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“I’m exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel.” Hit home for me, I always am at a lost for words. This right here hit the nail on the head. I am exhausted. I am exhausted from fighting an invisible fight. I am exhausted from feeling along. I am exhausted for doing a bear minimum. I constantly am tracking my spoons, I have to reserve two just to make it to and from work not including the spoons I need to function at work. I am exhausted that there seems to be no light. I am exhausted from feeling exhausted. I am exhausted from having to rely on others when I am usly the one that everyone goes to. The list could go on. #MixedConnectiveTissueDiseaseMCTD #Depression #stepparent #Anxiety #stressed #spiral #NeedSupport #exhausted #Trauma #RaynaudsPhenomenon

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Up to this point…

For the last few years, I’ve been grappling with the issue of wanting acknowledgment from my mom’s husband. I’ve had the hardest time not going back to an “empty well” (so to speak) when it comes to this. I even struggle with that when it comes to her. But as of the last few months, in and out of therapy, I’ve been able to get a hold of myself. I had to be very honest with every aspect of myself. From my younger self to my adult self. And the truth is this: I don’t love my step parent and I never did. I went along with all the family stuff because I felt that that was what I was supposed to do. I didn’t talk about my family to anyone in detail because it made me angry. I kept quiet because I was on survival mode both when things were bad and when things were stable. I allowed this “perfect family “ image to last so long because I didn’t want to rock the boat. On top of all of this, I did what I did to keep my mom happy. I had no real identity. I felt restricted, I didn’t even want to invite my friends over (I didn’t really have that option either). After realizing that he is a narcissist, it explained a lot, but it didn’t take away the hurt and frustration. I’ve had three major deaths in my family and he didn’t say a word to me (and we live in the same apartment). In some articles I’ve read about narcissistic step parents, they’ve said that we should show compassion towards them even though they don’t show that they care about us. The truth is, the compassion is no longer in me. I’ve gotten to the point where if I ever got anything out of him, I would no longer want it. I waited this long for some form of a fatherly gesture and I think I can go on without it (from him). I’ve had many stand in male figures in my life that were positive and I welcome those relationships. I’m just over faking it to the rest of the world. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #stepparent #movingforward #Grief


Sad I’m never going to be a mom. 😢😣

I could really use some “I get it”-type comments if you’re out there. I’m so envious of my boyfriend being a parent. I missed my “chance.” We recently moved in together. Tonight his son is going to his first homecoming. And I …well, I’m grateful I’m getting to share these experiences as a stepmom in the making, but the fact I won’t ever experience them as an actual mother hurts! Especially because my depression, my anxiety, and my other emotional issues, are a big reason why I’m childless. I hate this.
#stepparent #sad #lonely #envious #jealous #Depression #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #Childless


#RelationshipsSo yest#step erday I walked away again. I feel like I've nothing left.

I find myself arguing with the sk 8 and 9 asking them to do little things like going to take the pet a walk, picking dirty washing up, brushing teeth etc etc and getting a flat refusal so disheartening.

And to then myself be corrected on how I go about parenting them in front of them is demoralising. I feel like I can do no wrong from right.

It feels like I'm the one who has to make the changes to how I interact with them, trying to get them off their gadgets is such a nightmare.

My own kids have grown up and I didnt realise how hard it would be trying to settle into step parenting.

I did enjoy the early days but the last year has been hard for both my Wife and I,
Perhaps it's for the best that we do split up and we can try to both move on.

My wife really does care for me though and I know it's hard for her with me doing this #stepparent


Feel suffocated

This is a difficult post for me to write but I am really struggling with the prospect of becoming a step parent to a young adult with severe special needs. I feel like such a bad person but I’m not sure I’m up for the job so to speak. I feel so irritated by the constant verbal noises and the 24 hour attention he needs i find it very draining and pushes my mental health down wards as I feel in turmoil over this. I am considering calling off my engagement to my fiancé even though he’s such a good man whom I love dearly . I just don’t think I can do this for the rest of my life


#stepparent How to get my kids to not disrespect my wife.

My daughters make my wife feel uncomfortable in her own house. They blatantly ignore her feelings, glare at her walking around the house. There are so many things that happen and I don’t see them. This then causes issues between my wife and I because I am not defending her. Help!

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