I feel like I’m carrying around a bucket. It’s been with me my whole life but it’s never been this full or heavy. My bucket is full of thick, sticky, tar from having a stroke when I was 24 years old. It’s full of heavy rocks from when I was told I couldn’t have children. It’s full of sand from when we were offered a baby to adopt but it fell through for us, but then my brother and sister in law were able to just raise their hands and take the baby home like it’s no big deal. It’s full of sharp metal guilt from being raised in an oppressive religion where I was told my only purpose in life is to be a mother.
I’m carrying this bucket around, one day at a time. I’m slowly taking out the heavy, traumatic things in my bucket. I’m not letting the people that fill my bucket with garbage get anywhere near me anymore. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to keep going, but I need to empty this bucket first. #truama #Stroke #Therapy