I really have got a question in my mind... Is there anything really exist named as trauma... Or trauma recovery... Does it... Cause for everyone, it just doesn’t exist.... Yeah, it just doesn’t.... Even my psychiatrist says so... 'Cause life is all about forget and forgive........
No, it’s not...... If it's all about that, then why it’s constantly killing me...... Why it’s causing so much pain.... Why it feels so scarier than depression itself.... Why... I need answers... It’s killing me.... But, no one is giving me the answers..... All I feel is disappointment and frustration.... I am trying to talk but no one's listening.... It’s so suffocating............
If everything is supposed to be better, then why...........
It’s even to that extent that I am being made to feel guilty for going through all these... 'Cause allegedly, everything got better..........
And, I am the wrong one..... It’s like I am being made the villain again in my own life.... Something exactly I went through during those initial days....... I was naive... I had no answer for why and what... But, I was living in the same hell like this..... The same desperation, the vulnerability, the very desperate try to seek help from others.. Only to end up as the guilty one.... And becoming the villain which I was never.... I was the victim... The innocent one who had no clues.......
It’s repeating... Everything.... With the exact details... Then, it led to this........
But this time, though I feel like the guilty one...... But I am not naive and not the one who could be easily manipulated.... This journey has been very long......
Like before, I am hopeful there is an answer... There is recovery.... And I am not the villain... So the guilty trap is over... I am not 18 anymore.. I was never the villain......
Yeah, I will search for the answers.... I will........
#Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Trauma #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether






