Childless

I could really use some “I get it”-type comments if you’re out there. I’m so envious of my boyfriend being a parent. I missed my “chance.” We recently moved in together. Tonight his son is going to his first homecoming. And I …well, I’m grateful I’m getting to share these experiences as a stepmom in the making, but the fact I won’t ever experience them as an actual mother hurts! Especially because my depression, my anxiety, and my other emotional issues, are a big reason why I’m childless. I hate this.
#stepparent #sad #lonely #envious #jealous #Depression #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #Childless

I’m 34 years old and I survived two abusive relationships. I was highly successful prior to these relationships and I always thought I would be a mother. I built my life to be a mom. What do you do when you lose your dreams? I don’t have a support system anymore and I feel like I’m slowly being tortured while I watch everyone else move on.
#Childless

I know someone who is older middle-aged, childless due to an early divorce and then years of frustrated relationships. She became suddenly unfriendly with me when my wife had our baby. Is it common for those who are childless by circumstance to be angry with/avoid people with children?

I was just 24 when I found myself being rushed by ambulance to the neuro ICU unit at the state’s biggest hospital two hours away from home. Over the course of the next 24 hours I kept getting more and more devastating news about what was happening to me: “Stroke” “Inoperable” “Brainstem Malformation” “Pray for her”...

Those words have faded away over the past five years, but the words that hurt the most and have caused the most heartache still resonate in my soul every day, “Pregnancy is out of the question”.

Actually, at the first I was in so much shock about how I could go from being a perfectly healthy newlywed to a hospital patient that narrowly escaped death that those words didn’t mean anything. I was ALIVE! I was physically fine! I had a medical miracle and survived the impossible. It’s not like we were trying to have kids at the time and I figured if I really wanted kids someday that it would somehow work out, just like everything else was.

After 5 years, 4 nieces and nephews, 1000 baby showers, and being asked “When are you going to have a baby??” about one too many times, those words, “Pregnancy is out of the question”, are now a sharp ice pick to my heart.

I’m now approaching 30, I’ve been married for over 7 years, and society never seems to let me forget my childlessness. I actually don’t mind when people ask if I have children. That’s harmless. My go-to answer is usually, “No, but I have a dog that I smother with love. Let me show you a million pictures...” because I HAVE to change the subject as fast as possible.

A word of advice? If you ask someone if they have kids and they say no, drop it like it’s hot. ABORT. I don’t care if you are the most extra Curious Cathy, please don’t relentlessly ask why or give advice. If they want to talk about it more, they will. But damn Cathy, I just met you and I’m not prepared to burst into tears in public... again.

I don’t look sick, in fact I look like the model of health, so people just assume my childlessness is a choice. “You would be a great mom!” “I had three kids by the time I was your age. The clock is ticking!” “Just try!” “What’s wrong? You don’t want kids?” And oh the cherry on the top, “God commanded us to replenish the earth.”

Sometimes I explain that I have health problems but it’s just met with more advice about adoption and miracles, God’s plan for me, everything works out for a reason, etc. I smile politely. I fight back the tears. And try to change the subject.

So what’s it like being #Childless ? For me it’s grief, loneliness, worthlessness, and pain. It’s also relief and freedom. It’s a path to self discovery and fulfillment. It’s depression and anxiety. It’s guilt because I have so many things to be grateful for. It’s questioning faith. It’s raging jealousy. It’s never ending and unfair. It’s FOMO on steroids. It’s watching my husband struggle in his own way. Most of all- it is fighting for a sliver of hope every day that I can find peace with the life I am living

How many of you have considered coming off social media?
I find my depression is heightened through Facebook and Instagram.
I know it’s a false reality, and people only show their best bits.. but it often highlights what I feel is missing in my life and I’m constantly comparing myself to others. But then, if I came off social media, I would be worried I might feel lonely and even more disconnected from the world. Being 30 and childless hurts when all you see constantly are baby pictures, pregnancy announcements & happy families. It really hurts :(
#SocialMedia #Depression #Comparison #Jealousy #Childless #Emptynest #Emptiness #Heartache

I’m 27 and still single. I have moved around a lot internationally, so I guess it makes sense that I’ve been single for the past 5 years, but I already know that I will most likely have fertility issues and lately I’ve just been in despair that I won’t meet someone and will never have the baby Or family I’m so desperate for. I have dated a LOT, and I am currently taking a break from it because I’m so discouraged, bitter, and sad. My depression and anxiety do not help with this issue. Do any of you out there also struggle with a similar feeling, and if so, how do you cope and remain hopeful? #lonely #Childless #Endometriosis #Depression

I feel as if I deserve the hell Im living, yet Im so tired of the effort it takes to live this life. I've been able to sleep and relax since my husband has been gone. He returns today and Im dreading it. I thought of killing myself because I can't do this anymore and I don't have the strength to leave him, either. He's a great man. I married him out of obligation because I got pregnant. Even after I miscarried, I felt obligated to marry him. I knew I wouldn't be happy with him. Yet, he was the first man to really love me and he wanted to marry me. There's so much shame & guilt for what Ive done to our lives. I want to live out my Catholic faith, yet I died and stopped living 10 years ago - shortly after we met and after the miscarriage. I used to be full of life, now I just try to survive it. If you comment, please don't bash the Catholic Church. I'm really not in the place to be able to read those comments.