NeedSupport

I didn’t eat enough today. That was one of my goals. Five days in a row of eating enough and I’m going to miss day six.

It doesn’t help that the ala I added to my shakes makes them super gross. (I’m gonna need to go back to capsules.)

I did take all the probiotics I’m hoping will fix my dysbiosis. I did take the supplements I’m hoping with heal the nerve damage. And I drank the juice I’ve added to my diet for nutrients.

But I’m at half the number of shakes I’m supposed to drink today and I just want to go to give up and go to bed.

How do you eat enough when you’re almost never hungry? When even the one time a day when you are hungry, you’re not interested in food? Or when you usually really don’t want it. And when you do eat, you often get sick?

Eating enough is supposed to help you sleep better. I can’t sleep most nights. Really high cortisol.

I left off the idiopathic part and looked up “autonomic neuropathy,” and it’s either reversible/treatable or I’ll lose this battle in 6-9 years. I already feel like I’ve lost so much over the last year and I know there are people who have it worse than me.

I just could really use some support tonight. And maybe someone who would be willing to eat and sleep for me because I really need that. (Though I’m depressed too and the limited sleep I get is my only reprieve from reliving this same day over and over.)

I’m just so tired. And I’m tired of everything being so hard. And I’m tired of having to go through all this stuff alone. And not having anyone to talk to about it.

I’m tired of trying stuff that doesn’t work. Tired of spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on stuff that doesn’t fix what needs fixing. Tired of doctors not knowing what they’re doing. Tired of their bandaids. Tired of forcing myself to eat all day. Of not being able to sleep all night. I’m tired of my brain not working as well as it did even a year ago. Even six months ago. I’m tired of losing functionality in general. It feels like it’s happening so fast.

Two summers ago, I could be outside. Not anymore. It’s too hot. A year ago I was hiking regularly. A few months ago, I didn’t have to wonder if I’d be able to hike today. Now, it’s a question. I aspirate more. I sleep less. Part of my foot is numb now and I can feel the neuropathy all along my left side. I can’t always breathe. Sometimes for what seems like no reason. I have tachycardia that just started one day and never left. My hr jumps up to 120-155 for reason every day. And apparently drops down to like 55 when I’m awake. (But it’s average is in the 80s when I’m asleep.)

Eating has been hard for a long time but it’s harder now. I get hungry like once, when I first wake up. I never really want food. I don’t remember it. I get hypoglycemic, but can’t tell because my hands don’t shake anymore, I just get tired. But I’m always tired, so I don’t know what to do with that. I can’t eat much real food. My body just won’t accept it. I have to thin out my shakes to trick my body into thinking it’s just a beverage. No need to reject this.

Tired of doing this all alone. Tired of people really not getting it.

I’m just really tired. Really overwhelmed. I could use a hug.

#Dysautonomia #AutonomicNeuropathy #NeedSupport #tired

What do people typically do when they feel overwhelmed and lonely? I can't get ahold of my therapist and I wish I could talk to someone I know and trust. My heart is so very sad and broken. My motivation and spirit are crushed. There is alot going on right now. I'm so very low.

#feelingoverwhelmed #Heartbroken #lonely #NeedSupport #cantfindmotivation #crushedspirit #missmytherapist #lookingforhope #mentalhealthmatters #reachout

I Need Support living with someone with #BipolarDisorder . Been some real highs and lows . Not sure how to help, when it seems like I’m the one person that may be pushing them over the edge . I need help ,I don’t know how to help when they say all I do is hurt. #NeedSupport

Hi all,
This is my first post. More looking for someone who can relate and give me some advice. I have bipolar I and I’m crashing down from an extended manic episode where I was convinced that the diagnosis was wrong so I started going off my meds. During those “manic months” I wrote a book about the abuse I’ve endured and made a lot of progress around my childhood abuse with EMDR therapy. As I stabilize, I’m going back to doubting myself and all that I’ve been through. I’m blaming myself for distancing from abusers and telling myself I made it all up. I’m embarrassed by my writing, and I’m struggling with thoughts of suicide.
I have a great team of doctors but they don’t get it. No one can explain why being back on meds makes me doubt that the abuse ever occurred, but I feel like I’m losing my mind and stuck in a cycle of self hatred.
Anyone ever experience anything like this? I also have a diagnosis of ptsd but as I accept the bipolar, I all of a sudden don’t believe the ptsd is real.
Any words of wisdom or just relating in general would be so helpful! Thank you 🤍🤍 #BipolarDisorder #CPTSD #SuicidalThoughts #SelfDoubt #selfhatred #NeedSupport

I have had surgery for my right ovarian cyst near the end May did not expect to come of surgery and suffer catatonia from general anesthesia. I ended up in a catatonic state after surgery after anaesthesia and was moved by ambulance from the private hospital where I had my surgery to a public hospital ICU for three days and then to neurology ward where I had lost the use of my right side. I woke up not able to use my right side and lost all of my independence that day when I woke up. I was diagnosed with FND and eventually told there was nothing could do and sent me home on a stretcher after weeks in hospital via medical ambulance transport. Now home I m so depressed because before all of this I had my independence even though I was limping to get around but now my right side is useless and I have to relearn everything. I feel like a burden to everyone cause need their help. I need rehab but it is not possible right now cause of really strict lockdown where I live and support cannot even come to my house to give me support. I m trying not to give up. Can anyone talk with me? #NeedSupport #depress

I’ve noticed lately I get panic attacks before I have to work. Lately the job has been stressing me out and now I’m experiencing physical symptoms of how I don’t want to go. It’s just exhausting to be treated badly. I have bipolar disorder and am still learning to cope and understand how it effects my life. I’m so bad at spending money, I do it impulsively and without thinking sometimes. I mostly do it cause I want to few good about myself and sometimes I feel like i don’t have anyone to talk too. I rather not upset anyone. Lately I have been crying a lot. I’m trying my hardest to not let this get to me. I find writing helps and making art but having an anxiety about work is upsetting me. Some positive words would be greatly appreciated! 💜 #Anxiety #Life #BipolarDisorder #NeedSupport #Depression