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#Low self esteem meets #Hypersexuality meets #SocialAnxiety meets #Loneliness meets #Depression

I’m a man in my early 50’s with a world of struggles. I live in search for love, mainly because I have never been shown love, my biological family was always bickering, my mother neglected me and always had to deal with beatings or fist fights, and sexual abuse by my half brother. So I sought it in women, however I have social anxiety mostly with women and low self esteem, no money no hunny and not good enough for her to want me. Then there’s hypersexuality for both the physical and sexual abuse. How is a man, who has tried and failed so many times can truly be happy? My ex and I’s relationship of 17 years together was because she got pregnant ( we met online, I was her summer play toy and I am horny all the time) so it was a relationship that was good but was not ever true love more like friends with benefits and parenting our son too. I sometimes make mistakes when approaching women that may turn them off or not realizing the signs they are interested until it’s to late. I’m depressed, lonely, And have given up on looking for her, I am disabled and living in my car, with no income ( “oh, he is such a catch, I want to live at rock bottom with him”) that’s what I hear in my head every time I see an attractive woman I would like to meet and they ignore me like I am going to give them covid or the poverty virus. I’m sure that nobody else can understand the struggles I’m going through. Thanks for reading, hope it didn’t bore you too much. #Loveless #alone #crazyornot #Disability #CheckInWithMe #SuicidalThoughts #MentalHealth #emotional mental abuse #adolescent sexual molestation trauma

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I asked my boyfriend not to do something that would affect my mental state and let him know it could ruin our relationship. (I used DBT skills like Dear Man to try and explain to him how it would hurt). He did the thing and now realizes how it really did affect me. He says he should have believed me more, he just didn’t believe I could fall that far. Well now, I have resent because he chose to allow me to hurt and regress after having been putting so much work into therapy. He’s wonderful in every way possible, but he disrespected me and my mind. He made my mental illness worse and i’m feeling heartbroken. He said I’m crazy and doesn’t understand how and why it affected me so much. I know it sounds like it’s time for us to part... damn. He’s been the only non-abusive boyfriend and my favorite is how he used to make me smile and laugh. I guess this month, he made me more sad than anything.
#borderlinelife #BPD #crazyornot