I was in the most pain I had ever been in my life , high as a kite , in clinical , sterile , terrifying ICU .
When I learned the world continued to spin , even when I wasn’t really a part of it ,
And believe me , that is a heartbreaking , terrifying and eye opening thing to learn when you are 17 .
But heck . Getting half your liver removed will teach you a lot of things .
I remember after one night in particular, the roughest night I had ever had an honestly felt shocked I survived . I had this darkness come over me .
Like every good and happy thought about my life had completely vanished .
And I came to the conclusion that to stay sane . I would find one good thing in every day .
Even if it just was that “ The nurse had really cute hair “
Or “ I was in a bit less pain than yesterday “ or “. I only puked 5 times today instead of 10 “
And “ finding that good “ is a little tool I’ve used almost every day sense .
On my worst days. I’ll try to find the good . Even one ounce of good.
Whether it be a sunflower growing outside , a really yummy sandwich . the sunset , someone opening a door for me . or someone who has an insanely good laugh .
And I’ll hold onto that good like it’s a life preserver in the midst of a tsunami.
But this silly little “life hack “
Has taught me one thing .
That the quote is true that “ Where there is good , there is God”
HE is the one who paints the sky every night .
He made the field of flowers , he personally designed that sunflower growing across the road , and I bet he knew it would make me smile .
His love can be found in random unnecessary but amazing acts of kindness.
The purpose he gave us to “have joy “. Can even be found in a incredible laugh that lights up the room.
When I find myself complaining that “ life is hard “
Or “ God must not hear my prayers.because I’ve never gotten my miracle “
I forget that he gives us a million little miracles each and every day .
We just have to take the time to see them.
I don’t believe that happiness , true happiness is the result of “ everything going right”
But true happiness comes when your grateful to God for everything you have ❤️.
And believe me . This is something I am FAR from perfect at applying in my own life .
But as happiness seemed to be the theme of the talks at church today .
And with how hard the past couple of days have been .
It was just this beautiful little reminder of all the amazing things God has given me ❤️
#smileon🐷 #spoonie #faith #christianblogger #thechurchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints #CVID #UCTD #Tumor #autoimmune