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    Disabled or apathetic? MS, PTSD, chronic pain, depression,… really? How do I live this way?

    I wake up every day hoping the #fog will clear but it rarely ever does. It’s like being #underground and seeing the #light and #goals way above but they’re hardly visible. I feel like I’m trying to figure out how to navigate and get up there, over one the #Pain and #Fatigue , and just see the light. Each day seems harder and I am continually being beaten down by societies demands just to stay alive, live, eat, breathe, function and get any type of care. My family has #Abandoned me because, as my sister said. “She just can’t.” My children have not abandoned me but they have their lives and because it’s so hard to travel, or get through each day, seeing them is rare. The bank is trying to take my house, just because they want it and not because I don’t, or can’t pay. I feel numb inside and scared. What happens if…? Do I become another statistic and #Homeless , alone and #suffering and no one cares? I’m not sure that’s depression or reality and reality sucks enough to make you feel depressed. I don’t want anymore “treatment” from anyone and I can’t afford it anyway . I want this to end. I’m PV

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    The Hole

    Mental health is like a hole, a hole where it feels like there’s no help to get out of. The hole is just getting deeper and deeper and further out of reach to get out. The hole is getting darker and darker. It’s getting to a point now after this many years of being in the hole that I just wanna stop, I want to stop digging, I want to stop trying to find a way out, I just want to lay at the bottom of this hole and just lie there. just lie still, and stop trying to fight against myself. However some days that hole doesn’t seem as big or as deep or as dark. Some days that hole has the tiniest light which seems in reach. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. But what I do keep telling myself is that as dark or as deep or big that hole is, some days there is some light, even if it isn’t bright, or as big, there is some light. #hole #MentalHealth #light

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    Weekly sharing (7)

    Hello Mind Conquerors!

    Like i would like to do every friday, i will repropose this initiative, these are the concepts:

    - Sharing how you are feeling in this moment

    - Activating notifications on this post

    - Reading comments as they are being made, and replying to those to which you can relate to, either with practical advices or kind words :)

    If you want to, feel free to give any suggestion to change or improve this post!

    The idea is to make us talk with each other in a form that look like a community chat, to stimulate communication and give life to interesting conversations!

    If you don't want to comment or reply, don't feel like you have to!

    You may just read or skip without any problem, as you please 😊

    Thanks to everyone who spent time reading this post :)

    #Weeklysharing #conqueryourmind #feelings

    #MentalHealth #Suicide #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

    #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #rarediseas #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Schizophrenia #Abuse

    #Happiness #Sadness #freedom #Fear #enjoy #anger #calm #disgust #Pride #neutrality #peace #Stress

    #honesty #Openess #dark #light

    44 comments
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    Awareness

    I have been a long time advocate for my daughter that has mental illnesses plus other medical conditions and through this journey I have shed light or more so a “spotlight” on my mental illnesses I thought I hid so well. #Awareness #light #lovethyself

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    This #Song “Better Days” by my absolute favorite singer-songwriter Dermot Kennedy that has one of the most #Powerful , #relatable #MusicVideos

    “It’s about #perseverance and shows the feeling -the actual physical assault that life can throw at you and pushing through and pushing through -the image of the rain actually hitting you and hitting you, but always knowing that something better is on the way and that the #darkness will always give way to #light

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    Do "lights" in life Fill Your Mighty Bucket?? 💡🕯️ #FillYourMightyBucket #DistractMe #Hope #light

    I was outside yesterday, and I came across lights that had been hung up on trees. I find that during some experiences in life I may appreciate the unexpected (or even expected, but especially unexpected) lights more than I may during other experiences in life. If times have been rougher, those lights can help Fill My Mighty Bucket, even if just somewhat.

    Do "lights" in your life Fill Your Mighty Bucket? They don't need to be literal lights either!🙂

    #MightyTogether #StayStrong

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    one light two...

    each little light

    each little bright

    each little heart

    adds UP

    bright light

    white light

    glow

    YES we KNOW

    love

    ((thank-YOU :)

    #angel #light #Bright #ThankYou

    2 comments
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    New Member

    I’m new here to this site and not very talkative today. The last week has been one different mood/feeling after another. Today I’m just tired. I know my mental illnesses are for a lifetime and just knowing that is sometimes exhausting. If I’m to survive in this world I have to wear this damn fake mask all my damn life and some days I can go with the flow and some days it just impossible and other days like today is just damn tiresome and I’m worn out on it.
    #Depression #Anxiety #Psychosis #light Agoraphobia

    6 comments
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    ...the blood moon.

    the blood moon has set.

    now, the sun rises.

    dawn gradually lights the observable sky…

    brighter… brighter… brighter still.

    wisdom begins its reign.

    I choose to avoid the alleys.

    I choose to escape the hustle.

    I don’t wish to gamble breath

    in the trappings of the shadows.

    instead, I seek the suns light,

    and long for the warming of my soul.

    fantasy land charges its admission

    in fractal pathways of neglected thinking.

    wisdom… is not paying the entry fee in the first place.

    wisdom… is also getting off the blood moon ride.

    wisdom… is leaving the park to search for something better.

    wisdom… is grounding on a firm foundation.

    the blood moon has set.

    the sun has risen.

    righteousness fills the land.

    fill me.

    the blood moon is fleeting…

    a known phenomenon that happens

    with the laws in place and the passing of time.

    but wisdom?

    wisdom comes from God…

    listening to Him… listening out for Him…

    looking for where He is at work…

    seeking diligently at all times,

    not just at the blood moon.

    © Mark Bryant. May 27th, 2021.

    [Proverbs 1-4]

    #MightyPoets

    #overcome

    #light

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    ...held by helium.

    …held by helium.

    revive my soul.

    a refining work continues its need to take place.

    there’s no hiding that fact.

    there’s impurities galore that keep rising to the surface,

    in the ebbs and flows of life’s furnace.

    Your promises are a trustworthy pact,

    despite the circumstances that I daily face.

    make me whole.

    sparkle my eyes.

    pure silver dripping in the tears I shed,

    my requests rise to You.

    the light of days and nights and scars

    penetrates the hopelessness of prison bars.

    no matter what I say or do,

    I need to trust You rather than my head.

    truth be wise.

    hands that move,

    rise up skyward as if held by helium,

    searching beyond earth for reward.

    You alone are my inheritance.

    help me hold You in complete reverence.

    taking roads least explored,

    grace that covers the depths of my delirium.

    find my groove.

    lift me up.

    unfailing love is the ultimate blessing.

    come to my rescue.

    I need to sing because You are good.

    give me the courage to act. understood?

    my body is Your venue.

    woo me with Your righteous caressing.

    fill my cup.

    © Mark Bryant. May 7th, 2021.

    [Psalms 12-17, 19-21]

    #MightyPoets

    #overcome

    #light