crazyornot

I’m a man in my early 50’s with a world of struggles. I live in search for love, mainly because I have never been shown love, my biological family was always bickering, my mother neglected me and always had to deal with beatings or fist fights, and sexual abuse by my half brother. So I sought it in women, however I have social anxiety mostly with women and low self esteem, no money no hunny and not good enough for her to want me. Then there’s hypersexuality for both the physical and sexual abuse. How is a man, who has tried and failed so many times can truly be happy? My ex and I’s relationship of 17 years together was because she got pregnant ( we met online, I was her summer play toy and I am horny all the time) so it was a relationship that was good but was not ever true love more like friends with benefits and parenting our son too. I sometimes make mistakes when approaching women that may turn them off or not realizing the signs they are interested until it’s to late. I’m depressed, lonely, And have given up on looking for her, I am disabled and living in my car, with no income ( “oh, he is such a catch, I want to live at rock bottom with him”) that’s what I hear in my head every time I see an attractive woman I would like to meet and they ignore me like I am going to give them covid or the poverty virus. I’m sure that nobody else can understand the struggles I’m going through. Thanks for reading, hope it didn’t bore you too much. #Loveless #alone #crazyornot #Disability #CheckInWithMe #SuicidalThoughts #MentalHealth #emotional mental abuse #adolescent sexual molestation trauma