toughfewdays

it’s been a couple of rough weeks lately. This year was supposed to be my year of attending university, but i came across obstacles. firstly most universities couldn’t accept me because there was no space and other universities couldn’t accept me because i didn’t qualify enough for their courses. i felt so inadequate. So now i found a school for performing Arts. and Performing arts is really my passion. it’s what i want to study most in this world. The school is so expensive and i feel like such a burden to my parents. My mom said i shouldn’t worry about the cost , she’ll make a plan but it still doesn’t sit well with me because we’ve been worrying about it ever since. we’re all so scared. we’ve tried so many schools, i even offered to stay at home and find a job or volunteer at places so i can apply for a cheaper school next year. on top of that we’ve been arguing a lot lately. My dad doesn’t support me at all. i really don’t have a proper relationship with him. all we do is fight. i feel like such a burden. like i shouldn’t have been born. i really don’t know what to do. i could use some words of encouragement and hope. i’m really praying for a breakthrough 😔 #Anxiety #anxious #Worried #worry #Burden #Nohope #worthless #School #Fear #Inadequate #scared #Hope #encouragement #light #toughfewdays #depressed #Depression

I wrote a post a few weeks back about how much my Labrador means to me; all he's done. Seeing his little grey hairs, him starting to become stiffer, the past few days have showed me we're truly closer to being without each other.

I'm more overwhelmed with gratitude than I am with sadness, sad just isn't the right word. That little animal means the world and more to me, and all I feel is how grateful that I am that's I had him all these years. I truly believe that I wouldn't of met certain milestones had I not had him at my side. Never truly walking alone.

Inside, my heart is breaking. Its the weight in my chest that shows me that this is all really happening. You think you can plan for this, but all I can plan is to make my furry friend as comfortable and happy as I can. He's currently tucked up in his old man bed with his bear, happily snoring.

He checks on my emotions constantly, I've really kept it all together. especially in front of him. But now he's sleeping and I've a moment to myself, its all just crashing into me like waves.

I've been through more than I wish to mention, between diagnoses and surviving trauma, getting hospitalised and losing my rights as a person. But this is going to be the biggest test of all, losing my truest friend.

Despite the tears, I'm just so happy to be healthy and stable. To be in a position to look after him the way he's always done for me. Being here with him in at this time means a lot to me.

This is your time my love, to be cared for and loved unconditionally. Thank you for the most beautiful memories that I can treasure forever.

You were there for my family and friend's as much as you were for me, even now. I'll tear up while you sleep, but I'll be strong till the end. Just like you've done for me.

Thank you more than anything in the world for making my life bright at the darkest of points. You've helped me in more ways than even I will understand ✨ 🐾

#toughfewdays #CheerMeOn