Suicidal Thoughts

Today, in a few hours, I'll be transferred to the clinic.

I visited it yesterday and I loved it. A friend has to bring me my stuff from my student appartement.

Changes are really hard for me. But it's better than this hospital. I hate hospitals. I hate the doctors and nurses here.

In a few hours, the first 48h I'll have no contact with the exterior (phone, visits, etc...) the first weekend no permission to leave for half a day or a day. Next weekend I'll be able to leave for half a day or a day.

Permissions are only for the weekends.

Phones are allowed between 2:30pm and 6pm except Thursday (1:30pm to 6pm).

It was either the clinic or the hospital anyway as I have no choice. Can't return home or anything.

Im scared, but im exited to leave this horrible hospital.

I asked if I could go with my friend to bring my stud but the hospital refused. I can't leave. But it's just better if it's me I know my stuff. I hate people going through my stuff. I hate that.

But I have no choices, so we'll FT and I'll guide her..

Healing is so scary. Visits are only from 4:30pm to 6pm weekdays and 2:30pm to 6pm weekends.

It's hard because I'll be alone. I know no one. I'm extremely shy and not comfortable for society.

I'm used to that one really close friend. She's my emergency contact and I'm her's too.

I hate new things l.

But I'll be okay, it's for my mental health so I can be okay..

Ill be okay..

Well I guess.. maybe one day...

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Autism #EatingDisorder #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SocialAnxiety

I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was 15 or 16.

I still don’t know how or why it began.

That moment marked the start of an invisible war within me—

a quiet, persistent pain that no one could see.

From the outside, everything seemed fine.

But on the inside, I was drowning in something I couldn’t explain.

Those thoughts lingered for years, always in the background,

whispering in moments of weakness,

trying to surface when I was most vulnerable.

I tried twice to leave this world. I didn’t succeed.

And whether that was unfortunate or fortunate, I don’t know.

But I’ve carried the weight of depression, anxiety, and a deep sense of worthlessness ever since.

There were times when the idea of “peace”

felt like the only way to end a pain I couldn’t name.

Even though life around me was "normal,"

my mind remained a dark, relentless storm.

I remember once, someone told me,

“If you really wanted to die, you would have succeeded.”

At the time, I felt rage—

how could they say that? They had no idea.

No idea what it’s like to wake up every day

battling a voice that tells you you don’t belong.

But looking back, maybe they were partially right.

Because deep down, I didn’t want to die—

I just wanted the pain to stop.

Over the years, I tried to heal in different ways.

There were still moments when that thought crept back in,

always lurking,

waiting for an opening.

And I kept asking myself:

Why do I feel this way?

What am I running from?

Why is it always dark?

Later, I learned my mother had suffered from severe depression and bipolar disorder.

And something about knowing that helped.

It wasn’t all my fault.

Maybe my brain was wired this way.

Maybe this was more than just me being "weak."

That realization gave me space to breathe.

And somehow, after all these years—

I don’t know how or when—

something shifted.

It wasn’t a loud change.

It was a quiet, sudden click.

One day, I simply thought:

I don’t want to die anymore.

I want to live.

I want to see more.

I want to feel the light.

And slowly—bit by bit—

the light began to shine through the cracks of my broken mind.

The thoughts that haunted me for so long?

They’re gone now.

And I don’t know how I survived… but I did.

I wish I could show others the way out—

but I know healing is personal.

It’s a fight that only you can face.

Still, if you’re reading this,

if you’re still here,

then please believe this:

There is still a crack in the darkness.

And through that crack,

a light is waiting to shine.

“This is something I’ve carried for a long time. I’m not sharing for sympathy—I’m sharing because I know someone else might need to know they’re not alone.”

#MentalHealth #DepressiveDisorders #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

I can’t believe I am going through with it but I am. I am breaking all my bonds in this world and feel terrible for what I’m about to do but there’s no other possible solution. Not sure when or how but it’s on, and soon, man.

My fiancé and I have had a major blow up today and I am triggered, triggered, triggered. I don’t feel like he is being honest and actually it’s ok. The arguing is over and I can be free, finally.

I’m going to miss the real and only true love of my life and that is my dog, Sam. I have to believe he will be ok. I am praying our souls will remember each other in our next life together because I am determined to seek him out. I feel like we’ve been traveling together for eternity. Surely, we will continue to do so.

I am so happy to have had the opportunity to share my experiences here. More love and acceptance with the Mighty peeps than anywhere else! Much love to you all and please continue to support each other with love and compassion. That’s the only way. Until we meet again ❤️🙏😘 #SuicidalThoughts #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #Osteoporosis #SpinalStenosis #chronic pain

It's the loneliest feeling in the world-to find yourself standing up when everybody else is sitting down. To have everybody look at you and say, 'What's the matter with him?' I know. I know what it feels like. Walking down an empty street, listening to the sound of your own footsteps. Shutters closed, blinds drawn, doors locked against you. And you aren't sure whether you're walking toward something, or if you're just walking away. #Depression #Anxiety #Grief #SuicidalThoughts

Hi, my name is alexis. I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ADHD, an eating disorder, depression, body dysmorphia, shoulder tendinopathy, chronic migraines, and more:)

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Migraine #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder #EatingDisorder #ChronicDailyHeadache #ChronicPain #SuicidalThoughts

Hi, my name is Catwomance. I'm here because I have struggled with major depressive disorder for several years now. I had ups and downs, and I thought it might be a good idea to connect with others who are dealing with similar issues

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #SuicidalThoughts #PanicAttacks

Hi, my name is princesss_Arley.

#MightyTogether #BPD #Anxiety #ADHD #PTSD #EatingDisorder #BodyDysmorphia #BulimiaNervosa #BipolarDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Dysgraphia #Dyslexia #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

With all the loss I’ve endured over the last couple of years, losing my son and wife within 15 months and then watching my mom decline from alzheimers and eventually watching her pass, I don’t feel like I can feel anything anymore. I’m in a fairly new relationship with a woman I’ve known for 25 years. I say I love her but the truth is that I feel nothing. I do know I love her but I’ve seemed to have lost the ability to feel anything. I don’t get mad, sad, angry, none of it. I know I haven’t truly grieved for my mom though it’s been less than a year. I try to act like I have feelings but I just don’t. There’s something wrong with me. Most days I feel despair and want to die, but again there’s no true feelings. Have I lost the ability to feel? It sure seems that way. #SuicidalThoughts #Grief #Depression #Anxiety