I feel hurt and exhausted and I want to be ok but no matter what seems to happen I’m not ok and i want to go back to how I was when I was happy and I cared and back to a time when I still had some hope left
But now I don’t think I have any hope left because I’m a disaster and I can’t take much more of this #notokay #helpmedeal #givingup
I’m not having a good day- I’ve spent the last 3 hrs driving all over the place trying to not have to be in this house- I feel terrible, I am so tired, so anxious- I’m not sure if it’s adjusting to the medication, or just accepting the awful place my life is at right now, not knowing how to get out of it.. how could I have been this mentally ill all these years and never known it? I’m truly afraid to tell anyone else how I feel because I’m afraid to scare them. I’m not trying to manipulate anyone- make them think they have to do what I want so I won’t do anything stupid ... I don’t know, but I just needed to tell SOMEONE... someone who won’t panic and try to tell me I need a hospital ( even though sometimes I think I do) or worse think I’m overreacting to try to illicit sympathy, or to get something from them. I’m just hating being here- I really hate who I’m becoming- I hate my mom, I really hate her- I never realized how much I can’t stand her.. the worse thing is - I’m becoming just like her! I must’ve been such an awful person to love with all these years ...
#CheckInWithMe #dontknowwheretoturn #Canttakemuchmore #LosingMyself
Getting down my basement stairs, which is a task I really needed to finish due to the movers on the floor above me, took an hour today and I feel physically exhausted and pretty done with feeling this defeated doing simple tasks every day. I had to give up my independence due to this incurable condition and it's just messed up that the world works the way it does. I'm losing hope that I can go on and live my life with this constant pain. I'm sorry, I really needed to get that off my chest today. I need to know if this is all worth the effort.
#Pain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #hardtobreathe #SeizureDisorder #CyclicVomitingSyndrome #CheerMeOn #CheckInWithMe #notokay #ChronicPain #Cancer #Migraine #Scoliosis #Achalasia #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Canttakemuchmore
Ok so I’m new to this... diagnosis fibromyalgia (no treatment or any discussion on helping yet) appointment with women’s college in December and then also borderline personality, anxiety disorder, ptsd... so hot mess.
Anyone have anything they can suggest to help deal with all the pain and brain hot mess #Fibromyalgia #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Pain #Canttakemuchmore
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