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Custody battle with my abuser

There is no easy way to go about this.. I feel so alone...

I live in Ontario. I'm currently in the middle of a custody battle with my abuser and I'm unsure how it's going to turn out.. as of right now we have a temp order, my children see him twice a week for an hour and every other weekend for over night sleepovers. First weekend he told my oldest I'm a liar because I had him charged for what he did to me just before Christmas. Following weekend after my oldest didn't want to go so my youngest went by herself, he told her I tried to keep her and her sister away from him, also tried to gain information from her like asking her if the house is clean ect.. clearly spending his time either manipulating our children or trying to find something to use against me in court...

I've never been more stressed than going through this with him.. I'm scared and worried the court system is going to fail me and my girls. Can anyone else relate? How did your custody battle go with your abuser?

#survior #Abuse #ChildCustody #Stress

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#TraumaticBrainInjury #survior ’s #Agenda

I am learning. Yesterday, I was completely off from all activities and rested solely as a means of recovery. So I started my early morning panic as I hear the city’s commuters filling the streets. I decided to write down—and out—my racing thoughts. Suddenly, I stopped writing and trying to analyze my emotions as I told myself, “Hey, I don’t have time to do this, I am missing out on my agenda. I have some resting to do.”

And for the first time during this eight month medical leave, I realized, the goal of the leave is to stop thinking, analyzing, lamenting, figuring out a workout regime, and stop playing app games that require problem solving according to times I once set. I have one goal on my agenda: rest, rest, rest my brain.

So now I sit waiting for a bus after taking a wonderful walk outdoors. I completed errands that felt more like fun adventures as time was NOT the goal of this outing. And I watched my bus pass the store as I talked to the cashier, to talk, and not to hurry them up so I can run and flag down the bus to return home to accomplish……what….nothing. I am at rest even when commuting through an active city’s streets. And THAT is #TheMighty reward I have gained since being introduced to #Selfcare on this site.

#ThankYou !

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Nobody talks about the feelings of being left behind while you watch peers enjoy life and achieve goals. They can’t see how you’re trying to repiece your life back together in the dark. The criticism of why you can be like other people your age. Or they you’re supposed to be focused on your career/retirement/family obligations.

Rarely see anyone appreciate how hard it is to get out of bed, pushing away thoughts of worthlessness, finding every way to wish these feelings away.

It’s always why you don’t hang out with us anymore? Why haven’t you found a good job yet? Why aren’t you making friends? Why are you single? Why can’t you be like you used to?

Nobody understands that’s there’s no going back. Coming back to yourself is more like a new becoming. An uphill battle that unfortunately doesn’t always end victorious.

These are just my thoughts. #Survivor


I’m a expert at social distancing #CVID#MBL #alpha1

As a person home bound with no immune system I’ve become a pro at social distancing but I’m human and now more than ever we need to reach out. I may be wheelchair bound home mound but, it would be nice to get a check in some one who just wants to know I’m ok. We all have this who call to chat with the how are you but don’t really want to know they fill obligated to ask. Please everyone if your mentally or physically able reach out with a sincere heart even if it’s once a week with the only intention of asking your love one or friend how they are not to go one a hour chat about your problems and I guarantee when you least expect it you’ll get the same type call in return. I know many of us aren’t able handle long conversations I’m not but, to know one person cares and checks on you just because they care can change there whole day. So how are you today? Please drop a comment check in I care. I want everyone to be brutally honest we all sugar coat I’m the best someone asks I’m always fine but I’m not. So really how are you. If you need to vent let it go. I care how you are not the I’m doing ok I’m filling better but, think before you respond... How are you physically and mentally? I myself am having a hard day I had a infusion this am amd two more this week the three week treatments are tough. I over see my grandma with dementias care she’s right next door yet other than the camera system in place and videos and pictures I can’t lay my hands on her she’s my reasonfor getting up every day to make sure she’s took care of I miss her touch her rubbing my face holding my hand me rubbing her head. See it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. So how are you today? I’m sending all my fellow warriors big gentle hugsxxxx know your not alone and I care and want to know.... How are you honestly.. #Generalizedtorsiondystonia #POTS #hymomobilityeds #TraumaticBrainInjury #strokesurvior #CVID #Scoliosis #alpha1 #Fibromyalgia #InvisibleIllness #Wheelchairlife #Parkinsonisms #OrganFailure #survior #defetingdeppression #victornotavictim #childabusesurvivor