes). Yeah, but Erika this is my puzzle is the response I got from her. HELP!
If she weren’t 3,000 miles away, I’d have a conversation about how she “really” sees me.